Drug addicts playing havoc with family life

By Maha Sami Aboulola
JEDDAH – When looking for a bride for their son, one of the most important considerations for Saudi families is the reputation of the bride’s family, which is based on centuries-old Saudi tradition. Reema Abdulhadi, 31, a private sector employee, has been forced to join the ranks of the Kingdom’s spinsters despite her beautiful face. A large number of suitors come to ask for her hand, but they never come back after the first visit. “I am a well educated girl from a good family but, unfortunately, my father is a drug addict who steals and is in and out of jail because of his addiction,” she said.Abdulhadi and many other girls have been suffering in silence because of the addiction of a member of their family, being unable to start a normal family of their own. “It is really very frustrating. The behavior of your father or mother is affecting your life negatively, but there is nothing you can do about it,” added Abdulhadi.Sari Arafat, 12, has also been affected by his father’s drug addiction, which led to his parents’ divorce following which both of them rejected him. “Being the son of a non-Saudi father who has a criminal record as a result of his addiction ruins any chance I had of getting the Saudi nationality from my mother,” said Arafat. Studies show that addicted parents often lack the ability to provide structure or discipline in family life, but at the same time they expect their children to be competent at a wide variety of tasks earlier than do non-substance-abusing parents.“Children of addicted parents are faced with emotional difficulties caused by their parents situation and the rejection of society,” said Azza Abubakur, a sociologist at King Abdulaziz University. “It is well known that drug addiction is not accepted in Saudi society. And this is especially true when it comes to marriage. Parents refuse to allow their children to marry the children of drug addicts so as to prevent any future problems,” she added.Esra Abdullah, 23, the daughter of a man addicted to alcohol, said that in her neighborhood no one wants to communicate with her or her family.“Everyone can see that my drunk father sleeps all day, has no job or money, and forces my mother to ask for money from her relatives,” she said. “We lost our lives, our reputation and our ability to have a normal family just because of drink,” she added. The statistics for drug and alcohol abuse in the Kingdom is as much as 40-50% amongst young saudi men. Islamic scholars think that despite all the difficulties that children of addicted parents face, they should still try to treat and help their parents.“Drugs and alcohol can negatively affect all members of the family, but parents have the right to help and treatment instead of being hated. Muslims should keep in mind that in at least four places, the Qur’an puts kindness to parents immediately after worship of Allah, which is why Muslims should be gentle and kind to their parents and treat them with respect,” said Sheikh Taha Hassan. –

Source:
http://www.saudigazette.com.sa/index.cfm?method=home.regcon&contentid=2009041935508

Women driving in Saudi Arabia

Well it's not the first time that women's right activists have pleaded with Abu Metab (affectionate name for King Abdullah) to allow women to drive within the conservative Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. Recently a group of women who have obtained licences from outside the Kingdom decided to drive their cars and naturally a few of them were detained by  the authorities. The law banning women from driving in the Kingdom is once again not an Islamic law but rather a cultural one and once again it is these cultural laws  that portrays the Arab Islamic world in a negative way. Such laws are baseless and completely against Islamic teachings. Islam was and will always be a religion of foresight and vision. It is man's ignorance that has made a mockery out of the religion to the point where Hilary Clinton supposedly stepped in to try and coerce the King to withdraw the law preventing women from driving. Big Brother America once again wants to portray to the world that they are a nation that upholds women's rights and democracy. The truth is that if our Islamic countries practiced Islam in its purest form and followed the way of the Prophet (saw) it would be undoubtedly the Islamic world  that would be the forerunners in justice, democracy and affording full rights to all women. Ironically the Kingdom does not have a written law in place banning women from driving. This ban is implemented by pressure emerging from the religious police and of course the religious clerics who govern the laws of the country.

At the time of the prophet Muhammed (saw) where the mode of transport was camels or horses, women were allowed and even encouraged to learn how to ride a camel or a horse, so it is only natural that with changing modes of transport over time women should be allowed to drive a vehicle. In many of the remote parts of Saudi Arabia that I have visited, there are many Bedouin women who do actually drive without being bothered by the authorities. Women are also allowed to drive within Saudi Aramco situated in the Eastern part of the country. There is a lot of hypocrisy that exists within the Kingdom. On the one hand a woman is only allowed to travel outside the country after seeking permission from a mahram. A woman’s mahram is a person whom she is never permitted to marry because of their close blood relationship (such as her father, grandfather, great-grandfather, etc., and her son, grandson, great-grandson, etc., her paternal and maternal uncles, her brother, brother’s son and sister’s son), or because because of radaa’ah or breastfeeding (such as the brother and husband of the woman who breastfed her), or because they are related by marriage (such as the mother’s husband, the husband’s father, grandfather, etc., and the husband’s son, grandson, etc.).Whilst on the other hand because she can not drive herself she is forced to make use of cabs or hire a driver who is not her mahram. There has been a few isolated reports whereby drivers have abused their female passengers. In a twist of tale, there has also been reports of numerous females indulging in sexual relationships with their drivers.

When the religious clerics were questioned regarding the whole mahram issue, Sheikh Abdul Mohsin Bin Nasser Al Obaikan, a member of the Scholars of Saudi Arabia, the king advisers and consultants in the ministry of law caused a controversy after issuing one of the most bizarre and ridiculous laws ever. It is so ridiculous that any intelligent person would recognise the level of ignorance that the people of power hold in today's times. The Prophet (saw) said, 'Just before the Hour, there will be days in which knowledge will disappear and ignorance will appear, and there will be much killing.' " (Ibn Majah; also narrated by Bukhari and Muslim,from the Hadith of al-A'mash.) 

Sheikh Nasser Bin Abdul Mohsin Al Obaikan said that the driver can interact freely with the entire family without breaking the law master Saudi Arabia if they are breastfed by women who employ them.
Sheikh Nasser Bin Abdul Mohsin Al Obaikan said “A woman can breastfeed an adult man, so he became her son. Thus he can interact with all the women in her employer’s house without violating Islamic law. ”
Sheikh Nasser Bin Abdul  Mohsin Al Obaikan said “The man should drink breast milk, but not directly from her breast. Once he drinks the breast milk he would become a member of the family, allowing him to interact freely with the women of the household without violating any Islamic law. ”But one other Saudi religious official, Sheikh Abu Ishaq al Huwaini  does not agree with the fatwa, he says that the man should suck milk directly from the breast, rather than glass. Both views are absolutely nonsensical.
Thousands of other clerics across the globe have denounced these baseless rulings and quite rightly so.

 
http://www.wltx.com/news/article/153156/0/Saudi-Woman-to-Get-10-Lashes-for-Driving-a-Car - picture

On the flip side of things, as a Muslim woman coming from a western orientated society where I was allowed to drive I always wished that I had a driver to chauffeur me around especially from work to home which was usually a long tedious one hour drive. When I came to Saudi Arabia my wish came true as I now have a driver. I feel that my life has become so much more convenient. With one phone call my driver appears like a genie in a bottle. I don't have to concentrate on the road anymore. I don't have to be stressed out driving through peak hour traffic with cars honking and speeding down the road. I don't have to look for parking at a shopping centre any more. I simply get dropped off right at the doorstep. I don't have to concentrate and become irritated whilst driving through Riyadh's horrendous traffic. The driving culture here is very rough and so even if I was allowed to drive I wouldn't want to drive. And of course if you are a married woman, your life becomes a thousand times easier as hubby has to take on most of the responsibilities like dropping the kids of to school or picking them up if the driver is not available. In a western society, women have to be super moms undertaking many responsibilities. I find that in Saudi Arabia the women here are more relaxed as most of the chores are delegated to the driver and of course the husband. I actually feel more pampered and queen like being chauffeur driven but of course that is just my opinion. Someone else could think otherwise.

Whilst Saudi women are demanding the King to allow them to drive in the Kingdom which is definitely a step in the right direction towards enforcing proper Islamic laws, I do firmly believe that there are other more urgent and pressing issues regarding women's rights that needs to be addressed such as domestic violence against women, tribal arranged marriages which is once again un-Islamic, better employment opportunities for women, female education and of course making court procedures involving women easier. The issue of women driving  in Saudi Arabia is quite a trivial one  in comparison to the above issues I've mentioned. To Saudi Women I'd like to say that the grass always seems to be greener on the other side until you experience it for yourself!!!!!

Saudi Arabia's Bizarre Marriage Laws---Nothing Islamic about it

Saudi law approves marriage with foreigners.

Law sets conditions for such marriages and SR100,000 fine for violators

By Nadim Kawach

Published Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Saudi Arabia approved a law regulating marriage between its citizens and foreigners after several years of haggling because of widening rifts among law makers on the landmark law, the official media reported on Tuesday. 

The law allowed Saudis to have foreign spouses but stipulated that they need prior approval by a new government committee which could take up to three months to decide whether to agree or reject the request. 

Under the law, the marriage must be in line with Islamic rules and the couple must be free of any serious diseases, should not be drug addicts and the age gap between them must not exceed 25 years. 

After a lengthy debate on Monday, the Shura council, the Gulf Kingdom’s appointed parliament, ratified the law which gave Saudis the right to have spouses from the other members of the Gulf Cooperation Council. 

A Saudi man or woman seeking to marry from outside the Kingdom or the GCC must submit an application to a government committee to be created shortly by the ministries of interior, foreign affairs, justice and social affairs. The committee also comprises representatives from the Saudi Human Rights Commission. 

“After receiving the application, the committee will present its proposal to the minister of interior to decide on the application three months after it is submitted to the committee,” the official Saudi press agency said. 

“Those who violate the new rules on the marriage of Saudis to non-Saudis or non-GCC citizens will be fined a maximum SR100,000 ($26,500) to be deposited with the Saudi Arabian Monetary Agency and credited to the ministry of social affairs, which will allocate the funds to help Saudi men seeking to marry.” 

Experts described the law as a policy turnaround in the conservative Moslem nation and reverses recent calls to introduce tougher curbs on mixed marriage. 

They said the new law would help reverse an upward trend in the number of spinsters in Saudi Arabia, the world’s largest oil exporter. 

Official data showed Saudi Arabia had around 1.8 million unmarried national women above 30 years old and that their number could exceed four million in the next four years. Officials attributed the problem to the fact that many Saudi men prefer foreign wives despite the existing curbs due to the high wedding expenses and dowries demanded by national spouses. 

Another reason is the high divorce rate among Saudis, standing at 18,000 cases in 2010, nearly 30 per cent of the total 60,000 marriages last year. 

The new law is a reversal of a recent tendency by Riyadh to introduce harsher laws against mixed marriage

The Kingdom, which controls over 20 per cent of the world’s oil, already enforces controls governing the marriage of Saudis with foreigners. 

Before it was ratified by Shura on Monday, the marriage law faced reservations from the country’s human rights groups, which had demanded the cancellation of the proposal to deprive those involved in mixed marriage from government loans because such a move will also affect the relatives of the spouse. 

According to a Shura member, around 700,000 Saudi women are married to foreigners but their husbands and children are deprived of most government benefits granted to Saudis. The new law is expected to end this practice. 

“The Shura is also considering a draft law to grant Saudi citizenship to foreign husbands of Saudi women if they meet specific terms,” Shura member Sadqa Fadel said, quoted by the Arabic language daily Almadina. 

“These include the need to get children, the continuation of marriage for many years and the need for the foreign husband to prove his good intention towards his Saudi wife and to treat her nicely.”


The above article was published in an Emirati newspaper a few days ago.The Kingdom of Saudi Arabia is noted for the implementation of some of the most bizarre rules in history. Many of them are not in line with Shariah or Islamic teachings at all. For years now it has been a well known fact that Saudi men have to be either divorced or 35 years old and above in order to wed a non Saudi woman. A Saudi woman on the other hand has to be 25 years old or above in order to marry a non Saudi man. She could marry a non Saudi man at the age of 21 years old provided that the man is  her relative.  I'm quite certain that this law still stands as is should a saudi marry a foreigner from a non GCC country.

The above law that has been implemented a few days ago allows Saudis to marry individuals within the GCC states only based on the premise that the GCC countries are muslim countries adopting the same culture and religion.Many memebers of the Shura council in other articles published were not happy with the implementation of this law as they believe men from other GCC states would come into Saudi as "gold diggers" simply to gain oil wealth and the benefits that the Saudi government offered to its citizens.

It shocks me that the place where Islam was born is the very same place where Islam is practiced incorrectly going completely against the Quraan and the life of the Prophet (saw). No where does it say that an Arab should marry an Arab. In fact in the Prophet (saw) last sermon he mentioned quite clearly that "All mankind is from Adam and Eve, an Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab nor a non-Arab has any superiority over an Arab; also a white has no superiority over black nor a black has any superiority over white except by piety and good action"

How can a government control a nation to such an extent that laws have to be implemented regarding who a citizen can marry or not.And yet the same decision makers go against the very same laws they have implemented to their nations by marrying foreign British, Canadian and American women.

Abeer is a colleague of mine who is from Eritrea. She wants to wed a Saudi man. They are both very happy with each other and the families are happy too,but the unfortunate part is that they have applied to the Saudi government to request permission and approval for their marriage. Its been five years now and they are battling to get this approval accepted. Thrice it has been rejected thus far for various different reasons each time. In the interim her mom passed away and as a couple they are losing hope of ever receiving a marriage approval.Like Abeer, there are thousands of Saudi men in the Kingdom who are married to foreign women but their marriages are not legally recognised in the country due to this approval process.The problems get worse when these illegal marriages produce kids. In Islam a woman is encouraged to marry a muslim man only. But he can be a muslim man from any country around the world irrespective of nationality or skin colour. A muslim man is also encouraged to marry a muslim woman but can marry a woman from the Christian or Jewish faith provided that they are residing within a muslim country. The reason for this is that Islam respects the people of the book simply because the Quraan has extensive verses about Isa (as) and many verses related to the prophet of the Jewish nation as well.The woman does not need to convert her religion provided that she is a practising Jew or Christian and that her kids will grow up following their fathers religion.This is the opinion of most of the Islamic theologians.The reason for this is that the man in most cultures is the head of the home and so naturally his kids would be following his faith. Islam does not allow women to marry Christian or Jewish men based on the premise that after marriage the kids would have to follow the husbands religion as he would be the head of the home and also because the Christian and Jewish faiths do not respect or view the Islamic religion with integrity as a religion of God.They do not believe at all in the Prophet Muhammed (saw). So naturally it would be very difficult for a Christian husband or a Jewish husband to allow his muslim wife to believe in one Allah and the prophet Muhammed (saw) as the final messenger of God, Almighty.

A woman may be married for four reasons: for her property, for her rank, for her beauty, and for her religion (and character), so marry the one who is best in the religion and character and prosper..as stated by the prophet Muhammed (saw).

Take note that the prophet (saw) emphasized character and religion. He did not emphasize on temporary materialistiic reasons for marriage. And yet what we see in today's society is quite the opposite where marriage has become a means of acquiring someones property or wealth or status. The basis or intention of marriage is wrong from the beginning so how can marriages be successful. Hence the shocking divorce rate within many muslim communities across the globe especially Saudi Arabia as quite rightly mentioned in the newspaper article above.

It amazes me how thousands of people can sit back, relax and stare whilst human beings who are far away from their Creator can simply hijack their religion and create new rules not to benefit society but to benefit themselves.The members of the Shura council who are against the new marriage laws simply because they are afraid of gold digger type suitors entering into the Kingdom have no concept of Islam in my opinion,for they fail to understand that the same creator who has given them oil wealth which was the dua and the prayer of Ebrahim(AS) is the very same creator who can dry up the oil fields within seconds leaving the country in a dismal array of financial ruin. When bizarre, nonsensical rules are implemented by ignorant individuals it is then that the world perceives the Islamic religion to be backward and out of touch with modern times. The character portrayed by almost all the rulers within the Islamic world is not even a pin drop to what an Islamic leaders character should be like. If each of these ruthless, wicked individuals who have done nothing but usurped the wealth of the country due to greed practiced their lifestyle according to the ways and mannerisms of the prophet Muhammed (saw) the Middle East would not be in such turmoil and disunity as we see today!!!!

British Actress Inspired by Prophet (SAW)'s Life

Myriam Francois-Cerrah Embraces Islam

This is her story

I embraced Islam after graduating from Cambridge. Prior to that I was a skeptical Catholic; a believer in God but with a mistrust of organized religion.

The Qur’an was pivotal for me. I first tried to approach it in anger, as part of an attempt to prove my Muslim friend wrong. Later I began reading it with a more open mind.

The opening of Al Fatiha, with its address to the whole of mankind, psychologically stopped me in my tracks. It spoke of previous scriptures in a way which I both recognized, but also differed. It clarified many of the doubts I had about Christianity. It made me an adult as I suddenly realized that my destiny and my actions had consequences for which I alone would now be held responsible.

In a world governed by relativism, it outlined objective moral truths and the foundation of morality. As someone who’d always had a keen interest in philosophy, the Qur’an felt like the culmination of all of this philosophical cogitation. It combined Kant, Hume, Sartre and Aristotle. It somehow managed to address and answer the deep philosophical questions posed over centuries of human existence and answer its most fundamental one, ‘why are we here?’

In the Prophet Muhammad, I recognized a man who was tasked with a momentous mission, like his predecessors, Moses, Jesus and Abraham. I had to pick apart much of the Orientalist libel surrounding him in order to obtain accurate information, since the historical relativism which people apply to some degree when studying other historical figures, is often completely absent, in what is a clear attempt to disparage his person.

I think many of my close friends thought I was going through another phase and would emerge from the other side unscathed, not realizing that the change was much more profound. Some of my closest friends did their best to support me and understand my decisions. I have remained very close to some of my childhood friends and through them I recognize the universality of the Divine message, as God’s values shine through in the good deeds any human does, Muslim or not.

I have never seen my conversion as a ‘reaction’ against, or an opposition to my culture. In contrast, it was a validation of what I’ve always thought was praiseworthy, whilst being a guidance for areas in need of improvement. I also found many mosques not particularly welcoming and found the rules and protocol confusing and stressful. I did not immediately identify with the Muslim community. I found many things odd and many attitudes perplexing. The attention given to the outward over the inward continues to trouble me deeply.

There is a need for a confident, articulate British Muslim identity which can contribute to the discussions of our time. Islam is not meant to be an alien religion, we shouldn’t feel like we’ve lost all trace of ourselves. Islam is a validation of the good in us and a means to rectify the bad. Islam is about always having balance and I think the Prophet's (peace be upon him) message was fundamentally about having balance and equilibrium in all that we do.

The Prophet's message was always that you repel bad with good that you always respond to evil with good and always remember that God loves justice so even when people are committing serious injustices against you, you have a moral responsibility and a moral obligation in front of God to always uphold justice and never yourself transgress those limits.

Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) said: 'Forgive him who wrongs you. Join him who cuts you off. Do good to him who does evil to you and speak the truth even if it be against yourself.'

Islam's beauty really becomes to its own when it becomes manifest and it becomes manifest when you make it into a tool for the betterment of society, human kind and the world.

The ideal from an Islamic perspective is for ethics to become lived ethics, to become an applied body of values and not remain unfortunately as it often is cloistered in the mosque of somewhere which is some more divorced from reality.

Myriam Francois-Cerrah became popular when she was a child for acting in the 90's hit film 'Sense and Sensibility.' Now she is gaining more popularity for being one of a growing number of educated middle class female converts to Islam in Britain.

She has recently contributed to a series of videos on Islam produced in the UK titled (Inspired by Muhammad saw).