21 May 2017
10 years ago, I spent a few months in prison before being granted bail pending the outcome of an appeal. For the first weekend back in the "real" world, my family and friends decided upon a trip to the "real" Sun City (the prison I was in for those few months is nicknamed sun city due to the corruption and ability to have almost anything in there).
There are many reasons why I will always remember that particular trip but there is one that truly stands out, for the wrong reasons. On the way to Sun City, I was a passenger in my friends stunning Porche cabriolet. As he was too busy thrashing the car about every corner, he did not have the opportunity to light a cigarette. Jokingly, he asked me to light one for him.
I had always been fairly health conscious and had never thought of being a smoker, as I found the act itself rather repulsive. I had also witnessed an uncle suffer from lymphoma, a time that was especially trying for me. I had as a young teen tried smoking on a couple of occasions, but it did nothing for me. Even if it was the greatest feeling in the world, I would have never smoked because both my dad and mom despised it.
So when my friend asked me to light a cigarette for him, I cannot to this day rationalise why I said yes. What I do know though is that when he turned to me minutes later, the cigarette was finished. I had smoked my first whole cigarette. The scary part was that I enjoyed it.
From that day on, I was a smoker. Most people could not believe it when they saw me smoking; but unfortunately I was hooked. Those few moments of pleasure whilst smoking became something to look forward to. Soon, I was smoking a pack a day. At times, even more. Many around me tried to discourage my newly formed habit but not even bouts of bronchitis could prevent me from lighting up.
When I came back to prison, I changed a lot as a person. My faith is what changed the most. Smoking however presented a contradiction of sorts. No matter which way one looks at it, smoking can never be condoned by faith. It is a dirty habit that is simply a poisoning of oneself. I knew this. I knew this for years and I kept consoling myself and those who care for me that I would quit, but only on the day I walked out of prison. I guess for those who love me, it was some solace for them knowing that I had intentions to quit but due to circumstances they would not push me to stop something that seemingly helped me get through my ordeal.
Would you be pleased with yourself knowing that you made someone who cared for you cry? I won't be pleased. It has always been the worst thing that I could do, to physically reduce someone to tears. As a teenager, I once made my mom cry; I vowed that day to never let that happen again, and I can proudly say I was never the cause of her tears again. The look in her eyes that day tore through me, I did not want to ever see that again. My dad wasn't one to cry but a look of disappointment was more than enough for him to render me speechless.
Recently, a long lost friend visited me. Visiting someone in prison that you care for is really tough. She mustered the courage to do that though. During our conversation, the topic of smoking came up and I could instantly notice a change in her demeanour. She looked down into her hands and when she looked up again, I could see in her eyes that same look of disappointment that I had tried so hard to never see in my parents eyes.
That look, was enough for me. That is what it took for me to there and then decide that enough was enough. I would not smoke again. Almost ten years of smoking, countless conversations with my loved ones, many lectures, booklets, articles, scary videos about the consequences of smoking and even the stark warnings on the cigarette boxes themselves that smoking kills; would prove to be futile. But one look. That one look was all it took.
I have been clean for a few weeks now and with Ramadhaan fast approaching I have no doubt that I have it in me to not smoke again. One trip with a friend 10 years ago started my worst habit and one visit by a friend 10 years later ended that habit.
The power of our minds are incredible. For such a long time I could not give up something but a mere glance from a friend proved to be the catalyst that I needed. In a world where we are all preoccupied with the bigger things in life, it is only natural that we tend to overlook the little things and especially the little things that those who care for us do. Take a moment, reflect and be ever so grateful for everyone in your life who cares for you; they are your greatest assets. And never underestimate the value they bring to your life, nor what they do for you; for one simple look changed my life for the better!
PS: The writer of this article has quit smoking totally. He never ever lit another cigarette after meeting his best friend forever after a lengthy period of time
