Thursday, April 20, 2017

Free speech verses religion

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Picture taken from vimeo.com


April 17th, 2017

And now this, "You should be ashamed to be taking pictures with Sonu Nigam after his anti Muslim tweets. As a Muslim woman you are a disgrace to society for being associated with him considering that you are from a family that has many aalims and haafith."
I wanted to refrain from commenting on this issue. But I think I now need to voice my opinion as I am now being attacked on a personal level. First and foremost it is absolutely cowardice to message someone from a fake profile. If you wish to tell me something have the guts to say it without hiding your damn identity.
So I woke up this morning with twitter going crazy with regards to Sonu Nigam's controversial comments on a public platform. Whilst I was initially taken aback by his bold choice of words, would we as Muslims have reacted in the same way, if he complained about the sound of Church bells ringing or if he was irritated with the sound of early morning bhajans at a mandhir. Would we have made a noise with equal enthusiasm calling for religious tolerance or would we have not reacted at all. Why do we as Muslims have to react about every comment or statement that is made about our religion or religious practices. He resides in a democratic country where he has a right to voice his own opinion in the same way that I have a right to voice my opinion by stating that I was livid hearing the sound of horns emanating from a mandhir adjacent to our hotel in Mumbai a few years ago in the early parts of the morning as it was disturbing my sleep. Does it make me anti Hindu. Hell no. So why does his comment suddenly make him anti Muslim? A close friend of mine residing in India text me this morning about this issue and this is what he said, " As a Muslim, I fully support Sonu's stance. The high court in Mumbai has passed a law stating that there should be no athaan and bhajans from 10pm until 6am, yet there are masjids in our locality and temples that continue with their prayers on a loud speaker illegally defying the court ruling. I am surrounded by many masjids and sometimes the muazzins in these masjids literally have a competition with each other as to who makes the longest athaan or the loudest athaan or the best sounding athaan. This is not Islam. Islam and our beloved Prophet Muhammed (saw) does not condone the practice of disturbing others. We are encouraged to always follow the laws of a country and abide by them. We are not residing in a Muslim country. We need to accept this. I think he should have condemned noise pollution across the board targeting all religious groups rather than just signalling the athaan only. I do however fully understand his sentiments totally"
Why the bloody hypocrisy. For decades scholars have been debating the use of loudspeakers in Islamic countries. There are many suburbs in the Middle East where the athaan is not said over loudspeakers or it is said over a loudspeaker that is governed and regulated in terms of decibel levels. Even in Morocco whilst I was there, there was constant debate with regards to the calls to prayer via a loudspeaker. If there are many masjids in close proximity should all of them recite the athaan over the loudspeaker or will one athaan suffice for the entire neighbourhood? How loud should the athaan be in terms of decibel levels etc etc etc Why then have the Muslim community not come out guns blazing. There are many Muslim scholars in the Middle East who have suggested that the calls to prayer be regulated so as not to disturb the elderly or people following other religious faiths. I know of a Muslim family residing in Bahrain who complained to the authorities with regards to the call to prayer at fajr time as their home was right next to the mosque and their dad was a cancer patient who disliked noise. The sound was way over the recommended decibel levels. The authorities took their complaint into consideration and action was taken.Nowadays we have technology at our fingertips. We can listen to the athaan on our mobile phones and also through Athaan receivers in our homes without disturbing our neigbours. Islam is a religion of peace and tolerance and hence instead of displaying a mentality of tit for tat, we should be the one's accommodating to the needs of others. Is Mr. Nigam anti Muslim, NO he isn't. If he was he would not have learned music from a Muslim ustaath who he has revered and looked up to all his life, Muhammed Rafi Sahab would not have been his hero and idol and neither would he have maintained a 17 year long friendship with me. If he was anti-Muslim he would not choose to have a Muslim personal trainer, his drivers would not be Muslim and neither would his barber be Muslim. An anti Muslim person would not allow Muslims to pray salaah in their home either.Just to set the record straight, if I hail from a family that has many haafith and aalims that's great. All praises are due to the Almighty. But at the same time I was brought up in a home where we were allowed to explore other peoples cultures and faiths. I am proud to have friends from all over the world hailing from different socio- economic and religious backgrounds. We Muslims are a nation filled with hypocrisy. We are unable to tolerate practices of our fellow Muslims. We have created sectarianism and allowed religious intolerance to rear its ugly head within the banner of Islam. Yet we expect other nations and religious groups to adopt and have religious tolerance towards us. Knowing the person that he is, I am of the opinion that he returned home really exhausted and when he was woken up by the sound of the athaan he suddenly went on a rant in a fit of anger or frustration. Whilst he is a superstar, at the end of it all he is a human being and like any other human being he has a side that gets upset and angry etc. I have seen the human side of him on many occasions and it has only led to constructive criticism and dialogue between us. Whilst Mr. Nigam has certainly got thousands of knickers in a twist, I would like to thank him for sparking debate and dialogue on a global scale. To the coward who inboxed me, the only person who is shameless here is YOU, not only for judging me but for assuming that I am less of a Muslim for taking pictures with a person who has been my friend for almost 2 decades. Your idiotic comment means squat to me dearest for only Allah alone is the the supreme Judge and only to Him do I answer to. Always remember whilst you quick at pointing a finger at me, there are four fingers pointing right back at you!

For those of you who are not aware of the ruling:

If the majority of the residents are non-Muslims who are objecting to
the Athaan over the loudspeaker, then the Athaan should be given
without a microphone. It is not a Shar’i requirement for the Athaan

to be recited on the loudspeaker.

Was-salaam

A.S.Desai

Mujlisul Ulama of S.A.



Perhaps the best comments I read with regards to the above topic is as follows:

"As a revert to the Islamic faith I am appalled and disgusted by the hate speech displayed by Muslims with regards to the Bollywood singer. Rather pray for the gentleman for the worst of people have been guided by God Almighty. A lot of Muslims are hypocrites. They will feel hurt and jump up in arms if something is mentioned about them yet when their own clerics spew hate speech against Jews and Christians no one stands up to condemn these actions. With regards to the athaan I lived in a neighbourhood where there were many masjids. Being a Muslim myself I use to be irritated with the fact that over 30 minutes there use to be 5 athaans and once again one masjid wanted to compete with the next in terms of loudness, not very courteous considering there was an old age home nearby... I felt that one athaan sufficed for the entire suburb.Correct me if I'm wrong but it's not compulsory for the athaan to be said on a loudspeaker..we should be encouraging good relationships with our neighbors..I believe his tweet was written in haste or anger straight after being woken up and has possibly been misinterpreted. Trust me if you are an insomniac like me the fight for sleep is real.
Remember I use to be Christian, so when I resided for a brief period of time in the Middle East I felt that forced religiousness was being imposed on me in terms of not being able to consume alcohol or eat pork for example. India has imposed forced religiousness to its citizens with regards to consuming beef. But that is the law of the country and you abide by it.. India is unique in a sense that its made up of a diversity of cultures and religions and whilst one needs to be extra careful with regards to your choice of words in order to prevent a religious war from igniting, you need to remember that due to corruption laws are never adhered to in India. In small localities you will find numerous masjids or mandhirs depending if it is a predominantly Muslim or Hindu locality and yes it becomes irritating when mandhirs and masjids compete with each other over a loudspeaker. The law is clear, no Hindu hymns, no church bells and no athaan from 9pm until 6am. Reading up more about the man at he centre of the controversy, why haven't Muslims come out in praise of his good deeds and charity work that he does not only for Hindu children but for thousands of Muslims kids in rural India. Why hasn't Muslims praised him for funding hundreds of kids with disabilities in India and in the Middle East many of whom are Muslims. Why hasn't anyone spoke about the love and respect he has for his Muslim teacher who is a fatherly figure in his life. There are hundreds of Muslims who listen to the athaan day in and day out and yet they do not pray. Their lives are empty without God in it but on social media they are quick to jump on the bandwagon and criticize a person who God can guide towards goodness one day. Islam has taught me to never ever look down upon anyone else or speak ill of them even if they are perceived as being wrong. To the Muslims who used vulgar language to defend their faith, two wrongs dont make a right. Would you be pleased to wake up at 4am everyday to the sound of blaring church bells and Sanskrit hymns in your bedroom in praise of a deity that does not fit in with your religious beliefs. If you alright with it that's great. But if not, I rest my case."


"I was Christian and I hated the sound of church bells blaring ding dong in my home. That however does not make me anti Christian. does it? Here's a video that I viewed sometime back. To all those Muslims who commented on the Bollywood singer fiasco, why haven't you as Muslims stood up in arms about such practices of spreading hate among other nations by brainwashing students which is a more serious issue than a silly tweet. Does Islam teach us to run down people of other faiths." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95GxhqjHZ3E"

Friday, March 31, 2017

Letter from a prisoner - The ladies prison

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                                                Picture taken from nicroinaction.co.za

Crime is not confined to any one race, culture, age or gender. Just across the road from my concrete home is a slightly smaller version of the prison I am in, but it houses something most male inmates miss- ladies.
There are around 300 ladies at any given time. The ladies prison has separate sections for awaiting trial, maximum and minimum sentenced inmates. There is also a section for mothers and their infants; whom they can keep until they are 3 years old.

The 2 prisons are only separated by 2 walls and a few fences. To me, it wouldn’t make a difference if the 2 were separated by light years but for some the ladies provide the motivation one needs in a place like this.
There is almost no possibility of meeting the ladies in person. The only time that there is limited possibility of meeting is when the ladies visit our hospital, as I understand their hospital is very basic.

Communication with the ladies is possible. Sending and receiving of letters is not only legal but efficient. This medium is the most popular. In their letters both male and female inmates will write about their friends who are also looking for ‘love;’ in this way the communication circle always grows.
Due to English being my first language, many inmates come to me to edit their letters or sometimes even write it for them. The letters are one of the rare mediums through which inmates truly express their feelings and by which they let down the guard we unconsciously keep on full alert.
Perhaps it is due to my conservative upbringing and Islamic background that I am constantly amazed at the brazenness and directness of the correspondence. After just a couple of letters, ‘love’ is expressed in the most endearing ways and promises of a blissful life together are elaborately detailed. I put it down to just another form of escapism.
For a brief period, I wrote to a lady who was doing a very short sentence for fraud. From what she conveyed, it seems that the way female prisons are portrayed in movies is pretty much the way it is in reality. Fighting, rape and contraband is far more common as compared to a male prison; especially considering the vast disparity in numbers. My communication ended the day she wanted to “take the relationship further.”

Another means of communicating is through “facebook.” Not the Facebook you know! The top floors of the prison buildings are enclosed by concrete walls which are lined with small holes (about 10 by 10 cm). One such wall faces directly at an identical wall of the female prison, about 150m away. Inmates on either side get the attention of their ‘partners’ by waving a sock in a specific way through the holes. Once they receive a reply signal they each wear a sock on one hand. The socked hand is visually clear from their vantage points. They communicate and often have sessions lasting for hours during which they spell out each word by signalling out the word letter by letter.
I have sat and watched and but too slow to make out the words but am told by the users that they love their means of communication. Each ‘couple’ also have unique ways of saying ‘”I love you,” and other short sayings; they even have ways of blowing kisses!
Cell-phones are also present in the ladies prison so some are able to be in touch through more conventional methods.
Whilst these means are effective; nothings compares to being face to face, looking into each other’s eyes and whispering sweet I love you’s. This is a difficult proposition but not impossible.
At the hospital there are male inmates who work as cleaners and assistants to the nurses or doctors. They make money by sneaking males into the hospital toilets when the ladies come for treatment.
Unfortunately for them, they are unable to be with the ladies. They can only hold hands and chat through the toilet windows which overlook a courtyard which works as the waiting room.

There is one male inmate who works in the reception area and he has access to pretty much anywhere in the prison without any escort. This is the only guy who I know of that actually gets more than a handshake. Rumour has it that he is in fact a gigolo who ensures some of the women get a lot more than medical treatment. It could possibly be true as the inmate he replaced recently got Aids.

In the recent past, more intimate opportunities were possible from what I heard albeit restricted by a fence. When male and female inmates took the dustbins out to the dumping area, they were engaging in sexual intercourse through the wired fence. Recent visitors to the prison have noted that new fences are being installed, with significantly smaller gaps.
Whilst I don’t feel that many, if any, of these relationships are based on true love, it is evident that love truly knows no bounds.

Thursday, March 9, 2017

Letter from a prisoner ---- My pied-a-terre


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                                                               Picture taken off the net

My Pied a Terre

Interaction with people from the free world is something that every inmate looks forward to. I thoroughly enjoy finding out about people I knew, places I frequented and events that I would have loved to attend. As much as I want to know about the happenings beyond the walls that imprison me, I generally do not get much time to be the questioner as everyone wants their own curiosities about prison satisfied.
The most common questions I am asked are with regard to; where I sleep/stay, what I eat, what I am allowed to have, what I do in all the time I have, is there violence, did anyone try to rape me and many more. As the images or ideas you probably have of prison, from watching TV shows and the media, is very different to the reality of the situation I will try to paint the real picture.
My 1512 days in prison thus far have been spread over 3 maximum security prisons. All 3 prisons are absolutely different, not only in their physical layouts but in every way imaginable. Currently, I am at a centre which is supposedly one of 4 national “Centre’s of Excellence;” due to the educational activities.
My home is a triple story building. It has 5 main wings, a hospital section, reception/visit area, kitchen and management offices. All the different sections are linked by a central walkway. Each of the 5 main wings house roughly 100 inmates over 2 floors. The wings or units as we call them have their own managers who oversee the day to day running of their units. Each unit has 2 courtyards; generally one is used for soccer and 1 for hanging washing. The units each also have a dining room, recreation room, washing room, store rooms, a managers’ office and 2 communal showers.

The unit I reside in consists of mainly tertiary students. Our recreation room is a library. We have 2 courtyards which are meticulously maintained. One courtyard is a grassed area bordered by plants. The other is broken into 3 sections; one sandy area for playing soccer, one for our fishpond and one for a vegetable garden. The inmates with green fingers put a great deal of effort into maintaining and frequently altering their meagre landscape.
Each floor of the unit is lined with 2, back-to-back, rows of cells. Between the cells is a maintenance area wherein all the piping and electrical wiring leads.
Prisons are actually relatively clean in general. Cleaning material is found in abundance (good tender to have!) and officials inspect regularly, ensuring decent standards of cleanliness. My section is thankfully the cleanest by a long way, due in no coincidence to the fact that it is the only section run by a white manager. He also ensures that there are actually fish in the fish pond. The communal areas are cleaned by inmates employed to do so twice a day. Cells are cleaned by their residents and inspected formally once a week.
The cells we stay in have one entrance accessed by an 8 cm thick steel door and solid steel gate. The door and gate are locked when the prison is closed every afternoon. During the day, inmates are allowed to lock their cells with their own padlocks. The door has a flap on it through which officials are able to look inside during the night, however this seldom happens.

The wall opposite to the door of the rectangular space is lined at eye level with windows. The sight through the windows is of the cell behind. The windows open a few centimetres before being restricted by a thick steel mesh. In summer the slight breeze through the open windows is a welcome relief, however in winter cold air finds its way in through the gaps left by windows unable to close properly.
The cell is 2.4 m long and 2.1 m wide. The floor and roof is bare concrete. The walls are made of brick and painted beige. We have some posters of dream cars and places that cover most of the drab paint. Lighting is provided by a central fitting with 2 fluorescent bulbs. The light is actually too bright for the small space so I have pasted paper over it to dim it slightly. Residents are able to determine when they want the lights on or off. The light switch is unfortunately outside of the cell. The only
way to manipulate the switch is through the flap on the door. One has to push a piece of broomstick through the flap and then hit at the switch. My coordination is not that great when I can see the target so trying to switch off the lights is a task I attempted once (for over an hour) and never again.
The other fittings in the cell are a toilet in one corner and a steel sink next to it; both under the windows. The toilet also doubles as a seat when the lid (a piece of plank) is down. The sink has a hot and cold water tap. In winter there is rarely hot water and in summer the hot water is boiling almost all day long. On the floor between the toilet and wall we keep a box for cleaning material. The prison provides green bar soap, dishwashing liquid soap, a Jeyes fluid rip off and ultra strong bleach. We also get brooms, toilet brushes and cloths.

One side of the cell is taken up by a double bunk bed and a locker. I sleep on the top bunk because the cell had one occupant when I arrived. My cellmate is serving a 20 year sentence for armed robbery and the plethora of charges that go with it. I am fortunate that we get along well. He is a dedicated student, spending many hours every day with his books. He takes schedule 6 sleeping tablets every night at around 7 pm, so by 8pm he is in dreamland until the next morning (and if he managed to get dagga then he wakes up by lunch). This gives me the liberty to do what I want without bothering my roomie at all.
We use our locker to store our foodstuff, kettle and iron. Clothing is stored under the bed in private kit-bags. Clothing that we want to wear the next day or not get creased is put on hangers and hung from a nail in the wall. I have nails all over to hang clothing, dishcloths, towels, keys and even one high up for my Qurans.
The wall opposite the bed is taken up by a desk (a typical school desk) and chair alongside a cabinet. There are only about 5 cabinets in the prison. The other cells only have desks. My cabinet cost me R100 which in prison is a lot of money, it was worth the every cent. My four shelves enable us to keep our books, tv, radio, 2 laptops, study lamp, toiletries other and odds and ends rather neatly. Without the cabinet we would have to use boxes.

Living out of boxes would not cut it, especially when I live on Millionaires row. The row of cells that I live in earned this name because the inmates living here are ones who all have tv’s and computers. We also put money together to pay for extra cleaning of our corridor and have plants lining our corridor. Most of my neighbours are ex-celebs, high profile fraudsters or cash in transit hijackers. Our row also has a view over the lawn and pond; and in the distance civilization. And if anyone is interested in moving into one of the penthouses, they are very rare and cost a hefty R200. Even in prison property is all about location, location, location!

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

A short weekend getaway

1st March, 2017

Over the last few days my family and I decided to spend a few days at our beach apartment located in the picturesque, quaint little town of Margate. I am not a fan of Durban city and Umhlanga. It is not my ideal holiday destination as it is merely a concrete jungle. I prefer getting away from the city appreciating the peace and quiet that nature has to offer. The Durban south coast area is definitely an area worth visiting. The area is undoubtedly a photographers paradise made up of unspoiled beaches coupled with lush vegetation and greenery.Despite the rainy weather, my family and I made sure that we took a drive to the beautiful Lake Eland game reserve that boasts a variety of activities for the entire family, such as zip-lining, hiking, walking over the suspension bridge and much, much more.

The drive to the game reserve is absolutely breathtaking, passing through waterfalls, rivers and forests. "The Oribi Gorge is situated along the spectacular forest-cloaked ravine of the Mzimkulwana river west of Port Shepstone. Oribi Gorge is the western of two gorges that cut through the Oribi Flats (flat sugarcane farmlands). The Gorge, as seen from the Caves and the Suspension Bridge, was formed when large quantities of water from Central Africa cascaded down the ravine, gouging through the sandstone mountains. It spans an area 27km long, 4km wide in places and 400m deep. The vertical sides of the Gorge are made up of Natal series sandstone layers. The slopes down to the river are granite. Two types are evident: pink Oribi Gorge granite, and charnokite which is dark green in colour and can be seen in the river bed."

Waking up in the morning to the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks is a totally surreal experience. After enjoying a morning jog on the beach soaking up the fresh crisp air, it is so refreshing to head back to the apartment just in time for a delicious breakfast followed by a walk down town meeting up with the locals. In the afternoon we enjoy driving along the coast to the famous Mac Banana farm stall. Their pancakes and waffles are simply divine; awesome for my taste buds but not for my hips.... lolol.... I guess that's what a holiday is all about. Breaking away from routine is refreshing and energizing. I need to do this more often.......

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Wednesday, February 8, 2017

"O jealousy! thou magnifier of trifles"

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                                                     Picture taken from LoveThisPic

Salam

"You don't know me. We have not met but I do follow your posts on a weekly basis. Interesting posts on your wall.Seen you at a wedding last year. You definitely looked like a celebrity outshone the bride. Seen you at a concert sometime back also. The singer even called out your name a few times. Gues you were a VIP.Sure you were on cloud nine.Pity that you not married. I have the reason too. Most of the divorces nowadays are due to your type of women, High flying women who want to be men. No man wants to marry a high maintenance lady...fancy clothes.. tip top make up. Designer shoes. In your case a lady who is in the spotlight as well. Lets face tje facts. You very beautiful yet you single. There has to be a problem. Men prefer simple girls who can live within their means and who are content with the income their husbands earn. A woman's responsibility is her home and a man's responsibility is to be the breadwinner. You may disagree but this is my personal opinion. No muslim family will accept your feminist ideas."

This is what I woke up to this morning. To the lady who sent me this message from a fake profile I presume as I'm unable to access the profile, I'd like to say the following.

Thank you very much for reading my posts and giving me importance by acknowledging my presence at functions and events. The concert you attended was probably at Sun city and the singer and I have a very special connection. I love him with all my heart, always have and always will. I treasure the 17 year old friendship that we share so yes I was on cloud nine as he made me feel special as his friend. I value him for his pure heart and exemplary character. He is not only my friend but my mentor too. His advice is filled with goodness and wisdom.

I'm sorry to burst your bubble but I was brought up to reach for the stars and beyond. I will not settle for mediocrity and i will not marry a man that I will have to support or look after either. Life for me is a race against time.It is a race to achieve as much as I possibly can before I leave this world. To meet as many people as I can.. to travel to as many countries as I possibly can. Most divorces are not due to feminism but rather due to men who do not know how to treat their women as per Islamic principles and teachings. It is all about enforcing a strong patriarchal ideology which is not a part of Islam.Drugs and other social issues plays an important role as well. It takes two to tango and hence divorce is usually culminated due to flaws and weaknesses that are innate in both individuals.Today's men are lazy.Most women nowadays are educated and know their rights. When a person knows their rights they become a threat to others. When a person prospers in life they become a threat to others. Please don't feel pity on me for not being married. I think we all need to feel pity for those women who are tied up in marriages simply for the sake of their kids. Yet everyday they are unhappy suffering in silence. They are so dependent on their partners that they can not leave despite being abused verbally or physically on a daily basis.They need to play the role of wife, mother, breadwinner etc etc simply because their husbands are too lazy to provide for them. Alhamdulilla a million times over, my Lord has been so good to my family and I. I never envisaged having a life filled with so much of contentment and happiness.I couldn't possibly ask my Lord for more. Here's a small bit of advise, " jealousy destroys good deeds in the same way fire destroys wood" The next time you see me at a function please do come over to say hi. Who knows, a bit of my 'wow factor' might just rub off onto you. Juma mubarak and have yourself a blessed day. :)

Friday, January 27, 2017

So who's the big shot I got married to?

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                                                    (Picture take from Pinterest)

I am proud to say that through our Facebook page and whatsapp service we receive on average 50 inbox messages a day. It is so rewarding to assist others without wanting anything in return. However, sometimes people don't know where to draw the line. There are occasions when patients request for my personal mobile number as a family member is terminally ill and they feel they have someone to call in the case of an emergency. I really don't mind that. But when a patient or family member starts getting all romantic and crude on whatsapp that's when I switch off completely. On average I receive around 100 inbox messages a day on my personal facebook profile and whilst I love replying to all messages I am deeply saddened by some of the messages I receive from so called well known Muslim men who think that a woman is nothing more than a sex object..
' Hi hun. Surprised that you still single. What a waste of prettiness. What a shame.You obviously missing out on the oolala stuff. If you wanna get hitched. Drop me a text. We take it from there.i am married though and bisexual
' Hello. SLMZ. My wife can't have kids. Looking for a surrogate. Take note that the child will belong to her and me. You only needed to make a child basically."
'Hey doll. Never seen such a gorgeous lassie before. Striking eyes and lips. So I'm in Cape Town. Come to egoli twice a month for business. Let's hook up for some adult fun. In simple terms I'm happily married but my wife bores me. She won't know about our fling. All she needs is money, spoiling and pampering and she's cool. Drop me a text if you want to try.'
' Can I clarify something. Heard you lived in Saudi. Heard you were married to a big shot there and then divorced your hubby and returned home. How come you not married. You quite good looking'
It makes me sad that these are the kind of Muslim men within our society. I feel pity and sorry for the women in their lives. Their poor women don't know what their husbands are up to behind their backs. So why am I not married? I'll tell you why. I'm not married because I do not want to live my life being dictated to, being told what to do and where to go.Who I can share a cup of coffee with and who I can't. I am not married because men within my community are intimidated by successful women who lead their lives by their own rules. They are afraid of women who know their rights. I am not married because i wont allow a man or his family to stop me from working and serving others.I am not married because I will not allow anyone to treat me inferiorly due to my caste or where I hail from in India. Does it bother me that I'm not married.Definitely not. Oops I'm still trying to figure out who was I married to in Saudi. If someone out there knows please inbox me lolol. As I was saying whether I'm married or not makes no difference to me at all. Not everyone in life is cut out to join the marriage club.Society makes it seem though that if you not married you haven;t attained exclusive membership to this club.Well to hell with membership. I will not marry just to please society. To hell with society and people. Everyone's purpose on this earth is different. Alhamdulilla Allah has granted me the best family and parents in the world. I have been blessed with so much that I have to grateful night and day for whatever I have and I couldn't possibly ask for more.My beloved parents gave me wings to fly from a very young age. I certainly will not allow an outsider to clip them. To the men who want to merely have a fling with me, shame on all of you. You choose to respect the women of your family whilst willing to tarnish the reputation of a muslim sister. All of you know who you are. How utterly disgusting? My advise to all of you is this, God has granted you a wife, a life partner and kids. Honour your wife. Value her and appreciate her. Become good role model fathers. Why do you want to wreak havoc in your marital home. Why do you want to break hearts and hurt others. Will your Lord be pleased with you when you leave this world?...And No I don't do friends with benefits....Go try your luck elsewhere.