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So whilst chatting to my cousins a few nights ago I was quite disappointed to learn about the cattish behaviour of our young Muslim girls at university. Apparently its all about glitz and glamour and competing with each other in terms of clothing, cars and of course more respect is given to a girl who originates from the so called elite northern suburbs. I personally believe that no child is brought up with this snotty elitist attitude. It all boils down to upbringing...If you think that university is all about a fashion parade I'm sorry to burst your bubble..It isn't. It is quite sad that many of our young men and women are so consumed with materialism that they fail to see the bigger picture in life. A few weeks ago I was at a function and at our table there was a lady going on for herself about how her daughters only wear branded clothing and they go to an award winning hairdresser etc etc and for university they need to have new clothing all the time.She asked me if I'm also into big brands. My answer was simple, " Aunty what brands are you talking about. Everything nowadays is made in China, Indonesia and India at a ridiculously low price and gullible people like you will pay thousands of rand for the garment just because it has a specific name on it. I'm not a gullible human being.I understand how the world functions and I've also had an opportunity to visit these factories during my travels. It is quite disgusting to see that the workers sewing these branded clothing lines earn less than a dollar a day and yet these branded companies make millions out of the consumer." It reminds me of another story. A few years ago I was working at Milpark hospital as the retail pharmacy manager. There were days that I use to use a Nissan 1400 bakkie to work out of convenience. It was parked off in the driveway and it was so economical on fuel. One day I got to work not realizing that I was being scrutinized by an Indian family in the parking lot. After an hour two at work, my colleague called me saying that a patients family would like to see me to discuss the patients treatment regimen. When I came to the front, I met the family, sat them down and assisted them with their issues. After the discussion as they were leaving, the patients dad asked me, " I think I seen you this morning in the parking lot. Were you the lady in the van." I was like, yes it was me so... The man said, " I never expected an educated person to be riding in a van." I said that a vehicle does not define you as a person and neither is it a benchmark for my integrity as a medical professional..I must be honest I really don't care what car I drive as long as I'm getting from point A to point B.
In an online article I read recently, it was stated that some of the most successful people in the world viewed fashion as a frivolity. In their opinion it is a complete waste of time stressing about what to wear when there are more important pressing issues at hand. Most people find it strange that I wear the same uniform as my staff to work everyday. Why? The answer is simple. I wake up in the morning knowing exactly what to wear and hence I leave the house on time to beat the traffic. I get to work early and hence I am more productive. It is also cost effective. Wearing immaculate formal wear to work everyday means an excess expenditure on clothing and accessories. I rather invest a few more rand on noteworthy investments that would give me returns as opposed to wasting it on clothing. I work with my staff as a team and hence there is no atmosphere of dominance where I would naturally appear to be of a higher level to them had I chosen to wear designer clothing or branded clothing to work everyday. In this way my staff feel comfortable enough with me to discuss any issue that may perturb them.
In my opinion qualities of simplicity and humbleness surpasses personality traits of pride and arrogance. The more you become consumed into materialism the further away you move from the Almighty. I'd rather have God as my friend than a group of cattish women trying to emulate satanic dolls like the Kardashians..It is sad that in today's materialistic fake world of illusion, a person is not respected for what they have on the inside..its all about wealth, glitz and glamour. What a sad state of affairs, isn't it?
As Indians we have had our fair share of discrimination during the Apartheid era but what is sad is that we have chosen to discriminate amongst ourselves..Recently I attended a function and I over heard a grandmother stating the following, " In our family everyone is fair skinned..my grand kids though are chocolate in complexion but I do love them a lot." I thought to myself what a ridiculous statement to make. In a world where kids are born with deformities, cancer and other dreadful diseases shouldn't we be grateful and thankful that the child is normal and healthy. What does skin colour have to do with anything. I have come across parents who actually teach their kids not to associate with darker skinned children.I have also seen parents who tend to have a softer spot for a beautiful fair child over a darker skinned child. In India skin colour is a huge issue..If you browse through the matrimonial columns in a newspaper every groom and his mother is looking for a fair bride even though he looks like a bus knocked him..lol...A woman in India who is dark skinned is usually tormented by society due to her complexion. In most cases finding a groom would be difficult creating tension in the household. The girl could be kind..educated etc but because she is not fair she will be rejected. I recall being told as a child that I am so dark compared to my brother who is fair skinned with brown hair...It never bothered me in the least.
We don't only discriminate against each other with regards to skin colour but we also discriminate with regards to gender. Recently I heard a horrific story of a dad who refused to see his daughter the day she was born simply because he wanted his first born to be a son. Naturally there was no real bond between the father and daughter. In some homes a male child is favoured over a female child. Some parents have this notion that the son of the home needs to get everything in his plate disregarding the daughters rights totally. Some parents still have this perception of one day the daughter will get married and her husband needs to provide for her.
Some time back I was introduced to someone through a mutual friend. After a meeting or two I was told that I'm unattractive, unappealing, I have no sense of dress and I know too much. The only plus factor I supposedly had was a bright radiant clean heart. I thought to myself do I really need to be associated with such a fake superficial individual. Naturally I broke ties with the individual. I expect a person to accept me for me..for what I have on the inside. Beauty fades with time... heart and character remains forever. Characterize a person for their actions not their words or superficial beauty. True beauty is not what is on the outside it is what lies within. The sad part is that these same individuals who taunt others about their darker skin tones hurting people in the process actually act holier than thou...running for umra ten times a year.What is the point of praying when you hurting another human being. What is the point of praying when you are treating people in your own family differently due to the colour of their skin.And to all the men out there who seem to think that they are God's gift to women searching for a snow white wake up and smell the coffee.I wonder if miss world exists in your own household.I guess Indians will be Indians and some things will never change for thy kingdom come..I thank you Allah for allowing me to see people beyond their status, money, looks or profession. To me a cleaner and a CEO of a company is given the same level of respect..
Indeed, it has been a tragic week in our community with the passing away of Mr, Aslam Khan, his wife and son in a horrific accident on Monday evening. On Wednesday we witnessed the tragic demise of a grandfather and his grandchild who burnt to death in a stationary vehicle that the grand dad set a light. What drove the man to commit such a vile act? We can ask ourselves a million and one questions but we won’t be finding the answers. It is quite unfortunate though that amidst the chaos of the entire tragedy there are certain elements within the community who have spread rumours stating that the reason the grand dad did this is because his immediate family was not good to him. They have accused the family of pushing him over the edge. How can people make up stories without knowing the facts? Do you want to know the real story? I will tell you what the real story is.
The grandfather was a devil in the words of his own children. His wife is a sweet, caring, loving woman and we are proud to have her as part of the Medix family. God has really blessed me with good employees who look out for each other. They speak about their lives and family issues openly and of course where we can help we do step in to assist. Over the past few weeks now my colleague has been coming to work literally in tears. Her husband was an abusive man. She always told us that ever since she got married, she never ever had a day of happiness. Last week, he took out a knife for her and tried to stab her. On many occasions he hit her black and blue. There were times he tried throttling her as well. As a team we encouraged her to get out of the relationship and apply for a restraining order against him. On the day of the tragedy we sent her to the police station to seek help and she was also going to move out of the house that very afternoon. She had finally mustered up the courage to leave this monster. After realizing that his wife was no longer going to tolerate the abuse any longer, he went ballistic and hence he committed this devious act. He might have been a smiling, happy man to the world but at home he had a vicious personality. She told us that even whilst praying, he would pull her by her hair and bang her against the wall. This poor woman endured this abuse throughout her married life. She remained in the relationship for the sake of her kids and out of fear as to what society will say if she left him. She was married to this monster as part of an arranged marriage against her will, a man who was 15 years older than her.
There is a part of me that feels that I could have done more to prevent what happened on Wednesday. Perhaps if she had left him a long time ago this would not have happened. The bottom line though is that this incident should be an eye opener to all those women out there who are suffering in silence. Why should you be the victim? These dogs who abuse women should be exposed within the community. They should be named and shamed. Why should they be given the right to walk around in town with their heads high? We Indian people have this shit mentality that abuse, rape and molestation only occurs in other communities but our own. Nonsense. (Kindly excuse my language)Two days ago I heard that a grandfather, a Muslim Indian grandfather molested his own grand-daughter. These men need to be exposed. Have we reached a stage where we can no longer trust our own parents with our children? The imams and leaders of the community need to catch a wake up and start talking about these issues. Get it out in the open. Teach our men how to behave with their families. Teach our sons the etiquette of respecting a woman and another human being. Stop this mentality of hiding everything under the carpet and pretending that everything is perfect when in reality it isn’t. Don’t allow anyone to verbally or physically abuse you. Each one of us is entitled to happiness and respect. If you not happy in a relationship get out of it before it’s too late.
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On this day 11 years ago Allah took you away from us. We watched you coming out of the operating theatre thinking that all was well but little did we know that you were no more. I remember you carrying me on your shoulders as a little girl, buying me sweets and chocolates at Uncles Sparrows shop in Highlands north. Almost every weekend we would visit Dions to buy me a new toy. I still have some of the things you bought me. I kept them hidden faraway. You were a simple man earning a simple salary but you made sure that all my wishes were fulfilled. Every Eid you would give me money to purchase a new outfit. With every "crossy face" I made I would get what my heart desired. I remember all the funny incidents we shared like the group of teenage boys who were driving next to you in Bramley. They opened the car window and handed over a normal land line phone to you telling you that you had an urgent phone call. You took the phone quite naively whilst we all burst out laughing. You mistakenly walked into the ladies toilets at the holiday on ice show. We couldn't stop laughing. You took me to the circus and to concerts and what about the magistrate letting you out scott free for dumping confectionery at an illegal site. Your excuse was, " I was not dumping, I was feeding the rabbits."...lolol... As time went by you grew older and so did I. Whilst at university you would give me a daily allowance to buy food from the canteen. Everyday you bought me junk food from Fordsburg..The days you had to pick me up from university you made sure you were there an hour earlier and if I got a few minutes late you would start panicking. You would send someone to look for me. The day I graduated I wanted you to attend the ceremony but you got ill. I do know that you were the proudest grandfather in the whole world.As time went buy you started losing your eye sight, but you never complained. You pretended that everything was just fine. I remember you watching the news diligently at 8:00 pm and retiring to bed by nine after enjoying a hot cup of tea. I see you in my dreams sometimes, and it feels so real. I know that you in a better place but I miss you so much NANA. Nothing feels the same after you left us but I am sure that you are in a far better place watching over us. One day, I know I will see you again..May Allah grant you the highest stages of Jannah and fill your grave with lots and lots of light. Ameen.
