POLYGAMY- A LIFE OF MARITAL BLISS OR DESPAIR

This article was written some time back....

Polygamy is very much condoned within the Islamic faith provided that each wife is taken care off equally in all spheres of life. However, in most instances the man is often more accommodating to the needs of the newest wife as she is probably younger and more beautiful than the other wives and in most cases the man forgets about his responsibilities towards his first or second wife thereby causing tension and arguments within the household. A few weeks a go a middle aged woman arrived at the hospital suffering from severe anxiety and virtually on the brink of a nervous breakdown. Her husband of thirty years brought home a second wife who is the same age as her eldest daughter. She was use to living in a mansion with her family without having to share the house with another woman. Her husband instructed her to vacate her belongings from the first floor to make space for the second wife. This whole situation was a bitter pill for her to swallow and hence she landed up in the emergency department.
I am not a big fan of polygamous relationships and I guess this stems from the fact that I am the only daughter and was brought up in a manner where I never shared anything with anyone. I am also very possessive of my dad. Within my immediate family there is only one case of a polygamous marriage and hence when news of this relationship went viral it was pretty much a shock for the family and only with time did everyone come to accept the situation.

Whilst many people out there are under the impression that all Saudi women are for polygamous relationships the truth is a woman is a woman any where in the world. In general no woman who loves her husband can swallow the idea of him sharing a bed with another woman. In some cases, the jealousy is so great that the first wife goes through extreme measures to prevent her husband from taking on a second wife. A few weeks ago a Saudi man was deprived his right to a second honeymoon after the judge sentenced him to nine months in jail along with a hundred lashes after his wife reported his pre-marital illicit relationships to the police. The frustrated and hurt woman wanted to take revenge on her husband after he informed her that he would be traveling to a neighbouring Arab country to acquire a new second wife. Unable to bare the torment of his actions the woman handed over DVD's and sex tapes to the police depicting her husband engaging in sexual activities with various other women prior to his marriage to her.
The most gruesome story of revenge occurred a few years ago in Kuwait when a jealous first wife set the wedding tent on fire that was packed with revellers celebrating her husband's marriage to a second wife. 57 people were burnt to death in this incident and the court ruling demanded that the woman be sentenced to death as well for her merciless action. Many western women who land up marrying a Saudi men make sure that a marriage contract is drawn up with a clause that prevents the husband from taking on a second wife. These women become extremely possessive of their husbands to the point where one blogger within the Saudi blogosphere wrote a post " A letter to Saudi women- Please leave my husband alone" . I wonder if her husband is a Tom Cruise or Shah Rukh Khan look alike for women to be ogling at her husband. I always believe that it takes two to tango.

On the flip side of things, I came across an article in a local newspaper with the title ' Sharing is caring- why many Saudi women don't mind polygamy". The article brings to the fore a serious issue within the Kingdom and that is spinsterhood. There are approximately two million unmarried Saudi women thus far and this number is most likely to increase in the future. Many of these spinsters apparently do not mind being in a polygamous relationship out of fear of being alone without kids for the rest of their lives. With an evident shortage of unmarried men, there are some Saudi women who have considered polygamy as an option. I have come across women that are quite happy to be in polygamous marriages. A colleague of mine is married to two women and they all live together in one house. They look after each others kids and also travel together. A few months ago I seen a Saudi man arriving at a hotel in a bus with his four wives and 26 children. The wives were quite happy to be in each others company and took turns to oversee the children.
I have also come across Saudi women who do not mind if their husbands take on a second wife and will actually go through great lengths in finding a suitable second wife for him . Usually the second wife is someone that is closely acquainted to the first wife, most probably a cousin or a close friend. I guess its a case of 'rather the devil I know, than the devil I don't know'.

Whilst there is always two sides to a coin, I am personally not comfortable with the idea of being in a polygamous relationship with anyone. No matter how wealthy or powerful the man could be, I can not be the cause of breaking up someone else's home. I have had proposals from many Saudi men asking me to be a second wife and my answer has always been the same. NO..NEVER....To the women out there, how would you react if your husband rocked up with a new, younger, sexy woman on his arm and asked you to vacate the first floor of your home in order to make space for her? If there are any men out there who are in a polygamous marriage situation, I would like to know your thoughts and opinions with regards to this subject matter.

Source:
http://english.alarabiya.net/articles/2012/09/27/240384.html

http://gulfnews.com/news/gulf/saudi-arabia/saudi-man-caught-with-sex-videos-of-himself-sentenced-1.1077065

http://www.thenational.ae/news/world/middle-east/woman-who-set-fire-to-wedding-tent-killing-57-has-death-penalty-upheld-in-kuwait

EID 2013

Eid Mubarak-- Kullu 3am wa antum bekhair wa si77a wa 3afiyya

It is with mixed emotions that we approach the end of Ramadhaan. I am extremely thankful and grateful to Allah Ta’ala for allowing us to benefit from the enormous spiritual benefits of Ramadhaan, the fasting, taraweeh salaah, charity, recitation of Qur’aan etc. At the same time I am sad that this Mubarak (auspicious) month has come to an end. For a true believer everyday of his or her life should be spent like how we generally spend our precious time in Ramadhaan, full of virtuous acts.

Let us formulate strategies and ways to uphold this spirit and actions.Remember true and eternal happiness, bliss and joy can only be achieved by leading our lives according to the Commandments of Allah Ta’ala and following the beautiful and noble lifestyle (sunnah) of His Beloved Messenger Muhammad (salallaho alaihe wassallam).

We should also remember that while we celebrate the joyous day of Eid-ul-Fitr there are millions of our brothers and sisters who are being oppressed and persecuted. Let us not forget about them. Let us enjoy this day of Eid in a manner pleasing to our Creator and Sustainer Allah Ta’ala.

Eid Mubarak to you and your family and May Allah Ta’ala bless and grant you barakah (blessings) in this world and the akhirah(hereafter) ...May Allah accept your fasting and duas. Let us remember the Ummah which is in pain and distress in many parts of the world and if possible let us contribute in whatever way possible whether it be financially or by way of your sincere duas. Make dua for those who have passed on....May ALLAH grant relief to those in need, May Allah ease the plight of so many that are downtrodden,& oppressed ...May Allah grant Shi'fa (cure) to those that are ill and may ALLAH grant us a death with Emaan (faith) and true success in both this world and the hereafter…Ameen

Seven Seas Signature Spa and Hair Salon

Visiting the Seven Seas Signature Spa and hair salon this morning has left me feeling relaxed and on top of the world. Ever since the spa opened a few months ago, I have been trying to make my way to it and finally today I decided to treat mom and pamper myself to a deep cleansing facial along with a full hair colour, highlights and a blow dry. The masterminds behind the spa is none other than the celebrity event planner, Mr. Aadil Saith and his brother Mr. Ismail Saith. Walking into the spa certainly brought out  the 'aaarrrrhhh' factor in me as I inhaled the beautiful aromas that welcomed me. I was greeted by warm and friendly staff that had a huge smile on their faces. Mom and I were asked to complete a questionnaire that is usually standard in all spas pertaining to our allergies, health conditions and of course medication usage.I was then ushered into a private room and asked to change. The ambience in the room was outstanding. The beautiful decor along with the scented candles in the room created an atmosphere of absolute peace and tranquility. It did not feel as though I was snap bang in the middle of town. I do want to take the opportunity in complimenting my therapist Eureka for her kind and friendly demeanour and personality. I must say that she has good hands. Whilst giving  me a shoulder and foot massage I was falling off to sleep as I was so relaxed. Visiting all the rooms in the spa, one can not help but notice the great pride that was taken on detail. The breathtaking decor comprising of varying shades of purple, grey, black, beige, browns, blues and silver themed with exquisite curtaining coupled with the equally gorgeous lounge suites and mosaic mirrors only reflects an owner that has style and an inner creativity. I was particularly impressed with the bridal suite that had all the amenities that a bride requires in order to make her big day even more special. She can be pampered to a variety of treatments, and then step out looking like a supermodel after having her hair and make up done as well. I am usually a very rigid type of a person  when it comes to my hair. I prefer visiting my usual hairdresser at scissors.com as I have been acquainted with her for many years now and she knows my hair in and out. This morning though, whilst I was skeptical at first when I seen such a young team working in the spa salon, I must say the hairstylist at the spa proved me wrong when I seen the end results. The hair colour and the highlights they chose were absolutely perfect. The spa is definitely of an international standard thereby offering a variety of signature treatments from around the globe such as Swedish massage, Moroccan scrubs, Hot lava shell, Shirodhara, Kizhi,  Andaman seashell body polish , and Ayurvedic intelligence to name a few. The spa also offers a variety of dessert treatments that will definitely make your partner wanna eat you up! Some of the treatments on offer include the Blueberry cheesecake, Espresso coffee clay body mask, Chocolate Fondue and Tiramisu treatment. The sheer opulence, elegance and grandiosity of the spa will definitely attract me and almost force me to visit again. 

The Seven Seas Signature Spa is located at No. 85c Mint Road Fordsburg inside the Image Lifestyle Wedding and Conference Venue

To make a treatment booking contact them at: 011 838- 9938

For any further info, kindly click on the link below:
http://m.sevenseasspa.co.za/