Boob smackers or Eye flirters

 

           http://www.clickrally.com/saudi-women-right-to-vote-first-time/ - Picture

"Phew.....Saudi women are dangerous" he muttered to himself whilst making his way through the main entrance of the pharmacy. Mr. H is a tall, broad shouldered man with an extremely high level of intelligence. He also happened to be my witty colleague and partner in crime during our night shift duty at the hospital.

" Excuse me, why do you think that Saudi women are dangerous.Any woman can be a femme fatale if she wishes to be one." I remarked.
' Well, I just got sandwiched in between two boob smackers in the lift" He continued with a huge grin on his face. According to Mr. H Saudi women can be divided into four categories:

1. Category one: The Ultra conservative Saudi woman.

This is a Saudi woman that is fully covered from head to toe in a huge over sized jilbaab. Gloves and socks usually complete the attire. In many instances the eyes are also not fully exposed....The woman would most probably be married to an extremely religious man as well.

2. Category two: The Boob/ Ass smackers

These are usually voluptuous full figured Saudi women adorned in tight fitting abayas naturally exposing all the curves... These women prefer to walk with their bosoms out to tempt desperate Saudi men or let's just say men in general.

3. Category three: The eye flirters

These are women who are adorned in abayas with a face veil but make sure that they leave theirs home with elaborate, striking eye make up. These women painstakingly go to great lengths to make sure that their eyes look super sexy and gorgeous with eye shadow, eye liner,fake eye lashes and of course coloured contact lenses . Some of these women call in a professional make up artist to their homes even on a normal week day prior to going out shopping at a mall or frequenting a restaurant with friends. I guess its a case of ' let the eyes do the talking'

4. Category four: The frustrated young housewife

This is usually a Saudi woman who is in a polygamous relationship and thus shares her husband with two or three other women.She is also most probably the newest addition to hubby's collection of wives lol. She is smart and trendy and makes sure that her wealthy hubby spoils her with designer wear. Since she hardly spends much time with mister, she chooses to look for fun else where, a case of " when the cats away the mice will play." This type of woman will be out frequenting hotels, coffee shops,hospitals and malls trying to seek pleasure and satisfaction from a young Saudi male who is more or less in the same age category as her.

Well, there you have it folks; a non- Saudi male's perception of Saudi women. I must admit I was laughing myself into stitches as he babbled along jovially trying to explain each category to me...
Oh well, working with such fun individuals always made the night shift a less painful experience. As the saying goes, ' Time flies when you're having fun.'

DIVORCING SAUDI STYLE - Part 2

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Staying on the theme of divorce, after reading the article I posted a few days ago many of you out there felt pity for Saudi women as they seemed to be the poor victims whilst Saudi men took on the character of being the dominant villains. Sorry to burst your bubble folks but this scenario is definitely not true. As I mentioned earlier there is always two sides to a story. Let us now examine some of the weird and bizarre reasons why a Saudi woman would divorce her husband. Whilst surfing the internet I once again came across some really hilarious articles.

A wife put an end to her husband’s romantic conduct when she filed for divorce after he kissed her in front of their children, Riyadh daily reported.

According to the wife, for years she had suffered from her husband’s overrated romance. She said that she had warned him many times not to be over romantic with her in front of the kids.For five years, she said, she had condoned his behavior, until he kissed her recently in front of the children again. She then filed for divorce.

"A Saudi Arabian woman filed for divorce after her new husband left her at an airport because shed been on the toilet for too long. The couple were returning from their honeymoon in Malaysia when he returned home from Kuala Lumpur airport because she had been in the bathroom for too long. Im not sure how long constitutes too long and an acceptable reason to leave without her."

After 30 years of marriage, cynics might say most husbands and wives would have seen quite enough of each other, thank you very much.But not in the case of one Saudi Arabian man who managed to live with his wife for three decades without setting eyes on her face.Not that he had much choice about it. His 50-year-old wife followed the tradition of her native village near the south-western city of Khamis Mushayt and kept her features veiled at all times.Until one night last month, that is, when the husband was finally overcome by curiosity and tried to lift his wife's veil as she slept to take a look at her face.

Tradition: In the village in South West Saudia Arabia, women keep their features veiled at all times.It was an error he is unlikely to be given a chance to repeat for his outraged wife woke up during his sneak peek and is now demanding a divorce.

'After all these years, he tries to commit such a big mistake,' she told Saudi newspaper Al-Riyadh after leaving the house in disbelief.

She said her husband apologized and promised never to do it again, but she insisted she wanted a divorce. It is not the first example of Saudi husbands with wives forever shrouded in mystery.There was the case of Ali al-Qahtani whose wife had been wearing a face veil for the entire ten years of their marriage. When he tried to take it off she threatened to leave and only decided to stay after he swore never to try again.And neither the husband or children of Om Rabea al-Gahdaray, 70, have ever seen her face. It was a family tradition, also followed by her mother and sisters, which her husband accepted and never tried to change, she said. When asked how she could have children without her husband ever seeing her face, she replied: "Marriage is about love, not faces."Many Islamic countries such as Saudi Arabia and Iran require women to cover their faces in public but in the privacy of their homes there is no such compulsion.But always remaining veiled - even in front of your husband - is not an Islamic practice, but a very old tradition practiced by a tiny minority of women in remote areas of Gulf countries.Most examples of it are in Saudi, one of the most conservative of countries.

Saudi courts should grant divorce for a woman who discovers that her husband is a smoker and that she is harmed by his habit, a judge in the Gulf Kingdom was reported on Thursday as saying.“A wife should be granted divorce and separated from her husband in case she discovers that he is a smoker,” judge Ibrahim Al khudairi told the Saudi Arabic language daily Al Watan.“If the woman tells the court that she has been hurt by her husband’s smoking, like suffering from allergy or chest problems, then she should be divorced.”

Furious after her husband stores her name on his cellular phone as Guantanamo, a Saudi woman files divorce after the notorious American prison, saying it is enough of a reason to end a 17-year marriage.The unnamed woman, 30, reportedly called her husband on his mobile phone, which he had forgotten at home, and saw the word "Guantanamo" appears on the screen, Saudi's al-Watan newspaper reported.The furious wife, who lives in Jeddah, immediately filed for divorce and argued that the nickname shows her husband, is a tyrannical person that she could no longer live with despite 17 years of marriage. The husband, however, defended himself by claiming that the nickname was not about how he sees her, but rather to maintain his own privacy."I don't want people sitting around me to know that this is my wife calling," he told local papers.The controversial Guantanamo Bay detention center, managed by the U.S. military in Cuba, became the symbol of torture and oppression in George W. Bush's "war on terrorism" launched after the Sept. 11, 2001 attacks.For other Saudi husbands it is common practice to create alias' for their wives on their phones in a bid to secure their privacy.Saudi-resident Khaled al-Maliki chose the nickname "criminal" for his wife because he says she stresses him out and calls him all the time to ask where he is. Maliki also cites privacy as the reason for giving his wife the nickname."Sometimes my friends use my mobile phone or might be next to me when she calls," he told Asharq al-Awsat. "I don't want anyone to know my wife's phone number."Khaled Omar said he stored his wife "salary" because "she has no mercy when it comes to spending."Abu Sultan decided to store his wife under a common Arabic man's name "Saeed al-Hindi" so that people will not know his wife is calling.But for Dr. Mohamed al-Motawaa, professor of psychology at the al-Imam Mohamed bin Saud Islamic University, these names are provocative and insulting."These names indicate the type of relationship between husband and wife," he told Asharq al-Awsat newspaper. "These names are like a bullet aiming at the woman's heart, especially if the kids hear them," he said. "This is has a negative impact not only on the wife, but also on the kids when they grow up."

A colleague and I were both laughing in stitches after reading the last article. I then asked him what nickname would he use for his wife and whilst still very much in a fit of laughter he replied 'Hitler'. So gentlemen out there what pseudonym or alias would you create for your wife on your mobile phone? This ought to be an interesting one.

DIVORCING SAUDI STYLE - Part 1

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Saudi Arabia is reported to be a country that has one the highest divorce rates in the world. Almost one fifth of all marriages do not last and this figure seems to be increasing annually. According to Arab news some time back, Saudi women are to blame for most of the divorces as they enter into marriage type relationships without being adequately trained domestically.Whilst there is some truth in this, I personally believe that there is always two sides to a story.After all, it takes 'two to tango'. Whilst researching this subject though, I came across some really hilarious articles in which Saudi men have divorced their wives in pretty unconventional and innovative ways.

According to Emirates 24/7 news, a Saudi husband used a loudspeaker to divorce his wife at a busy shopping mall after seeing her take a note from another man bearing his phone number.This, according to the Saudi Arabic language quotidian, Kabar.
The husband was with his wife and three children at the mall when he went his own way into a men’s clothing shop.
“When he left that shop, he saw a man giving his wife a note bearing his phone number…she accepted the paper and put it inside her bag,” The newspaper did not mention where the mall is located.“He then used the mall’s loudspeaker to shout divorce words against his wife although she was with her three children.

Earlier this year, a Saudi man broke up with his wife because she disobeyed him by going on a business trip without his consent.
The man phoned a radio program dealing with marital problems to complain about his wife to host Sheikh Ghazi al-Shammari, a prominent Islamic scholar. The unnamed man said his wife “offended his manhood” by traveling from the Saudi port city of Jeddah to the capital Riyadh for a business conference, alone and without his approval.
Al-Shammari concluded that the man had to divorce his wife.
“Such a wife is suspicious because she insisted to travel alone to Riyadh and without ample reason,” Al-Shammari later said, as quoted by Al-Arabiya. “I did not rush with the advice because I saw that the issue was dangerous and that we should not remain silent more about it.” The caller decided to heed the advice, and divorced his wife of ten years – during the live broadcast. Al-Shammari said the man should consider remarrying her if she repents for her actions.

Two years ago, a Saudi man divorced his wife by sending her a text message.A court in the city of Jeddah finalized the divorce, which under Saudi Arabia's Islamic Shariah law only requires a man who wants a divorce to tell his spouse "I divorce you" three times, The Daily Telegraph reported. The Telegraph said the divorce is believed to be the first in Saudi Arabia to be initiated by a text message.
The man, who was in Iraq at the time the message was sent, called on two relatives to confirm his intentions in court.
The Arab News reported the man was in Iraq for "what he described as 'jihad.'"

Just a few days ago, a Saudi man in his 30's divorced his wife for having an account on Twitter without his knowledge according to Arab news. The husband asked her to cancel her account after he found out that his wife had many male and female followers.
"He took the decision to divorce when she refused, after which she went to her father’s house in Jeddah.
The husband tried to call her back and according to their relatives, reconciliation efforts resulted in a suggested agreement under which the husband will have to pay an amount of money to his wife, who will in turn delete her account.
However, the wife insists on keeping the account, saying the husband’s action was unjustifiable and that she is not convinced that simply being on Twitter could cause a family dispute of this scale. Members of the family said efforts are ongoing to bring the couple back together, and that the reconciliation money could be doubled."

Early last year,Guinness World record judges confirmed that Abdulaziz Goldstein became the first man to divorce his wife via twitter.The 38-year-old Saudi sent the termination tweet of ‘I divorce you, I divorce you, I divorce you’ to his former wife, who wishes to remain unnamed, while away on business in Bahrain in February of this year. It was only when friends suggested that Goldstein might be the first to use the platform to make such an annulment did he contact Guinness.
“I’m amazed,” he told The Pan-Arabia Enquirer from his hometown of Riyadh last night. “When I sent the tweet, I never thought in a million years that I would be the first to do so. It just seemed like the obvious way to do it at the time, as I had run out of credit so couldn’t send an SMS.” Using the remaining 96 characters of his tweet, Goldstein is believed to have asked his then wife to remember to take the trash out and pick up his mother from bridge club.

I find the last article to be dubious though. For a start I have not come across original Najdi Saudis with the surname of Goldstein and neither have I come across a bridge club within the Riyadh area. It is articles like these that create a mockery towards Islamic values and towards an Islamic lifestyle in totality. Divorce in Islam is a very serious issue and usually when a couple is heading for a divorce both sides of the family will make tremendous efforts to provide the couple with advice and also encourage reconciliation especially if there are kids involved. In an authentic hadith narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar, the Prophet Muhammed (saw) said," Of all the lawful acts the most detestable to Allah is divorce." Usually, the husband will give one talaaq either written or verbally. In other words he will say "I divorce you" once. The husband and wife will then stay under one roof for a period of three months without having any sexual relationship."The waiting period helps to prevent hasty terminations due to anger and allows both parties time to reconsider as well as to see if the wife is pregnant. If the wife is pregnant, the waiting period is lengthened until she delivers. At any point during this time, the husband and wife are free to resume their conjugal relationship, thereby ending the divorce process. During this waiting period, the husband remains financially responsible for the support of his wife." There are various other laws and regulations pertaining to the divorce issue and in general it is not as simple as saying "I divorce you" three times. Whilst many people from other parts of the world may find it shocking and presumably frown upon the fact that women in this region can be merely divorced via sms, twitter,on live national radio or through a mall loudspeaker (quite bizarre in my opinion), this is unfortunately divorce Saudi style!!

YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!!

                                                          memsaab.com - Picture

So chatting with a member of the nursing staff last night, I was shocked to discover that a young married woman was admitted to the emergency department a few days ago as she overdosed on sleeping tablets. When she finally came around, it was discovered that she wanted to scare her husband as he did not allow her to go to her sister's wedding a whole week ahead. The reason for this is because he did not have the money to buy her a plane ticket and meet her demands of a few extravagant evening gowns with shoes and matching accessories. He promised to send her two days prior to the wedding as he would have received his salary by then. What a bizarre reason to try and commit suicide in my opinion. This incident proves yet again that a relationship that lacks tolerance,compromise and understanding will ultimately lead to dire consequences. I am pretty sure that this relationship is on the brink of a divorce.

Better In than out.....LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!HAHAHAHHAH

Passing winds, releasing gas or in crude terms 'farting' is very much a natural human activity due to the foods that we eat. However, is it socially acceptable for someone to just release his gas loudly in a public space? I have discovered that there is a difference in opinion on this subject matter and it certainly varies from country to country and from one culture to the other. So what exactly sparked this topic?...I had a British patient that came to the window last night and whilst I was trying to explain to him how to take his medication correctly, I was kind of interrupted by this ppppppprrrrrr sound..(farting sound)...and I then start again trying to explain and again there is this ppppppprrrr sound and the funny bit is that whilst I wanted to burst out laughing, the man at the window was very much unperturbed....So I'm wondering perhaps in British culture its pretty much alright to fart aloud in public....I decided to do a google search on this subject matter and I found some hilarious articles...In a recent article, the Malawian government has passed a bill that makes farting in public a misdemeanour...The people of the country were up in arms that the government has time to pass ridiculous bills whilst there are more serious issues at hand like poverty that needs to be addressed.
Despite their love of costly clothing and cuteness, it’s a well known fact that Japanese girls simply fart for fun, regularly producing bottom burps like burly builders.A practice that sadly doesn’t decrease after marriage either, with this in-depth and presumably scientific study finding that a staggering 43% of Japanese husbands had to suffer the sound of their partner’s pumping in just the first year of marriage alone...So what are your thoughts on this one LOL?

South African 'corpse' wakes up‏.......

 I read this article last night and it left me in stitches of laughter.

By AFP 

A 50-year-old South African man thought to be dead woke up in a chilly morgue on Sunday and shouted to be let out, scaring off two attendants who thought he was a ghost, local media reported.

"His family thought he had died," health spokesman Sizwe Kupelo told the Sapa news agency.

"The family called a private undertaker who took what they thought was a dead body to the morgue, but the man woke up inside the morgue on Sunday at 5:00 pm and screamed, demanding to be taken out of the cold place."

This caused two mortuary attendants on duty to flee the building in the small town of Libode in the rural Eastern Cape as they thought it was a ghost.

After calling for help and returning to find the man alive, an ambulance was sent to fetch the man who had "been exposed to extreme cold for nearly 24 hours" said Kupelo.

He said the public should not assume that a sick person had died and contact a mortuary, the report said.

"Doctors, emergency workers and the police are the only people who have a right to examine the patients and determine if they are dead or not."