Thursday, July 27, 2017

The choice is yours

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Life is becoming increasingly tough for many people out there. I see this everyday as I try to empathize with my patients. More and more young individuals are on antidepressants and mood stabilizers due to difficulties they experiencing within their lives.Financial strain coupled with domestic violence provokes a person to become suicidal. Yesterday I heard the story of a young woman who tried taking her life by overdosing on pain killers as her husband wants to divorce her. At 24 she is a mother of two kids. Whilst she is a loving mom and devoted wife, her husband is simply bored in their relationship and has opted to enjoy a string of affairs. As she is also financially dependent on her husband the thought of getting divorced made her react irrationally and she opted to try committing suicide....

My heart bleeds for a lovely woman I know. Her husband had a thriving business but now that he was diagnosed with a neurological disease and is unable to work any more, their business has literally collapsed. She was a woman of leisure dependent on her husband but now she is forced to step into a business and try managing it without being equipped with the necessary skills or expertise. Her luxury lifestyle is no more and she finds it difficult to accept. There are many people out there who are orthodox and radical when it comes to issues pertaining to women. Many believe that a woman's place is in her home, cooking, cleaning and ironing. What happens to this woman and her kids when the breadwinner of the home is no more or he is unable to work any more. Many will say " Don't worry. God will provide". God will provide yes, if you make the effort. A woman should be self sufficient. You need to develop your own skills so that the ship does not sink..As a woman you need to set your own goals in life and set out to achieve them. In accomplishing your own goals you bring purpose and fulfillment in your own life apart from being a wife or mother.I have come across situations whereby a mother and her kids were left destitute and homeless once the husband passed on. There are women out there who don't know how to do simple banking like depositing money or withdrawing money from an ATM.With the economic situation hitting new lows in this country more and more people out there will struggle to lead a comfortable lifestyle. Marriage is a partnership between two people. In the same way that a woman expects her other half to be more domesticated,a woman should also earn a living to ease her partners burden and responsibility of running a home. Alas, marriage is like the wings on an aeroplane. Both wings need to function 100 percent in order to provide a smooth flight to the passenger's on board...Hence, you can choose to fly on a plane that is rocked by turbulence or you can choose to be on a smooth steady flight. The choice is yours!!

Sunday, July 9, 2017

Letter from a prisoner - Stripping down the facts

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eNCA


I understand that social media is abuzz and tempers are flaring due to the events that happened at Sun City (Johannesburg Correctional Center B) on youth day coming to light. Naturally, the overwhelming response is one of disgust but how do prisoners themselves view this incident? 

A warden showed me the pictures last week and even as an inmate myself, I was shocked. I did not think that something so public and brazen would happen in that way. Fellow inmates reacted in a similar way. 

Like the rest of the country, prisons in the country are absolutely corrupt from top to bottom. I see corruption happening before my eyes almost every single day. Generally what happens in prison, stays in prison. The public gets exposed to only but a handful of isolated incidents. Preferential treatment of Oscar Pistorius and the pre-release party of the Waterkloof 4 are 2 such incidents which also garnered much attention for the wrong reasons. 

Almost every prison has a Sports, Recreation, Arts and Culture committee (SRAC). Committees consist of a chairman, a warden, and inmates. The primary objective of such committees is to encourage responsible behavior through activities initiated within the prisons. As with any activity, it costs money even in prison. SRAC committees get a yearly budget which does come from your tax money but most of the money is raised through the prison itself or is raised through sponsorship. Every prison has a kiosk which sells snacks at visits and a shop selling basic groceries within the prison, directly to inmates through their own prison accounts. A portion of the profit is channeled back to inmates through SRAC activities. Soccer tournaments, gym equipment, pool tables, board games and televisions are some of the regular activities paid for by SRAC committees. 

Events such as the now infamous Youth Day celebration are also arranged through SRAC. For these functions, inmates arrange sponsors to donate whatever may be required and also approach celebrities to either entertain or give motivational talks. Events take months of planning and even then, most end up being a disaster. Before any event can go ahead, approval must be obtained from various offices, including security and the head of prison. For this particular event, all necessary permission was obtained. The dancers were approved. 

In the world we live in today, music and dance is an integral part of the lives of youth. Nobody really complains at the lewd lyrics or provocative music videos that even school children cannot get enough of. I am certain that many who are irate at the events making headlines have children or they themselves enjoy music or music videos which are absolutely immoral. To me, some music videos are nothing but soft core pornography. 

If the world is enjoying this type of entertainment then why is it such an issue for prisoners to enjoy it? Why not object to prisoners playing soccer, watching television or reading magazines in which so much more is seen? Why not become mad that prisoners in this country have cellular phones? Why not get irate that some prisoners are able to have sex even in prison? In many places in the world, prisoners are allowed conjugal visits, is it such a big issue then to have dancers in a prison? 

As a prisoner myself, I know all to well about escapism. Every prisoner finds his own way of escaping his reality. Some get lost in a book, studies, religion, gym, drugs and others in music and dance. Should all these avenues be blocked? 

At the Center I find myself at, there are also a few events a year. At almost every event, time is afforded for traditional Zulu dancing. The women who participate are not clothed any more than those in the pictures circulating social media. They wear a tiny skirt that shows their panties when they dance and their bosoms are covered by what is nothing more than a bra. Such events are attended by senior management and famous members of the public. I have never heard of any complaint regarding the dress of women during such dances. So why the double standards? Why is it acceptable in the form of traditional dance but not in the form of another genre? 

Yes, prison is meant to be punishment. And trust me, it is punishment. Prison houses the absolute worst of society, but one day, the same men in here will be standing next to you in a queue, be serving you, be your client or even be related to you. That is the reality of the justice system. Everyone, no matter how grave the crime. is entitled to freedom at some stage or other. By depriving a man of everything, are we going to make them better or worse individuals who will enter society? 

Personally, I am upset at the events that occurred. I am not surprised by provocative dancing as that is a part of contemporary society. I am upset that whilst some inmates were getting a show, I am having to fight the same authorities to enable me to continue with my university studies. I am upset that while some can get it right to have exotic dancers, I am unable to have basic religious rights, as allowed by policy. I am upset that some can get entertainment but others who do not belong in prison do not have a voice. I am upset that some die in prison because they do not get the attention that strippers get.

In a country loosing the battle against crime, strippers in prison may be taking things too far and I doubt that anything remotely like it will occur again. This incident should not be what scares the public, rather it should sensitize them to the deeper, underlying issues with the system as a whole. It is easy to get angry and even demoralized by the system, and the country as a whole; but the system and the country will only change if we stop being reactive but rather be proactive. 

Monday, July 3, 2017

Please forgive me

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                                                             www.lovethispic.com

So this is something I've always wanted to write about but just didn't get down to 
doing it. Why is it that when a big night or an auspicious time of the year approaches
that people find it necessary to bombard your phone with forgive me messages.
Nowadays a new trend has also emerged with regards to people going for hajj and
umra. One impersonal broadcast message is sent to all contacts asking for 
forgiveness. Whilst residing in the Kingdom I use to love spending time with "Baba"
in the desert riding camels. This morning being a Friday I thought about him. After 
Friday prayers, Baba would pick me up and off we went into the desert where we met
up with other members of his family.May Allah grant him jannah. He was super wealthy
due to the large herd of camels that he owned, yet he worked as a driver in the hospital
to learn English from the expat staff. The Bedouins I met were simple and kind. They 
resided in their own simplistic world. Baba use to always say, "Lead your life in such a
way that there is no need for you to ask anyone for forgiveness.
But if you have wronged someone then before the sun goes down at Maghrib Salaah
you should go up to the person you wronged and ask for forgiveness with the intention
of never wronging the person again. In so doing you will never have any accountability
in the presence of your Lord when it comes to matters pertaining to people."
In Arab culture there is etiquette when it comes to seeking forgiveness. You 
approach the person and talk about the problem face to face. Once the person
is forgiven and the apology accepted, the matter is done and over.
It should never be brought up again.These whatsapp messages that are shared
over and over again is absolutely stupid and idiotic.
Today, you asking for forgiveness because its a big night or a big day
but the rest of the year you continue to oppress and behave in a cowardly
fashion. What utter rubbish. Please do me a favour, save your data and remove me
from your forgiveness list!