HAPPY NEW YEAR

Those of you who know me personally will acknowledge that in general I am a very bright and bubbly human being. I love to sing, dance and laugh. Dad says he needs to change the pharmacy name to "The Heeee Heeee Haaaa Haaaa Pharmacy" Even in the most serious of situations I always see things in a positive light. Nothing in the world phases me. Why worry when in essence, we have no control over our lives. If you place your full trust and faith in God Almighty you will soon realize that He is undoubtedly the best of planners. For many, 2018 has been a tough, challenging year. To my facebook friends and family I ask all of you to usher in the new year feeling positive and up beat about life. Always remember that if you think your struggles are unbearable, there is always someone out there who is worse of than you. The key to success in life is gratitude. God Almighty says that if you show gratitude, He will grant you more. Start your year wanting to do good and be good in all aspects of life.Show love and kindness to everyone around you. Be tolerant of other peoples culture, faiths and religions. It will get you very far in life. A few days ago, I received an inbox message from a Muslim gentleman who asked the following question, " Why are you wearing Hindu clothing during your trip to India Did you suddenly become a Hindu in India?" I was contemplating naming and shaming this idiot of a human being on a public platform, But then I old myself, I do not wish to engage with an individual who was obviously born with a narrow minded pea sized brain. I prefer engaging with people of great knowledge and intellect. This is my new year resolution for 2019, surrounding myself with people who are positive and encouraging and of course staying away from people who are all dull and gloom. Don't let other peoples negativity or narrow minded views bring you down in life. You are your own person. You are the captain of your own ship. Only you can steer your ship through stormy waters with hard work, determination and perseverance. Be the best version of yourself with each passing year. Don't ever compete with anyone else except yourself. Throughout the year I meet hundreds of people who frequent the pharmacy. If I have hurt anyone, if I came across as being rude or abrupt or perhaps it was extremely hectic and you caught me at the wrong time, i do apologize for my shortcomings and humbly ask for your forgiveness. Happy 2019 to all my friends and family across the globe. Lots of love and God Bless!

Letter from a prisoner - Tis the worst time of the year

                                                                      Bing.com

                                                                    

The festive season evokes a sense of joy and achievement in all. Another year has come to an end and most enjoy a well deserved break. It is a time of family and friends, of creating memories. It is also a time of reflection and of setting goals for the year to come. Most inmates share these sentiments and the festive spirit permeates even the thick prison walls. For me though, it is the worst time of the year.

Over this period, the prison comes to a standstill; with only the essential activities taking place and the prison being locked very early every day. It is also obviously the end of the academic year. Consequently, there is a lot of free time with minimal productivity. Whilst I will pursue some personal endeavors, it is ultimately a period of stagnation. 

Some may wish for times of no responsibility and being able to literally do nothing, but the reality is horrible. Without purpose and productivity, man ceases to be man. 

The end of the year does signify being another year closer to freedom but that is a simplistic, one dimensional view. It is another year of my life that I can never replace. As many are, I too am proud of my achievements in 2018 but it is bitter for it is impossible to not think on what could have been. 

With so much free time, I invariably delve into the treasure chest of my past. I have been blessed to have experienced some incredible festive periods in my life. From umrah with grandparents to new years eve in Cape Town and from bustling cities to natural splendour, I have priceless memories. 

Reminiscing is a powerful form of escapism; I can almost feel the vibrations run up my arms as I reel in a trout, smell the freshness of the ocean, see the immaculate fairway before me, hear the laughter of loved ones and salivate at the memory of the taste of ice cream on a balmy summer day. The memories are bliss, but the return to reality is awful, not only because of my current station in life but because I will never get to make new ones with my parents. After all, memories are not about exotic locations or adventures but about the people we create them with. 

The festive season means more contact and precious time with family and friends, for me it is the polar opposite. As loved ones travel to all parts of the globe, I have less telephonic contact and fewer visitors. During this period, that which I look forward to most is suspended exacerbating my feelings of loneliness. Waiting to hear of their experiences does however fill me with excitement as knowledge of their joy is my source of joy.

With the above in mind, what frustrates me most is hearing complaints and negativity from almost everyone. "The hotel we stayed in before was better," "the food was not great," "he/she was starting to annoy me " "I didn't buy much," and "I had a lovely time...BUT..." are the types of comments that irk me. 

There are literally billions in the world, beginning with me, who can only dream of what you get to experience. So, be grateful for all that you are blessed with and get to experience over this festive season and in general. Start seeing the glass half-full, take time to smell the roses and treasure every second you share with loved ones. Take nothing for granted knowing that for some this is the worst time of the year! 

Letter from a prisoner - Separating fact from fiction

Picture taken from net images

In the digital age that we live in, it is almost impossible to not allow the messages that
we are exposed to, to impact on our understanding of any particular subject.
With regards to prison, this notion is exacerbated due to the (fortunate) fact that most people have never set foot in a prison.
Most of the questions that I am asked about prison life is indicative of the naivety of
society to prison happenings. The general perception of prison is derived from literature,
the media, movies and television series. Having read many books (fiction and non-fiction)
and watched my fair share of movies or series related to prison, I have realized that they
paint a very different picture to the reality behind the high walls and contribute to many misconceptions. The following are some of the common misconceptions and the actual realities:

 “Prison is dangerous”
Yes; prison contains the scum of society, those who have perpetrated the heinous crimes
that make you cringe when you hear about them, but within the confines of prison there is
relative safety. Being intimidated on a daily basis, having to watch your back at all times,
avoiding certain individuals, gangs, rape, shanks and the like are nice embellishments to any
script but they are not what a prisoner must endure. In all my years in prison, I have never
once been the victim of any such activity. Fights, some with improvised weapons, do occur
but with no more frequency than I had experienced at a prestigious all boys school. Rape is
almost unheard of. Gangsterism exists but not to the extent that it occurs in some societies
in the real world, it is merely an extension of what men were already involved in before their
incarceration. The scope of gang activity in prison is largely limited to drugs, with violence a
rarity. In many ways, I am probably safer in here than the average South African.

 “Contraband is difficult to obtain”
Contraband, especially in the form of money, drugs and cellular phones, is extremely simple
to obtain. Almost all wardens are corrupt and will gladly bring in items for inmates. They
make very good money from smuggling contraband into the prisons and are brazen enough
to approach inmates to offer their services.

 “Spending the rest of one’s life in prison”
In some parts of the world, life in prison literally means life in prison but in South Africa
there is no such thing. Those sentenced to “life” are eligible for parole after serving 25 years
of their sentences but amendments are continually made and some sentenced to life have
been released after serving as little as 12 years.

 “Prison food is terrible”
We live in a world where everyone has rights and have the right to have their rights
protected. Prisoners are no exception! On the whole, prison food is decent. It is pretty much
like eating at a boarding school. Most ingredients are what is sold in retail stores and the
preparation is done in a rather professional manner. The menu has variety and all cultural,
religious and medical needs are catered for. Prison kitchens are regularly inspected by
independent bodies and inmates have many avenues to pursue if they have issues with
food. Eating rats, cats, pigeons, insects or even each other does not happen in South African
prisons; though it is not only a Hollywood idea as it actually happens in places such as
Zimbabwe.

 “Prisoners have to follow strict routines”
There is no routine to follow aside from being at one’s cell at the time of lock up. Whilst the
cells are unlocked, an inmate has the freedom to engage in whatever activities he (or she)
likes. Food is served at certain times but does not have to be consumed at that particular
time or in a particular location, as commonly portrayed in mess halls in movies. The only
other mandatory routine is to be ready for a cell inspection on Sunday mornings, wherein
the cell and person are inspected for cleanliness.

 “Suicide is a common in prisons”
One would think that suicide would be an easy way out for those condemned to spend many
years in prison but that is a fallacy. The suicide rate for prisons is less than a quarter of the
national suicide rate. Whilst there are no real obstacles to committing suicide, it simply does
not occur frequently.

 “Most prisoners claim innocence”
On the contrary, most prisoners are proud to share the details of their crimes without any
remorse. The overwhelming majority acknowledge that they were wrong. They generally
show now regret for committing crime, rather they only regret being caught.

The portrayals of prison life that movie goers, bookworms and fans of series like
Prison Break and Orange is the New Black may be thoroughly entertaining but they
are by no means an accurate reflection of the reality. It is one of the rare cases in life
where fact is slightly better than fiction.

Letter from a prisoner - Entering the mind of a rapist

 

                                                      Picture courtesy rediff.com

                                         

Throughout the ages, one of the most perplexing of man’s actions is that of rape. Criminologists, sociologists, psychiatrists and the like all attempt to understand and rationalize the inherently irrational, without reaching any implicit conclusions. The fact that rape is not confined to any one race, culture, faith, socio-economic class, age or even gender only compounds the issue. Rape is baffling even though we live in an age in which promiscuity, infidelity and pornography have pervaded all spheres of society. Even within the confines of prison are rapists not understood and are consequently relegated to the lowest rungs of prison hierarchies.  

Recent heinous events locally as well as high profile convictions abroad compelled me to search for answers to a question that has periodically crossed my mind over the years of my incarceration- Why do men rape?
Instead of re-visiting theories found in textbooks, I embarked on attempts to enter the minds of actual convicted rapists. Under the promise of complete anonymity, several rapists opened up to me in informal discussions. The interviews that I share provide interesting perspectives on this epidemic but should in no way be construed as anything conclusive but merely as a cursory glance into the minds of rapists.

The first offender that I interviewed is a coloured man from a middle class background. After a night of partying with his friends, he was barely sober enough to drive himself home to his wife of roughly a year. He found his wife in bed and proceeded to initiate sex. His advances were turned down vocally and physically. He would not accept her refusal and proceeded to rape her. As a man he believes that he was entitled to sex whenever he wanted it from his wife. He does not believe that she had the right to refuse her husband. His perverse understanding of marriage is that when his wife said “I do” she became his to do with whatever and whenever he wanted. When questioned as to why he did not stop when she cried and fought him, he replied that she deserved to be hurt as she had hurt him more by refusing him.

Another rapist that I talked to is an uneducated black man from a township outside of Pretoria. He and two cronies felt that they had a right to rob white people. Democracy failed to give them a better life, so they felt that they would simply take what they were meant to inherit. During one robbery, they found the lady of the house at home. The leader of the trio said that they would never get to experience an upper class white lady and proceeded to rape her. He then encouraged his mates to also partake as they “shared everything.” They felt that a victim could regain their material possessions; armed robbery was not enough, so something more was needed to leave their mark on the victim.

A young man from a remote rural area was always turned down by women. They mocked him for being “ugly,” “lazy,” and a mommies boy. The only way to prove his manliness and satisfy his desires of sex and revenge on women was to rape them. Over the course of 2 years, he raped his way from town to town before the bright lights of the city attracted him. In the proverbial candy store, he increased his exploits before eventually being apprehended. He claims to have raped over 40 women though he was convicted for “only” 6. For him, the ability to dominate and intimidate proved to be an aphrodisiac. When asked why he did not simply utilize prostitutes, he said that aside from it being a waste of money, prostitutes were “dirty” and would not have satisfied him the way rape did.

Another conversation was with a white man who is over 6 feet tall and weighs over 120 kilograms. He and his girlfriend often took care of his niece as her mother worked long hours. He did not tell anyone that he was into kiddie pornography and soon fantasized about his niece. One day he was left to babysit the child alone and his fantasy became a reality, as he raped the 8 year old girl.

Another white man raped or sodomized children under his care as a music professor, who tutored kids at the local church. In court, he claimed to have raped the children as an expression of his immense love for the children. Now, as a born-again, he rationalizes his acts by saying that he only did to those kids what his uncle had done to him as a young boy.

After these and other discussions a small part of me is able to comprehend the atrocities that took place but for the most part I am more perplexed than before. Rape defies logic and reason and why men rape will perhaps always remain a mystery.

Dear Mr. President

                                                              Picture by DeviantArt

Dear Mr President,

Reading a South African newspaper nowadays has become quite a depressing affair. Our newspapers are riddled with stories of brutal rape, murder, cash in transit heists, burning down of infrastructure, patients dying in government hospitals and let’s not forget stories of corruption. In simple English, stories about how government and members of your cabinet steal my hard earned money in order to live a life of super luxury. The day you became president of the Republic of South Africa, I was elated. In fact there was a feeling of euphoria and hope. Finally, we have a president who is educated and will be able to make decisions in the interest of his citizens. A few months later, that euphoria has died and we have very quickly come to learn that you Mr Ramaphosa are no better than your predecessor, Mr. Jacob ‘showerhead” Zuma.  Within a short space of time you have made the lives of fellow South Africans a living hell through the intermittent rise of petrol prices that of course creates a ripple effect, thereby increasing prices of basic necessities like food. When you took your oath as a president, I was hoping that you will do the right thing. I was hoping that you will fire the entire cabinet especially those individuals who have stolen tax payer’s money through elaborate well thought through schemes. I was under the impression that the corrupt will now have their day in court and possibly remain in a jail for many years to come. Alas, I was wrong. Then I realised how the ANC function.  An organization that fought for a particular course has now become a mafia organization that has turned South Africa into a rogue state.  You were unable to get rid of the corrupt individuals in government simply because all ANC members have skeletons in their closets. All members have something to hide. So you all cover up for each other and simply prevent the ‘secrets’ from emerging by employing your buddies in key positions of power. Give them a post, let them earn a fat cat salary and they will keep their mouths shut. Politics is after all a dirty game Mr. President. A friend today is your foe tomorrow.

As a young South African I watched the transition in 1994 on television as it unfolded. It was a historical moment. I was a part of history. However, as the years went by I started noticing this country regressing. Each time I visited abroad I realized just how backward we were becoming in all aspects of governance.  SAA was one of the best airlines in the world not too long ago. Our economy use to be the best in Africa. Under the auspices of the ANC, a world class country has turned into an absolute ‘shithole’. Believe you me, I am not a fan of Mr Trump, but he certainly does have a point. Since the ANC lacks vision and foresight as to how a country should be run, I have decided to put forward a guideline titled “From a Banana Republic to a super power” If I was the president of South Africa, this is how I would implement positive changes in this country.

1. I would fire the entire cabinet with immediate effect. No one needs to have uneducated parasites sitting in government eating the tax payers hard earned money.  At present we have individuals sitting in parliament with no formal education. Are these the role models we want for our youth? I don’t think so. I would appoint well educated individuals with credibility. In other words people who are experts in their fields. I will reduce the salaries of all government members including my own as president. Except for ministers all other members will pay for their own transport and flights. They will all reside in their own homes. Splashing out R26 million on ministers houses will be a thing of the past.  The blue light brigade will be a thing of the past and expenditure on VIP bodyguards will be reduced. You see Mr. President when a person has nothing to hide, when a person is loved and respected by the public at large there is no need to walk around with numerous bodyguards in tow.  Credit must be given where due and hence walking with the public in the morning to encourage good health is quite a fantastic idea. Taking a flight on SAA with ordinary South Africans was a brilliant publicity stunt. If only this could be the norm. The South African flag represents a rainbow nation and hence there will be equal representation in parliament taking into consideration all communities.  (Whites, Blacks, Indians, Coloureds..all communities). All parliamentarians must have some form of education. At least a bachelors degree.  Without a qualification you will not be allowed to be a member of parliament.

2. The borders will be shut with professionally trained military personnel. Anyone wanting to enter SA will do so with proper documentation. You will be allowed to reside here if you are educated and add value to the country or if you are a business person willing to invest money in this country. At present we have a huge problem Mr. President. Anyone is allowed to cross our borders due to CORRUPTION. Many illegal immigrants are involved in criminal activities. The government needs to have a specialized police force dealing with getting rid of illegal immigrants.  All foreigners residing here using the resources of the country will be forced to pay taxes. At present a small percentage of South Africans are paying taxes supporting millions who are not paying taxes at all.

3. The death penalty will be reinstated for murder, rape, drug and human trafficking and corruption. I noticed that China is one your biggest allies. Whilst your organization chooses to learn the policies of Communism from China, please take note that China's policy with regards to corruption is the death penalty. Execute a few corrupt ministers and I am pretty sure many will be afraid to steal from public funds.  Let’s go through this scenario Mr President. I work 13 hours a day, 7 days a week to make sure that I am able to pay off my staff and suppliers at month end. I also need to pay SARS every second month. Money goes into treasury and is then distributed to other departments to improve my lifestyle and the lives of other South Africans. But this is not what’s happening. The elite members within government are taking my money that I worked for and using it to lead lives of luxury. In essence we are all working to make people in government rich. THIS NEEDS TO STOP.  Corrupt ministers should be executed.

4. Our education system has crumbled post 1994. I am of the opinion that it is now worse than Bantu education. Students now need 30 percent to pass mathematics. This is an absolute joke. In fact it’s quite scary. What kind of professionals is this country going to be producing? A time will come when a degree obtained from South Africa will no longer be recognised abroad. We have serious issues and flaws in our education system. Schools that were built to cater for 650 students are now catering for 1200 students. In some schools not all children have received text books due to this issue. In 2018, kids are still dying as a result of utilizing pit toilets. It’s absolutely disgusting.  This is a direct result of CORRUPTION. I could be wrong, but I am pretty sure Mr President that you knew about the ongoing corruption when you were the deputy president of this country. But you did nothing about it. Money that was allocated to build schools has been siphoned off into the personal banking accounts of those who were entrusted to empower the youth through education. Does it not bother you Mr President that whilst your family is educated and leads a life of luxury, there are kids out there who cannot read or write yet they too have dreams.How do you go to bed Mr President,knowing that there are kids in your country who are homeless going to bed on an empty stomach. Education is the back bone of a strong nation. In order for a country to succeed on a global scale we need to place more emphasis on education. More money needs to be allocated towards education. However, the ANC will not do that simply because an educated nation is an empowered nation. It’s much easier controlling sheep like individuals with no education, in other words people who are consistently dependent on the state. Hence taking out the race card which is now an old, stale out dated concept will still work well in terms of instigating the masses. Unfortunately it will not appeal to an educated person. Own up and admit that the ANC have failed miserably in terms of running this country. Admit that the ANC have failed the nation. Own up to the mistakes rather than blaming apartheid. I think 100 years will pass by and the ANC will still continue to blame the apartheid regime. The minister of education should be a person who is an expert in child education. Send a team abroad to see different schooling models from around the world, like Finland or Korea for example. Implement world class strategies here in our country. The idea is to have the best in the field managing a portfolio, rather than the idiotic uneducated buffoons we see managing important government departments.

5. Our water and sanitation department is in a shambles. Does it not bother you Mr President that the Vaal river is over flowing with sewage which will result in the death of fish and ultimately cause illness to those who consume the water. Again, our infrastructure is not maintained due to the CORRUPTION.  All over the city there are water leaks. This in turn impacts negatively on our dam levels.  Your municipalities are bankrupt. There is no money to do maintenance work simply because the ANC are a bunch of thieves. If you are a thief you will prosper within the ANC. Instead of firing the former minister of sanitation, she gets re-appointed to manage another portfolio. It’s like taking a surgeon who botched up a patients operation, and telling him, no problem, operate on another patient and kill him too. I have never come across a more stupid, more ignorant government decision making team. In a quest to cover up the theft, and of course to obtain more votes, the best interest of the country has always been sacrificed. Our water systems should be handled by engineers who are experienced in their fields. Water desalination plants should have been constructed a long time ago. Then again the ANC is all about destruction rather than construction

6. The ANC have failed miserably in terms of protecting the citizens of this country. We rank as one of the most dangerous countries in the world. This is expected considering the fact that many of our police have criminal records. A country riddled with high crime rates will definitely have a negative impact on the tourism industry. I will be blatantly honest in saying that I do not encourage my friends abroad to visit South Africa simply because I cannot guarantee their safety.  Our police are inadequately trained to handle complex situations. In our suburb the police openly in broad day light receive bribes from notorious drug lords. Drugs that are confiscated by the police makes it way back onto the streets with the police benefiting from these illegal activities. CORRUPTION within the police force seems to rear its ugly head all the time with important dockets and documentation going missing. Our men in uniform, teachers and medical personnel should be well paid as these individuals carry a huge responsibility in terms of making the country a world class nation.  In SA the ministers who sit on their asses doing sweet bugger all expect 5 and 6 figure salaries whilst the civil servants are paid menially. The citizens should reside in fear whilst the ministers and you, Mr President walk around with many bodyguards in tow. Our men in uniform lack education. Many cannot read and write. In simple terms, there is nothing to be proud about being the president of a banana republic. Only in South Africa do police stations get robbed and only in South Africa do police stations have car guards to protect vehicles.  Policemen with criminal records should not be allowed to be a part of the police force.

7. Our roads are in an absolute sad state of affairs. Many people are dying on our roads due to potholes. Alas, this does not bother you Mr President for as long as you and your family reside in luxury nothing else and no one else matters. But it does matter. The day you became President  of this country, you became the father of the nation. Not just the father to your own kids. Once again let’s not forget about the high levels of CORRUPTION within our licensing departments. Driver’s licences are being sold to people who have no idea how to drive. Let’s not even talk about the mafia taxi industry responsible for the death of thousands of people every year. Many of the taxis are not road worthy and neither do many of the drivers have proper licences. How can a government allow a group of thugs to transport citizens on a daily basis. If I were the president I’d shut down the taxi industry. Gautrain must be expanded to all parts of the city. A metro –rail system should be built linking all towns on the outskirts to the inner city. We can improve on our railway and bus system. Proper metered cabs that we see in other parts of the world should be introduced into the transport sector.  All cargo from the coast should be transported inland via trains. In this way, we will be able to curb road damage on our national highways by trucks and tankers. Once proper infrastructure is in place we should then prevent cars from driving into the inner city. We should force people to use public transport thereby saving our fuel reserves.

8. Isn’t it ironical Mr President that you and your family utilize private health care facilities whilst the citizens of the county who have no access to private health care are forced to use pathetic government hospitals that do not have basic medication. A friend of mine died waiting to get an emergency bypass done. He was placed on a long waiting list. Let’s not even talk about the oncology patients. It makes my blood boil. Once again due to mass looting and CORRUPTION, there is no money to provide SA citizens with proper medical care. Never mind the patients, there is no money to pay intern doctors. If I were in charge of the country, all government employees would utilize government hospitals only. Maybe then those in charge will think twice before stealing and looting from the state coffers.

9. The topic of land reform is undoubtedly the biggest joke of the century and of course a way of gaining votes for the ANC. The ANC might be smiling now but trust me the White Afrikaaner farmer will be having the last laugh. He will be welcomed with open arms in other countries who will subsidize them without a doubt. Agriculture is a major component and factor when it comes to economic growth and prosperity. As a person who travels extensively I am sure you must have seen farming models of other first world countries to realise just how important farming and agriculture is to the central development of the country. In very simple terms, your own people will land up suffering. If you want the land back, that’s great. Pay the farmers the market value of the farms. If the farmer is paying off a bond, will the government continue to make those bond payments to the bank?  The government is in possession of thousands of hectares of land. Why hasn’t this land been distributed to the people as yet? The Zulu king owns hectares of land that he generates an income from. Why isn’t that land given to the people? You see Mr President, it’s very easy to fool people who are illiterate but you won’t be able to fool the wise and learned. I am not sure if you aware of this fact, but your country is experiencing a brain drain. Every day educated and skilled South African citizens are leaving this country due to the economic and political instability. It’s very easy taking away the farms but if you give it to people who have no idea how to administrate a commercial farm, you are achieving sweet bugger all. Being a farmer is not about having land and tools. It involves knowledge and skill. The government should have encouraged the White Afrikaaner farmer to take all the empty spaces of land and farm increasing yields for export.  A partnership of some sought could have been put into place between the farmer and the local indigenous community. Perhaps a profit sharing model could have been implemented. Other countries are hungry to take in people of skill. Here in SA we are driving people of skill away.

10. The ANC has done nothing apart from mass looting in all sectors of government. I would be ashamed to be a part of an organization that has stolen billions at the expense of the poor. So the mere fact that you went abroad and brought in loans from China and the Middle East is nothing to be proud about. I wonder how much of that money will be used profitably and effectively to benefit the people of SA and how much of that money will be siphoned off into personal banking accounts? SA is bankrupt and will never be able to repay the debt.  The only way you can solve the issues of this country is running this country with an iron fist. Those who have stolen should be imprisoned for long periods of time and the stolen money should be returned to the state coffers.  In simple terms you need to do a full cleanup operation. You need to strengthen and expand the manufacturing sector in this country. More manufacturing plants are required to employ more people. The Chinese must be told that if they wish to do business in this country they need to employ South African citizens. The reason why this country has high fuel prices is due to CORRUPTION AND MASS LOOTING... The only way the government can now scratch for money is through increased fuel levies.

By now you must have realized Mr President that the root problem in your country is the ANC and the deeply rooted CORRUPTION within the ANC. You have 2 choices Mr President, man up and run this country the way it should be run leaving a legacy behind for generations to come or Mr.President go down in the history books as “Mr. Ramaphosa, a spineless president”

A prisoner’s thoughts on the death penalty

                        https://lincolnliontales.com/26198/community/debating-the-death-penalty/

After hearing about the response to your video, I thought it prudent to share the thoughts of a
prisoner on the topic. With campaigning for the upcoming elections gaining momentum, such
discussions are the norm. It is ironic though that whilst the free world debates ways in which to
combat crime, prisoners are preoccupied with one argument of their own- just how much of a
remission of their sentences will they be given, as it is customary for the President to grant

amnesty to all prisoners prior to elections.

As a prisoner, I have been exposed to every facet of the legal system and have had the

opportunity to gain first-hand insight into those who have perpetrated the heinous crimes

we all cringe at in the media. It is from this perspective that I share my thoughts on the notion

of the death penalty being the solution to the problem of violent crime.
Before expressing my opinion, it needs to be borne in mind that as a Muslim, I accept and

condone capital punishment as it is divine decree. This is however immaterial because I do

not live in a Muslim state.

I will thus share my thoughts from a secular perspective. I do however find it
interesting that the Abrahamic faiths, indigenous faiths and even their syncretic versions all
advocate the concept of “an eye for an eye.” As society, we have over time all generally moved

away from and diluted the teachings of our faiths; this has resulted in a glaring inverse

relationship between faith and crime. A large part of the crime problem is merely a

manifestation of a society without morals, ethics or the concept of accountability to a higher Being.

South Africa abolished the death penalty with the dawn of democracy. The new Constitution and
relevant Acts sought to change the orientation of prisons from places of punishment to places of
rehabilitation. Prisons became Correctional Centres and prisoners became offenders.

Crime statistics confirm popular sentiment that this system simply does not work, despite

billions having been spent on it. The system has done nothing to deter criminal activity,

nor has it had any meaningful success in rehabilitating criminals. This is not surprising at

all to me as I have experienced prisons as being nothing but “Universities of crime”.

Prison is by no means a nice place but reform of prison laws in the guise of human rights has
reduced prisons to nothing more than a hostel-like environment. The legacy of apartheid is also
apparent in laws that want nobody to spend longer in prison than Madiba did. Whilst it would be
hypocritical for me who benefits from the current conditions to advocate for harsher conditions,

I do believe that laws should be toughened and that sentiment should not play such a major role,

in the face of unprecedented crime levels. For instance, a life sentence is the harshest
punishment that there currently is. It is an absolute misnomer for it does not mean that a
person will spend life in prison. Those sentenced before the change of the Correctional Services
Act in 2004 are being released after spending just over 12 years in prison and as it stands
those sentenced after the promulgation of the new Act need to serve 25 years before obtaining
parole;there is no such a thing as spending the rest of one’s life in prison under the current laws.

The concept of rehabilitation is but a pipe-dream. I will walk out of prison with 2 degrees and
numerous certificates to my name but had I spent my days idle, or worse still been involved

in illegal activity, I would still walk out of prison at the same time. The departmental efforts to

rehabilitate are just a sham, there is nothing concrete that one can take out of any of their courses.
From the onset of my incarceration, I have always been shocked at the lack of remorse from
criminals. Fellow inmates speak candidly of their crimes and only have one regret-

that they did not get away with the crime. More worryingly, the majority of inmates speak freely

of how they will improve their exploits upon release; this is corroborated by the startling recidivism rates. Prison, in its current form, is no deterrent to crime.

Like many others, I have often felt that the death penalty would be the solution. Like many
advocates of the death penalty, it is often a thought process triggered by an

emotional response to crime that has a personal impact. When learning from first hand

prisoners,how they as robbers or hijackers, who cost the tax-payer over R10 000 a month,

shot victims dead for no reason whatsoever or how men raped with impunity, I felt that they

deserved nothing but death. Over time though, my position has weakened, for a number of reasons:

1. The criminal justice system in its entirety is a failure. The inadequacies of the police and
courts means that many innocent people languish behind bars whilst the guilty roam free. I
have read court transcripts of many inmates and even as a lay person cannot fathom how
some of them are in prison. This is not endemic to South Africa, as the phenomenon occurs
worldwide and every once in a while the innocence of the wrongly incarcerated comes to
light through the media.

The notion of being proven guilty beyond a reasonable doubt is too subjective a means of
judgement. Rape is the best example of this. If a woman says that a man raped her then he
is invariably found guilty despite forensic evidence and witness statements to the contrary.
Before the death penalty could be considered, a complete overhaul of the criminal justice
system is required.

The case of Donovan Moodley is also a good example. He has served just over 12 years of his
life sentence and is thus eligible for parole very soon. If there was a death penalty when he
was convicted, he would most likely have been executed by now. Only recently has evidence
come to light, which after due process, may actually prove his innocence after all. This raises
the issue not only of potentially executing innocent people but also raises the question of
how long one would give the convict to prove his innocence.

2. The death penalty cannot operate within the parameters of a corrupt criminal justice
system and government at large. Aside from inadequacies, corruption is rife within the
police force and even in the courts. As a man who would have faced a hypothetical death
penalty, I had the opportunity to pay off people to have my case “vanish.” How many would
avert the death penalty by being corrupt and how many authorities would jump to the
opportunities of accepting bribes knowing it could save a man’s life? Most people have
experienced traffic officials willing to accept a bribe, that mentality is only exacerbated with
the intensity of crimes.

3. Death does not scare criminals. Criminals know that every time they engage in serious
crimes that they are at risk of being killed by the police or security personnel, but this does
not deter them from their exploits. Cash in transit heists are a prime example; the criminals
know that the guards are armed but they feel that the reward is worth the risk. Similarly, a
Police Minister who advocates that police should shoot first has had no effect on criminal
activity. Criminals often resort to crime to escape from their plight, killing them could be
perceived as an easy way out.

4. Is death not too easy a punishment? The victims of crime have to live with the trauma of the
event for the rest of their lives. The trauma would not end simply because the criminal has
been killed. Would it not be just to rather let the criminal suffer for the rest of his life? I
conducted and informal survey of 10 prisoners who had confessed to the crimes of either
murder or rape. It was unanimous that a hypothetical death penalty would not have
deterred them from the crimes they committed but more interesting is the fact that 7 of the
10 would rather be killed than have to spend their lives in prison.

5. As a student, I have done university courses in criminology through which I learned that
empirical research indicates that the death penalty does not deter crime. In fact, in America,
the states with the death penalty have considerably higher rates of murder than states
without the death penalty.

6. There is a very fine line between justice and vengeance. What would it say of a society who
seek vengeance as opposed to justice?

7. Which offences would warrant the death penalty? Historically, murder and rape would
warrant the death penalty but in contemporary times do other crimes not have similar or
even worse consequences? Does a drug dealer not harm more people than a criminal who
affects one victim? Do the effects of those who embezzle pension funds not ruin the twilight
of many? Should a police officer who sells a confiscated firearm to a criminal not be seen as
complicit? What about government officials who ruin many lives through fraudulent
activity? Drunk driving kills more people than murder, should a drunk driver not be seen as a
murderer? So on the one hand we have a prison system that is failing and on the other hand we
have the death penalty, whose efficacy is unproven and which leads to many logistical, legal,
moral and ethical questions.

Despite the above-mentioned thoughts, I believe that drastic times call for drastic measures.
We cannot allow the situation to continue as it is. I therefore believe that the death penalty
should be reinstated, but with strict qualifications.Together with this and in light of the
inadequacies of the justice system, I believe that the prison system should also be overhauled.
The minimum sentences for offences needs to increase and offenders should serve their entire
sentences before being released. A life sentence must literally mean a life sentence.
The sentimental value of nobody spending more time in prison than Madiba should hold
no weight,especially in light of the hypocrisy that is evident in a case such as that of Janus Valus.

Increasing prison sentences will lead to higher costs of housing prisoners but this can be offset
by privatizing prisons; an endeavour through which government can actually profit as is the case
in some American states and elsewhere.Instead of the notion of rehabilitation, prisons should be
places of retribution as was the case in prior times. Inmates should be forced to engage in work
that will be of benefit to the society that they have wronged and not be burdens to the state. For
example; inmates could be used to clean the city streets, work at dump sites or sewage works, assist government parastatals in some capacity, farm produce for the destitute or even
be used to protect the rhinos! Such work would not only serve the society but it would help
the inmates to find purpose and practically see what it means to be an upstanding member
of society. This will help reduce the shocking recidivism rates.

People generally live up to the expectations that their station in life presents, by assigning some worth to a convict will they perhaps cease to live up to the stereotypical ex-convict expectations.
The onus for change cannot only come from government, a holistic and collective
effort is required with input from all spheres of society. Points such as those made in your video
or by me should not merely spark debate but should promote activism. Our country saw the
likes of Madiba and Ghandi effect change and we should not merely marvel at their
achievements but follow in their footsteps.Ultimately, the death penalty and/or an overhaul
of the prison system would be akin to treating a symptom rather than the cause.
Human beings are not inherently violent or bad, there is always some underlying reason for criminal behaviour. Changing the means of punishment may arguably have some benefit in the short term, but in the long term crime will still prevail if the underlying issues are not addressed. This is where we should be focusing our concerted efforts. This beautiful land is ours and as its custodians, we need to play an active part in helping it realize its true and full potential. Nkosi sikeleli Africa

Letter from a prisoner - Scandals

www.scandalcolumn.com

To varying degrees, it seems that every community has an innate perspicacity for scandal. The continued success of television soapies is indicative of our , excuse the pun, lust for scandal. Scandal seems to know no boundaries, for it is rather rife even within the seemingly sterile confines of prison; and with levels higher in intensity than the scripted screen narratives lol.

 Recently, social and mainstream media were abuzz with the solo exploits of a female prisoner. She used her cellular phone to create an explicit video of herself, which I am told would rival a hardcore pornographic production. The authorities were naturally furious but ultimately were unable to mete out the relevant punishment when it emerged that the video was ordered by her female warden lover. The young lady was however assaulted by fellow inmates- they were asked to do so by another inmate who believed she was in an exclusive relationship with the said warden.

Although I have known it for some time, I still find it baffling as to why male wardens are not allowed to work in female prisons. It may seem logical that they are simply protecting female prisoners from exploitation by the male authorities but this is not the case. On the contrary, it is male wardens who have been the victims of sexual abuse in female prisons and they simply cannot cope in female prisons.

Whilst scandals are the norm at the female prison across the road, the male prisons do not lag far behind. About a month ago, the deputy head of the prison led her searching unit on a rare night raid. As always, a few mobile phones were among the confiscated contraband. One phone was of particular interest to the internal security officer who inspected the contraband as he logged it. On the young man’s phone, he found numerous seductive and nude selfies of none other but the, then, deputy head herself! It then came to light that she had been involve in a virtual relationship with the young man for some time, virtual only as their plans for a more physical encounter were yet to materialize.

The now ex-deputy head is not the first and will certainly not be the last to be embroiled in scandalous activity. She should, perhaps, have learnt from some of her fellow colleagues one of whom was caught on two different occasions, at two different prisons, in the throes of passion with prisoners. This particular woman seems to be in candy land at work, for she has now gone even further than her own interests by selecting one of the hundreds of young men on offer to be her daughters boyfriend.

Aside from the inevitable prisoner/warder or prisoner/prisoner affairs, it is almost impossible for a prisoner to have a physical relationship with anyone else. Almost, being the operative word as nobody is as adapt at finding loopholes as a prisoner.

Legal visits were one such loophole that was exploited for some time, and would have carried on if it were not for the exuberance of one young man. Legal visits are not restricted like regular visIts, they are allowed on any day of the week and do not have a set time limit. They used to also take place in a private windowless room to ensure lawyer/client confidentiality. A prisoner whose wife is a lawyer made the most of this privacy during a legal visit from her. A few subsequent successful trysts brought his entrepreneurial skills to the fore. He arranged fake credentials for a prostitute, which fooled the authorities who allowed her into the prison as a lawyer. Naturally, she became a very,very popular lawyer. She had many successful satisfied clients before one guy could not contain his satisfaction and his shrieks of pleasure were mistaken as cries for help thereby alerting the guards.

What transpires behind these high walls is crazy indeed, and no one would be forgiven for thinking that prison must be a monotonous, boring ordeal lol. What surprises me is not the frequency of these events but rather the frequency with which I am asked about these types of happenings. Whether within or beyond these walls, it seems there is always an appetite for scandal!

Letter from a prisoner - ring ring

                                                                      pinterest.com

Weekends are the only time we are allowed to use the public phone or receive visits. These privileges change the atmosphere in the prison totally.As soon as the prison is opened, inmates rush to the phone to book their place in the queue. Inmates are given 10 minutes per turn. One has the option of returning to the queue as many times, as time will allow. The calls are not monitored in any way. Sometimes one is able to make 2 calls per day.There is a constant buzz around the phone. Inmates in the queue jostle for position whilst others animatedly relay their phone conversations to friends. Opportunists will try persuading those close to their turn to give them a few minutes of their allotted time.
The queue is always the site of heated arguments because of guys trying to sneak their way ahead of others. Time keeping is also an issue. The onus is on the person first in the queue to keep track of the time of the person in the phone booth. The person calling also keeps track of his time. Often, the timing does not tally resulting in heated argument and occasionally resulting in blows.Foremost on the agenda of anyone wanting to call is not how their dear ones are doing; but rather when they will be visiting and what they need. After using the phone, the look on the face of the inmate tells the story of his phone call. A worried or dejected face means only one thing, nobody is coming to visit. For smokers this means; at least another week before their supply is replenished, and a long week ahead incurring much debt by taking cigarettes on credit, from inmates who sell at a high price or high interest rate.I have yet to see anyone emotional after a phone call for any reason other than hearing the news that they won’t be getting visitors.

For a small portion of the populous, phone calls are a time to find out about the happenings in their loved ones lives. Not knowing what is going on in loved ones lives is a terrible feeling. A weekly update in ten minutes revives the spirit to fight through until the next weekends call.
There are times when one has to deliberate, often for days, about who the precious call will be made to. 10 minutes is never enough for one proper conversation so trying to call more than one person is rare.
There are times when the phones are out of order; sometimes all the phones in the prison are affected, resulting in misery for all. There are 2 phones in my section, at the moment 1 is not working at all. In essence this means 94 inmates have to use 1 phone, one is lucky to get in 1 phone call at the moment.
This is not all that bad compared to the ultra-maximum prison I was at. There, one was only allowed 1 call every fortnight. There were however ways to beat the system and call every weekend, naturally this came at a price.
During the week, the public phones are locked. The only way of being able to make calls is by submitting a request to call an educational institute or one's lawyer. These calls are monitored by the officials. Every week, one has to be opportunistic and creative in trying to get in a call to loved ones. For a while, once the official got my lawyer on the line and then excuses himself; I had the lawyer connect me to whomsoever I wanted to call.
Inmates also try to persuade the social workers or psychologists to allow them to call. This desperate route is a lengthy process but is generally a rewarding one. Not only is one able to call, one is able to call using the prisons' phone and not restricted to ten minutes.

The desire to be in touch with loved ones also leads many to illegally obtaining cell-phones. Cell-phones are brought in by officials for
around R400.00 or smuggled in at visits. Most officials are corrupt and always keen to make some extra money, so cell-phones are always in abundance. The latest phones can be found in prisons even though the consequences for being caught in possession of one are serious. Almost every week routine searches result in many phones being confiscated, only for the same inmates to get new ones quickly.
Cellular phones do not hold their value in prison. Inmates sell their phones to one another at a fraction of their street value. Generally a basic model costs between R100 and R200; whilst a camera-phone goes for between R200 and R400 depending on the model. High end models like Samsung cost around R800.
On the inside, accessories are not a big market. The only accessory that is always in demand is chargers. These cost roughly R50. As cell-phones and chargers are seen as disposable or flushable when searching happens, there is always a demand.
Airtime is also a big market. Those who do not receive visits ask their family and friends to send them airtime which they then sell to fellow inmates. The airtime is sold at a minimum of 30% less than the actual Rand value; nowhere will anyone be able to get airtime as cheap. The rewards a phone brings far outweighs the risks, so cell-phones will always be found in prisons.

In the technological world we live in today, we are all inadvertently oblivious to the incredible power of communication. The ability to be in contact with those we love is something we take for granted. When I had all the means at my disposal, I hardly maintained contact with those who I yearn for today.
So whilst it’s nice to update your status, upload selfies or post random thoughts for the world to see; take the time and means you have to just lift the phone and personally share your feelings the old fashioned
way. Better still is to spend quality time with those dear to you before all you have is memories.

Do not judge others lest you wish to be judged

                                                             www.heartlight.org

As I reminisce on the years gone by, I recall how many of our grand parents were not that learned about Islam and religion. Many of our forefathers could not read Quraan with proper pronunciation. They never wore thobe but rather they dressed in style wearing beautiful suits and hats like their colonial masters. On joyous occasions they all went to the studio to capture their class and elegance that we all marvel at up until today. They may not have been clued up about religious do's and don'ts but they were kind people, people who spoke words of wisdom. They were caring and compassionate; they were stalwarts within their communities. They had little but they gave a lot. As time went by people started acquiring more knowledge about religion. I am of the opinion that when you become a person of God, you should be more humble more kinder and softer towards your fellow human being. Nowadays we are seeing the complete opposite. The more religious people are becoming, the more judgemental they becoming towards others. They walk around with an attitude of superiority and look down upon others. Instead of uniting people the enlightened ones with knowledge are causing division. To me, this is not Islam. Just because a person wears a religious dress code does not mean that the individual is religious. Being religious encompasses not only praying and preaching but it also entails being good and kind to you fellow human beings irrespective of race, gender or creed. In fact you need to be kind towards all of Gods creation including animals.During my travels I've witnessed so many strange and wonderful situations. I noticed a group of Muslims praying in a church in Spain. I seen women praying in their swimming costumes in Turkey. I seen a congregation of men and women praying in tattered clothing with no headscarves in Malawi as they were too poor to afford clothing. Does this mean that God will not accept their prayers? I never once judged any of these individuals as I am a human being myself. I am not sinless. I have faults and weaknesses. Their hearts are probably more pure and cleaner than my heart. God Almighty sees the inner most corner of our hearts. He knows our intentions. Don't ever assume that just because you dress religiously you are superior to another human being or you have the right to condemn other people or label others as non believers.Allah sees your heart not your clothes. Be kind to every soul that you meet. Spread love and happiness. Not hate and animosity. All five fingers are not the same. Hence you will meet all kinds of people from all walks of life. Your job is to create unity not division. We south african muslims have this strange complex whereby we think that we are the best muslims in the world. The remaining 999 million muslims in the world are stupid, ignorant and don't know anything about Islam. Wake up and smell the coffee..we are a tiny, insignificant percentage of the global Muslim population and that's a fact. Take stock of your own faults. Mind your own business. Become a better version of yourself with each passing day. Juma mubarak to all my friends and family across the globe. Kindly remember my family and I in your prayers.

Breaking the period taboo

https://images.dawn.com/news/1179501

I was contemplating writing about this pertinent topic a while ago after listening to quite an appalling Islamic lecture a few months ago but then I got so engrossed in a number of activities that it totally slipped my mind. Yesterday whilst conversing with a young teenage woman from a fairly religious orthodox background, it rekindled my insistence on expressing my thoughts on a subject matter that affects women across the globe. The young woman came to the pharmacy to enquire as to how she should be handling her menstrual cycle. In her house talking about your menstrual cycle is pretty much a taboo topic. Her mom simply gave her a book about the subject matter and that was that. There was no further communication. It was quite obvious that she wanted more information as to how her body functions, what medication can she take to alleviate the pain etc etc. Her mom expected her to receive this information from school or through the internet. I am of the opinion that your first line of knowledge and education should be acquired from your home. Your home should be a safe haven and place where all kinds of topics and subject matters can be discussed openly without any fear or objection. Let’s get back to the lecture. One morning I was trying to audio stream my favourite radio station 92.2 Fm East wave radio at work. For some reason it just wasn't connecting. I continued surfing the net and landed up on an Islamic website that had a live audio streaming mode. I decided to tune in. As I was listening I couldn’t believe that such hogwash could be aired on an international level. The speaker said something to this effect, “It is unacceptable for a man to be attracted to members of the opposite sex unless he is married to her. If a man becomes attracted to a woman then in order to avoid attraction towards her, he should envisage her with dirty impure blood coming out of her. In this way he will be disgusted and then find her revolting. She will not be attractive to him anymore.” What absolute rubbish. Needless to say, I closed the website and moved onto reading somethig more interesting and captivating.A woman’s body was created so beautifully by God Almighty. If it wasn’t for the menstrual cycle none of us would be here. Why should women be ashamed of a normal, natural process that God Almighty created? Every atom of our being was created to perfection. Instead of coming on air speaking absolute rubbish, presenters should talk about how fathers must play an active role in their daughter’s lives. There are many men out there who are single parents and they have to play a dual role. Advise these men how to comfort their daughters when they go through this life changing experience. I know of one dad who has a daughter in a wheelchair. His wife died years ago and so he takes care of his daughter helping her through all aspects of life. Teach husbands how to be more empathic towards their partners during their menstrual cycle. The body undergoes several processes that involves cramps coupled with mood altering behaviour. The Prophet Muhammed (saw) was a kind, loving and caring human being. He would never preach such crap to a congregation. He was an advocate for women’s rights 1400 years ago. The more I read about different aspects of my religion, the more I find that a lot of what is instilled within us as kids stems from culture and tradition rather than religion. On the other hand of the spectrum, my beloved driver in Riyadh, Ayyob bhai educated me about how a woman's coming of age is celebrated in his culture rather than frowned upon. He hails from a small village in South India. When his daughter commenced with her first period, he gifted me with a box of sweetmeats. He was jovial and excited. The entire village was invited at their family home for a meal. I think we need to change the way we bring up a girl child in this country. In 2018 we still find women coming to the pharmacy feeling shy to buy a packet of sanitary pads or tampons.It must be hidden or placed right at the bottom of the trolley out of sight. In 2018, there are husbands out there who ask there wives to sleep in another room during their period. These are topics that need to be spoken about and addressed. Parents need to be more proactive in their kids lives. Be open to them about all facets of life. Be their friend and provide them with the correct information, because if you don't they will simply seek incorrect information elsewhere.

Dadi's words of wisdom

8 May 2018

typostrate.com

I woke up yesterday morning totally overwhelmed by the large number of birthday messages I received from all of you. Thank you so much for the well wishes. It truly means a lot to me and I thoroughly enjoy interacting with all of you. Some of you went as far as sending me cards and gifts to the pharmacy. Thank you so much. A sincere thanks to all of you who sent me messages of condolences due to the passing away of Dadima. Kindly remember her in your prayers.

I wanted to share with all of you some of Dadimas words of wisdom that she conveyed to me during her 2 week stay at our home...Dadima spoke in Gujurati and conversed in English occasionally.

1. Always pray on time. If you can pray now. Do it now. Don't say I'll do it after this or that. In between the angel of death could take your life away and then you missed out on an opportunity to pray. Ever since I've known ma, she always prayed on time. Up until recently she would wake up at 4am to pray.

2. Never leave the house wearing torn underwear. You may land up in an accident and other people would then handle your body and prepare your body for burial. Don't give people and opportunity to talk.

3. Always be clean in terms of personal hygiene at all times. Wax etc regularly so that when you die your body is presented to God Almighty in a pure clean form.

4. If someone argues with you. Push it in one ear and take it out the other.

5. If you do decide to get married, marry a man for his character not his money. Character is forever but money is temporary.

6. If you decide to get married and you stay with your in laws, learn to overlook faults. Become deaf, dumb and blind. In this way you will stay happy.

7. Always keep your house neat and tidy. Don't stack up dirty dishes in the kitchen sink at night. The angel of death could take your life in the early hours of the morning. People would come to your home for your funeral and then they would assume that you were an untidy person. Ma was a very neat and tidy person. Even her travel bags were packed immaculately.

8. Give out sadaqa every Friday. It wards off calamity.

9. Learn your mother tongue. She always said it's such a shame that today's youth don't know their mother tongue so they can't even converse with old people and take their blessings. 

10. Lead a simple life always. Sometimes when a person is rich they have pride and arrogance and one day if that wealth is taken away from them they are unable to face the public. If you simple all the time you will save yourself from humiliation and embarrassment. 

May God Almighty grant ma the highest stages in jannah...She left this world in a blessed manner simply because of the way she lived. Even whilst in hospital her shahadah finger moved as though she was praying...As human beings we are so quick to judge people. She is good. He is bad. Yet only Allah knows what exists deep within our hearts. He is the judge of judges and the king of kings. Indeed to Him do we belong and to Him shall we return......

The end of an 85 year legacy

4th May 2018 

                                                                   alternet.org

As I stared at Dadis body shrouded in a piece of simple white cloth, there was only one thought that came to mind. Death is final. It is a journey that every soul will taste. It is a journey that many have embarked on but never returned to share the experience. As her soul left her body,Mrs Zubeida Mehtar lost her identity and was then referred to as 'the body'. All around me there were people crying, each one reminiscing on their interactions with ma. I was having flashbacks on the quality time we all spent together 2 weeks ago at our home. Ma would wait for us to return from work. Whilst we had dinner she and mom would enjoy a bowel of popcorn at the fire place. Mom went out of her way to make Dadis favourite foods.As I introspect on all our conversations we had I realise that she knew she was leaving this world for a better place. One Friday morning it was just the two of us at home. Mom and dad had to rush off to Cape Town to attend mom's uncles funeral. Before leaving mom gave me clear instructions as to how Dadi wanted her breakfast. First she would have a fruit, followed by a bowel of oats and then tea and rusks. Dadi loved her tea and it had to be served in a very big mug. She had this habit of squeezing her tea bags with a spoon making sure that the tea bag wouldn't go to waste. I guess she developed these habits due to her difficult upbringing. I'm not a breakfast person but Ma insisted that I join her for a cup of tea. I toasted a hot cross bun and obliged. Whilst chatting to her she poured out words of wisdom. She was insistent that I make an appointment with our in house beautician at Medix stressing on the importance of cleanliness. She said that life is so short tomorrow we can have an accident or pass away and other people would handle our bodies. She was very self conscious. I am so blessed that she spent an entire day with me at work. My staff were happy to have her and went out of their way to give her the respect she deserved. One of my male colleagues tried greeting Dadi with a hand shake. She refused stating, " Does the queen of England shake hands with strangers?..No right.. well I'm a queen too".. She was witty and straight forward too. She never kept anything inside her heart. Mom was the luckiest for being able to spend the entire day with her. They even went out shopping together and enjoyed a sumptuous lunch at a seafood restaurant. She loved mom's cooking and mom knew exactly how to prepare her meals. Due to the ulcers she had all her meals were prepared with no chillis and no ginger garlic masala. The only spices that she tolerated was turmeric, salt and jeera..Mom and her got along well as they both meticulous and fussy wanting everything to be packed in its place. Dadi loved fresh bedding every second day.I will always treasure the late night conversations we shared. She took me back in time as we travelled from 1933 until 2018. She had a remarkable memory. She remembered events as though it was yesterday. Dadi ma arrived in SA on the 8th of July 1940. She was 7 yrs old. She was born in Kathore in India and was very proud of her Indian roots, language and culture. In fact she was very annoyed that todays youth can not speak or understand their mother language. Her dad came to SA in search of work. Once he found a stable job he returned to India to bring his family over. World war 2 was about to commence and hence the ship they boarded from India was over booked with passengers. They landed up sitting on benches for three weeks as the cabins were fully occupied and double booked. It was after all the last ship to leave India. As soon as they arrived world war 2 began..Her family had to hang up dark blankets on the house windows so that the enemy can not see any light.Curfews were put into place and she always recalled just how traumatic her initial years in SA were. Dadi married Dada in 1978..Dad's biological mother passed away a year earlier and so dads father decided to remarry. It was Dadis second marriage as well. Her first husband passed away after 2.5 years of marriage due to illness. Dad's father Hafez Abdullah Mehtar was a well known personality as he was the principal at the school at Mias Farm. Through mutual friends Dada sent a proposal to Dadis family in Asherville asking for her hand in marriage. Dadi made me laugh when she said that a few family members and friends told her, " Zubeida you are a Randeree.You have a cook and driver in your papas house so how will you marry into the mehtar family that is so big with no cook." She discussed this with Dada who replied, " Yeh muqaddar ki baat hai.".. It's a matter of destiny. Dadi married Dada and walked into a huge family.Dada had 7 sons and 2 daughters. Dadi always recalled how she had to cook in huge pots everyday. Apart from cooking for her new family she also took care of students and teachers residing at the hostel. She had no kids of her own yet she was a mother to many. I must acknowledge that Dadi was a really good cook. Dadi also became a motherly figure to her sisters children. For a brief period of time her sister was ill and so Dada and Dadi brought the kids over from Durban to reside with them. She had a special relationship and bond with her nephews and nieces. She only spoke to them in Gujurati and took care of them as though they were her own kids.As a child I was closer to nani than dadi but as I grew older I developed a bond with her as well..I loved giving her a hearing. Being in her company was like being in the presence of a walking encyclopedia. There was still so much I wanted to ask her, there was still so much I wanted to say to her. Treasure your loved ones especially the elderly. Old people don't want your money, all they desire is a plate of food coupled with love and care. Give them a hearing and keep them happy.. May Allah grant Dadi the highest stages in jannah and fill her grave with lots of light.How fortunate she is to depart this world on a mubarak blessed night. An 85 year legacy has come to an end but will definitely not be forgotten...Please remember her in your prayers.....