Be afraid of our own religious fanaticism

                                                   Picture credit: Furqan T. Siddiqui
                               

I am really blessed and fortunate to be brought up in a home where anyone is welcome irrespective of race, colour, creed or sect for that matter. I grew up listening to qawwali music along with various other genres of music as well. I was exposed to the various facets of life from a young age and it taught me tolerance and acceptance of others. I am sure many of you out there must have heard about the tragic assassination of Amjad Sabri Sahab who was a well known and well respected musician who specialised in Sufi music. A radical faction of the Taliban have taken responsibility for his life claiming that he was not a Muslim and hence needed to be killed due to blasphemy. The prophet Muhammed (saw) was a peace loving human being. His heart was filled with kindness and compassion towards others. He respected everyone. How then can we as human beings run down or condemn another person's belief system. When you visit Makkatul mukarramah you will see millions of Muslims and everyone has their own variation of praying. Just because they pray differently to me does not mean that they are bad people and neither does it mean that I am superior over them. Sabri Sahab was a qawwal. He expressed his love for his Creator and the prophet Muhammad (saw) through poetry and music. And whilst many hardcore fanatics out there have condemned his way of devotion I am of the opinion that he probably had a deeper love and connection with his Lord than these merciless fanatics. A person who is close to his Lord will not murder and kill innocent people. When you get close to your Lord, Allah softens your heart. Who are we to judge or run down another human being when we are not sinless or faultless ourselves? If you don't agree with a person's belief system that's fine. Carry on with your own life. But don't condemn anyone. The irony is that his assassins have in actual fact given him a death in Ramadhaan whereby the doors of paradise will be open for him. The fact that he was shot makes him a shaheed. Our duty on earth is to do good and spread good. We are not here to label people. Take the good from every person that you meet and discard the bad.Always ask Allah to give you eyes that enable you to see the good in others. This is the essence and the basis of Islam. It is such a perfect, practical religion that is followed by imperfect, impractical followers. ......

A tribute to my beloved grandmother- 1936- 2016

19 June 2016

Dear blog readers,

First and foremost from the bottom of my heart I would like to thank each and everyone of you for your warm wishes and prayers during this trying time. Thank you for the messages and phone calls. As I try putting pen to paper I find myself stuck for words. There's a hundred and one thoughts going through my mind right now. Where do I begin. Nanima has always had a history of cardiac issues. For the last three years now she has always been in hospital over the ramadhaan period. We would actually tease her about it saying, " Ma, if you need a holiday please tell us but don't book yourself in hospital year after year". She would respond by laughing. This year when she got admitted we thought that as usual she would be in hospital for a week or two. But a week became a month, a month became two months and soon nanimas life was confined to a small hospital cubicle. In her own words she said, " I have no home. I live in a box". There were days when she felt better and gave us all a ray of hope and there were days when we tried convincing ourselves that the end is near. The most painful part was watching her waste away. There were days when she told us that she would like to live longer for the sake of her great grand children and there were days when she said that she was tired of living. She needed to leave.

To the doctors and staff at the NETCARE Sunninghill CCU unit, words can not express my gratitude and respect that I have for all of you especially to sister Charlene and her team and ofcourse Dr.Ganchi. You have restored my faith in humanity. You have restored my faith in the medical fraternity in this country. You were all at my grandmother's bedside as she took her last and final breath. You accommodated our family and friends and gave us the much needed space we all required. You treated my grandmother as though she was your own and hence I could feel and sense the sadness that all of you felt within. You fought till the end to save her life trying everything in the book but of course God Almighty is the custodian of life and death. To Dr Jeffery King, Dr Hsu and Dr Deseta thank you all for attending to my grandmother during her sporadic visits at hospital. Thank you for taking our calls at odd hours and making my grandmother's life a top priority. May God bless and reward all of you in abundance.

It is said that when the angel of death comes knocking at your door to take away your soul it is quite a painful ordeal. Some people are in constant agony moaning and groaning and yet my nanima experienced nothing of that sort. As she layed in bed staring in one corner of the room whilst we all held her hands she simply stopped breathing. No sound, no movement. With absolute ease her soul left her body. There was a smile on her face, an unexplainable glow.Finally she was in eternal peace.

As I stare at my beloved nanimas photo I can not help but reflect on her life. Passing away in Ramadhaan is auspicious for a Muslim. It is said that only the fortunate ones pass on in this month. A person who passes away in Ramadhaan is safeguarded from punishment and the gates of paradise are open for them. Nanima knew her end was near. Over the last few days she was talking about her parents and her home town Newcastle. Ironically some of the nursing staff who took care of her were also from Newcastle. Newcastle has a suburb called Paradise and so the nursing staff would tell her that they going to take her straight to Paradise. Sometimes nanima use to point to the window saying that she could see a garden with yellow flowers and a bench. She could see her grandmother jumping with joy. Of course we thought that it was her medication that was causing her to speak in riddles. She was speaking the truth. She could see her abode.

Why did nanima pass away in Ramadhaan? I'll tell you why. She was a friend of God Almighty. She was simple yet she was super intelligent.She wasn't materialistic at all. She was an awesome cook and very creative with her hands. You couldn't beat her when it came to sewing, needle work.. embroidery. Ma was an avid reader. She was an ardent fan of radio 702. There were times when mum and I were unaware of an incident but Ma knew. A few weeks ago when she was still able to speak she kept on saying, " You must be clever. You must be sharp in life. You mustn't be stupid". She always pushed us and encouraged us towards academic excellence.

Nanima hailed from a wealthy family yet she married my nana who was a simple middle class man. Her initial stage of marriage was very hard. Nana earned a meagre salary but Ma made an effort to earn extra money. She would make coconut ice cubes and peanut brittle along with a variety of other sweets and chocolates to sell to the school kids. She had an old coal stove in her kitchen and everyday she would have to light it in order to cook. But she never complained. She had patience. And through her patience she was rewarded. She was a quiet soul. She never fought with anyone neither did she speak ill of anyone. She hated gossiping. She wouldn't mind anyone's business. She never ran in and out of her neighbours homes yet she was always there if someone needed help. She loved family and she hated arguing and fighting. She would always tell us that we must all live nicely and lovingly with each other. Nanima and i shared a very special relationship. I was the first born grand child. I lived with her for a few months after I was born. I stayed with her whilst at university as well. She wasn't my nani, she was more like a mother. Almost everyday we spoke to each other on the phone. The day we opened the pharmacy she was the happiest person making sure that she arrived on time for lunch. She was so proud of my brother and I. She loved coming to the pharmacy always saying a prayer as she left. May Allah grant this business with lots of blessings and may it be a source of comfort for all those people who are ill. May Allah accept her prayers. May Allah give us the strength to run the business for many years to come in the interest of the community. On a monthly basis she would contribute money to the hampers we make for the elderly. As a child she played with me, she was there for me for all my school events and up until she got ill she made sure she attended her great grandchildren's sporting events. How I wish I could do so much more for my nanima. How I wish I could see her smile one last time. But wishing is all I can do. Death is so final. A journey we will all be embarking on one day. A journey where no one ever returns to tell the tale.

Yesterday as I sat next to her body staring at her face with tears rolling down my cheeks, family and friends tried consoling mom and I saying, " Don't be sad. Ma is in a better place.How fortunate she is" .. Yes, indeed she is finally in a place of peace but the void and emptiness that she has left within us will remain with us forever and ever and ever.I humbly request all of you to please say a little prayer for her.

A home where angels reside

8 June 2016

So this morning I was unable to get to work on time due to the protests on Main Reef road. I feel sick hearing that rocks and stones were thrown at passing vehicles causing extensive damage. I don't understand the mentality of some of the Black people in this country. Maybe I need to be enlightened. Why do innocent people have to get into the mix if you have an issue with the government. What do you gain by destroying someone else's property? 
Anyway I told myself instead of being irritated let me start my day on a good positive note and indeed it turned out to be a really productive day. I enjoyed some quality time with mom. Every week mom has this big concern of making food and vegetable hampers for the residents of an old age home in Florida.She manages to put together these hampers through the donations of friends, family and some patients as well. I never really understood the magnitude of the task and how time consuming it really is to put the hampers together until today. What I really admire about mom is that she makes these hampers on a weekly basis with a smile. My parents have always said that by giving others, God Almighty grants the home with lots of mercy and blessings. Running a business is not easy. It's damn hard work and when month end arrives the stress sets in. But what I've noticed is that somehow God Almighty always helps us get through the month. It actually surprises me. I think it's all because of mom's good work. This evening a patient came to the pharmacy looking for dad to thank him for changing his life for the better. The young man was involved with drugs. He resided on the streets. He discarded his family and friends. About 2 years ago, dad sat him down and knocked some sense into him. Two years later with God's grace and guidance the man has changed his life 360 degrees. I am so proud to have parents that have a heart and compassion for humanity. I am so fortunate to be born into a home where angels reside. Dear Lord, I beseech Thee to grant my parents good health and a long life filled with blessings. Dear Lord have mercy on my parents as they get older. Make their old age easy for them. Grant them a comfortable life of wealth, peace and prosperity.Allow me to always be a coolness to their eyes. Let them be pleased with me at all times.Let me always be there for them as their strength and support.Dear Lord, forgive me and my parents for our shortcomings, grant us paradise the day we leave this world. And unite our souls in the hereafter. AMEEN!

Life has no guarantees

A few days ago whilst browsing the internet, I came across a post whereby a young woman wrote that she has been receiving proposals from many men, however they are mediocre proposals from middle class families and she does not wish to be a mother running around the house with 5 snotty kids. She desires to marry a rich man who will provide her with a cook and nanny and who takes her abroad on holidays. In yet another bizarre post a Muslim mom suggested that her 27 year old daughter starts wearing more open clothing in order for her to attract men and get married. 
I personally found both posts to be absolutely ridiculous. To the young woman who feels the need to marry a rich man, she is clearly living her life in a bubble. I personally think that she is wet behind the ears and should not get married. Here is a classic example of why marriages do not work out. Young women out there expect their lives to be straight out of a Bollywood movie and yet the stark reality is totally contrary to a romantic movie scene. My advise to this young woman is this, why become dependent on a man. Live your own dreams. Go out there, study, earn your own money and reach for the stars. Life has absolutely no guarantees and within my scope of practice I see this everyday. A good friend of mine got married 10 years ago. At the time he got married, he was leading a high flying life and naturally his wife had a queens life. The day his dad got ill and their company went insolvent, his wife left him. So did she love him and marry him because of the person he is or did she only marry him for money. A good couple of years ago my life crossed paths with a young couple from Cape Town. They were only married for a week wen tragedy struck. They were on their way to the airport to catch a plane to Russia. The young woman was from Russia and so her South African husband decided to move to her country of birth as she was not very comfortable residing here. In the accident, the car blew up and whilst the young man managed to escape the blaze of the fire, the young woman was burnt beyond recognition. He blonde, long hair was no more and she was disfigured for life. She stayed in hospital for almost a year undergoing many operations and procedures. She was suicidal. The most heartbreaking part of the story is that after six months of being at her bedside, her husband disappeared never to return. In a letter that he wrote to her, he mentioned that he finds her revolting and the fact that she is no longer beautiful is not good for his image. Did he marry her for love and the person that she is on the inside or did he marry her for her beauty. When her beauty faded he ran away. Last week I met a young man, who was diagnosed with a rare form of Parkinsons a few months ago. His wife and family walked out on him. Did she marry him for his heart and the person he is on the inside... Definitely not.....The moral of the story is that life has no guarantees. We all need to aspire to build our own dreams. You can not make your dreams come true through someone else's hard work. Life does not work that way. To the mother who thinks her daughter needs to start dressing openly in order to attract men, I am of the opinion that this is a very dangerous stance on her part. Is this mother so desperate to get her daughter married? Has her own daughter become a burden to her.God Almighty has written out each and everyone's destiny the day we were born. Wearing open clothing will not guarantee marriage. In fact it will only attract men who are simply in a relationship for a fling with a sexily clad woman. Why should a woman change her style or personality to attract a man? Be yourself, be natural. Be proud of who you are. Be proud of your culture and tradition. If a man sincerely wishes to be with you, he must marry you with all your flaws and weaknesses. If he cant do that then he is just not worth it. Never, ever stoop down to another human being or change yourself for someone else. My dad has always taught me to walk with my head up high and face the world heads on. Motor ahead full steam to achieve your dreams because you are the only person that can shape your own destiny!