Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Letter from a prisoner - I saw the sunset

Image may contain: sky, ocean, twilight, outdoor, nature and water

At some point or other, each one of us has marveled at the majestic sight of the sun setting. Like the majority of things in our lives, it is one of the daily occurrences that we simply take for granted. 

The last time I saw a sunset was over 7 years ago. The last one that I remember was the weekend before I came to prison. I watched the sun set over the Kruger National Park, an incredible image that is etched in my mind. I was blessed to witness sunsets in spectacular locations all over the world. In Ramadhaan, I cannot help but reminisce over the sunsets of Madinah, a seemingly otherworldly experience. Those images though have recently been replaced by the view of the sunset that I have been seeing for the last few evenings, albeit from the confines of the prison yard. 

The daily prison schedule means that I am locked up in my cell, well before sunset. If I want to see the night sky, I have to contort my body to catch a postcard sized glimpse of the night sky through the flap on my 5 centimeter thick steel door. For the past few weeks, I have been allowed to be out of my cell during sunset. After years of trying, Allah finally softened the hearts of prison officials and they now allow me to go to the kitchen 30 minutes before iftaar to warm food for those fasting. This has made a huge difference to us. It means that we are able to break our fast, in our terribly cold cells, with a hot meal, everyday. Previously, we resorted to using kettles and clothing irons to warm food, but now every fasting person is given a hot plate of food shortly before iftaar, in a dignified manner.

I am often asked what we as prisoners have for iftaar and sehri. Unfortunately, we all get caught up in being more specific about what we eat in Ramadhaan than out of it. It is only when you don't have the choice of what your heart desires, that one truly realizes what is important during this sacred month. That said, the barakah of the month transcends the prison walls as Allah blesses us every year with more than we usually have during the year. 

On the first evening that I delivered food for iftaar, I found myself in one of the prison courtyards and my gaze shifted towards the sky. For those few moments with my eyes fixated on the sky, I was absolutely mesmerized by the beauty that I saw. The sky was a pallet of pastel shades. Warm hues of orange lit the horizon whilst the clouds seemed to be edged in every shade of violet. In this desolate, cold, grey concrete building that is my temporary abode; it was incredibly moving to witness the splendor of my Lords work. 

Every evening since then, I have had the opportunity to witness the sunset from various vantage points within the prison. I have even had the chance to take a moment to break my fast whilst being enthralled by the spectacle above. 

For me, sunset represented another day that passed. Another day that I endured this trial that my Lord has given me. And another day closer to being free. Seeing the sunset has changed that mindset. As humans we get so caught up in the endeavors of life that we forget to take a pause and appreciate the beauty that is all around us and in everything around us. 

The ultimate goal of Ramadhaan is to attain taqwa. Our illustrious ulema enumerate what taqwa actually is and how to attain it. One such definition is that it is the consciousness of Allah. In watching a sunset, it is only natural to realize that there is a Lord who through His Grandeur allows us to witness one of the infinite bounties that He has bestowed upon us. I believe that if we are to see the beauty in everything and everyone around us, we would truly be seeing the beauty of our Creator; and thus acquiring taqwa effortlessly. 

Throughout my life different experiences and different people have affected the views I have on happiness, love and life. Recently, a friend was the catalyst to life changing decisions and becoming an uncle gave me such unexpected passion for life; but it was a sunset that brought me closer to the Lord of the sunset. To many, and even to myself at my lows, I have nothing and am in a terrible position. However, despite it all; I chose to see the beauty in everything and everyone, and that, that means that whilst my body is imprisoned my mind and soul are truly free. Then which of the favors of your Lord will you deny?