Saturday, November 1, 2014

Abida's Frail Care Centre

22 October 2014

I returned to the pharmacy a while ago shattered and heartbroken. My colleague and I cried inconsolably as we left aunty Abeida’s frail care centre earlier this afternoon. I have heard about the old age home and read articles about the good work aunty Abeida does but it is only after visiting the home myself did I realise the seriousness of the situation and how strong minded a person has to be in order to look after 17 old people. Aunty Abeida and her caregivers look after the elderly with a smile day in and day out but only they know what they going through on a daily basis. I have no words to praise the love and dedication that she shows towards the elderly. Her paradise is truly made in this world.
When a family friend passed by the pharmacy last week telling us that the facility requires donations in order to survive and continue, my colleague and I decided that we were going to visit the frail care centre ourselves. I got mom to make some cupcakes and cookies and off we went this morning. There are two homes, one for the males and one for the females. The home where the females are living belongs to aunty Abeida. She converted her home into a frail care centre. In the past she use to also reside in the same home. But now due to space issues, she has moved out into a flat that she rents. Arriving at the home, we were greeted by aunty Abeida and the well trained care givers.
Then we walked into the lounge where the women were sitting watching television. Zee Tv seemed to be their favourite channel. Whilst there was a fake smile on their faces, their eyes were filled with an inner sadness. Dorianne and I greeted all of them and we then decided to have tea with them. Over a cup of tea, they each had a turn to talk about themselves. They felt happy that someone was giving them a hearing, someone actually cared and bothered to visit them. As we heard their stories, Dorianne and I broke down literally. We tried hiding our tears, but we couldn’t. They wanted to be hugged, touched...All they crave for is a little bit of love. Our hearts broke when I was confronted by a frail middle aged lady asking me if I’m here to take her home with me. I smiled and told her that I will take you soon to my home for lunch or a picnic. She held Dorianne’s hand and then she broke down, “Why did my children do this to me? After everything I did for them why do I deserve to be here?”
What shocked me most was the fact that many of these women were from well known wealthy families. I was quite disturbed to hear that the one woman is actually the mother of a well known Muslim television presenter. The man is always on his high horse acting proud and full of himself on television. He is always at every charity and community event and yet he and his family have dumped his mother in the old age home and have never visited her in years. The poor 88 year old woman is dying inside from pain and hurt. She told me that every day she watches her son on television. She becomes so emotional that sometimes she walks towards the television and hugs it as though she is hugging her son. Having known this gentleman on a personal level, I have lost all respect for this man and his family. With all the knowledge and education that he has, how can anyone be so heartless towards their own mother? It is because of his mother’s prayers that he is where he is today. The saddest part about the whole thing is that when aunty Abeida calls the family to ask her for funding to look after their mom they always have excuses. They never have money yet they are the big shots at every community event. They keep on telling her that the money is in the account yet it is never transferred. Aunty Abeida showed us text messages as well as financial statements related to the frail care centre. An animal has more feelings for their siblings and parents then these bastard children who have no shame to dump their own flesh and blood in an old age home for someone else to look after their parents.

There was one lady from Roshni. She also hails from a well known wealthy family and her daughterin laws have refused to look after her yet these same tarts are looking after their own mother’s. A few of the lady’s were never married and so they always resided in their parent’s home. When their parents died, their brothers literally threw them out of the house wanting the house for themselves or for their kids. The one lady hailed from a wealthy family residing in Laudium.
Almost everyone there had a sad story to tell. Last week apparently a gentleman in a sports Audi rocked up at the old age home. He simply got off of the car and dumped packets of nappies into the caregiver’s hands for his mom. His mother was a few meters away from him but the asshole did not look at his mother, neither did he greet her. Her heart was shattered. She was heartbroken.
After spending time with the ladies, we bid them farewell and made our way to the frail care home for the men. At present there are eight men living in the house. The rental at the house is R12 000 per month. At present it is Aunty Abeida’s biggest concern. She requires funding and donations to be able to sustain both the homes. In addition to the rent, she needs to pay her staff, buy their chronic medication as well as buy groceries, nappies etc. Her salary bill is in the region of R35 000 per month.


At the men’s home, we were welcomed by old middle aged men basking in the morning sun. They all had their own life stories yet they appeared more happy and jovial than the women. They begged us to join them for a cup of tea and when we decided to leave they insisted that we make a promise to visit them again. The one gentleman’s story broke my heart. It reminded me of the story “Bhaagban.” The children separated their parents. The man resides in the old age home simply because his wife is too old and sickly herself to look after him. She resides alone in a flat in town. Their children do not wish to have anything to do with them. Another man hailed from Mpumalanga and when he recently got critically ill, it took his family two days to come to Jozi to visit him. Aunty Abeida thought the man was dying. When his family returned home, they sent aunty Abeida an email telling her that if he dies, she must go ahead and bury the man. She must not wait for them to arrive.
A few months ago there was an sms circulating by a moulana who visited the frail care centre. The only thing the man sadly noticed was the fact that the elderly are looking at zee tv and that Islamic channels and radio stations needs to be introduced into the home. DSTV has Islamic channels and radio but the elderly love watching zee tv. It doesn’t mean that if you old you are suddenly dead. You are still alive and kicking. You still have dreams. You still allowed song and dance. You still allowed entertainment. I am surprised at how narrow minded this moulana is. Did he not notice that these people are in dire need of love and tender loving care? Did he not notice that they require paint on their room walls and a bigger garden space to enjoy the sunshine. On the topic of Moulana’s I was shocked to hear that another well known preacher’s son took a loan from aunty Abeida years ago when he was in financial difficulties. Years have passed by and the man refuses to return the money. When aunty Abeida approached his father, a respected preacher who talks about halaal and haraam etc on television, preaching night and day to the whole world, she gets told a mouthful. “My son will commit suicide because of you. He does not have the money. He will pay you on his time”. She asked for the money not for herself but to continue sustaining and maintaining the frail care centre.
At present the two homes are located quite a distance apart from each other and it is becoming increasingly difficult for aunty Abeida to manage both homes. She is looking for a premises whereby all 17 people can be accommodated under one roof with a big garden area outside. This is where the Christian and Jewish communities beat us by far. They have proper frail care facilities with their own ambulance services etc. The old people are entertained throughout the day. Why can’t the Muslim community do the same? Muslim business owners need to get together and embark on this kind of a project as soon as possible. There is a dire need for it now. The team at Medix pharmacy have pledged our support to aunty Abeida’s frail care centre and we will assist wherever we can.
As I type this short account of my visit to the frail care centre, the tears continue to roll down my cheeks. To the public and youth out there who are reading this article, I am not urging you but rather I am begging you to visit the home. These old people are longing for love and care. Stop by with some goodies and take a few minutes to chat to them. Crack a few jokes with them. Make them happy. Show them that they are still loved, valued and cared for. Make them feel special. Go pick them up and take them to your home for an afternoon lunch or a picnic at the zoo lake. They don’t go anywhere coz aunty Abeida does not have a minibus vehicle. She only has a car.
I am truly blessed to have been raised by parents who have always welcomed anyone and everyone to our home who required help and assistance whether they were friends or family. By helping someone else and by visiting the elderly, God Almighty opens up our doors in ways that you cannot imagine. He engulfs our own home with blessings, joy and happiness.
To the kids of these middle aged men and women this is my message to you:
Whilst I pray for you and hope that God Almighty changes your evil wicked dirty hearts towards your parents, I also feel pity and sorry for you. Why, because God sees the pain inside the hearts of these old men and women. He sees the hurt and you know what, in the same way that you have hurt your parents, Gods punishment will strike you one day but ten times worst. I have not realised that such despicable human beings exist on this earth until today. At the same time, I thank Allah for opening my eyes and softening my heart towards humanity. After today’s experience I will only strive to be a better human being towards everyone around me especially my parents who have sacrificed their lives for my happiness. I love you mom and dad with all my heart and it is only because of your prayers and hard work that I am who I am today.

If you wish to make a donation to aunty Abeida's frail care centre kindly contact her at: 082 554 0223



23 September 2014


I would like thank those facebook friends who have taken the liberty to contact aunty Abeida and offer their assistance to her after reading the article that was posted yesterday. May Allah reward all of you in abundance. There are a few other points I forgot to mention. The kids of these frail men and women have the nerve to come to the frail care centre and make their parents sign off their belongings to them under duress. I think it may be a good idea if a lawyer visits the home to lend a helping hand when it comes to these issues. These old people are also entitled to their own pension money. The kids need to bring that pension money to their parents. It is so disgusting to think that whilst these rich kids with their wives are enjoying a life of luxury, their parents do not even have a medical aid. These asshole children refuse to get their parents onto a proper medical aid facility. I can not believe that you get women out there who come from low class homes, then marry into wealthy families and before you know it they call the shots, throwing the queen of the home on the street. It tells me a lot about the upbringing of these kind of women. Their aim and goal in life is to acquire wealth, name, fame and money.. But the day the tables turn, I feel these women really sorry. I would also like to clarify and put an end to the false rumours that have been making rounds with regards to Abeidas frail care centre. There are gossip mongers in the community who can not do anything for another human being and yet find it perfectly alright to slander those people who are trying their level best to do good towards others. When aunty Abeida expanded the frail care centre by acquiring another home to house the men, there was a rumour flying around saying that through all the donations she acquires she has bought another house for herself. She is gone rich and abusing funds. How can you slander and accuse someone of doing wrong without finding out the facts. I seen the facts yesterday in black and white. The home that is used to house the men, belongs to a woman by the name of Sharifa and aunty Abeida has to pay a monthly rental of R12 000. I hope this information will now put that rumour to rest once and for all and shut the mouths of aunty Abeida's critics.