Travel diary - Umra part 2 - Visiting Al Balad..

7th December 2016

Picture courtesy Mustapha Najdi

Yesterday afternoon after the asr prayers 'my family' from Jeddah picked us up for a night of exploration. We spent most of the night at Al Balad- 'the city'. Balad is basically the old Jeddah and has now been declared a unesco heritage site. A trip inside Balad takes you back to another era where carved solid wooden doors adorn the entrance of shops coupled with intimately carved windows reflecting the affluent lifestyle of the Jeddawis at that time who were mostly traders and merchants.The windows are in actual fact balconies thereby extensions of the room. The balconies were usually adorned with cushions where guests could sit and enjoy the cool evening air. Al Balad was surrounded by a high wall to prevent invasion by the Portuguese who wanted control of the Red Sea. In 1947 the wall was destroyed with only a few remnants of the wall still remaining today. The house of Nasif located in the middle of the souq is undoubtedly the most well known historical site within Al Balad. The mansion was constructed in 1872 and once again highlights the opulence and grandiosity of Jeddawis at that time. When king Abdul Aziz entered Jeddah after the siege, he resided at Bayt Naseef. The narrow alleyways surrounding the house are graced with all kinds of small shops selling anything and everything. The air is plagued with different odours....sweet smelling itr, 3oud and a variety of perfumes. If you looking for souvenirs then al Balad is the place to visit..Jeddawis are in general very friendly people and whilst walking through the souq you will encounter many curious people enquiring about your nationality and country of origin. In fact we encountered such friendly people who gifted us with expensive perfume. After 3 hours of walking through Al Balad we headed to the famous Tahlia street in Jeddah where you will find expensive branded shops along with beautiful homes and apartments for the rich and famous. My Saudi family resides on this street as well and hence we made our way to their home around 10pm for dinner. We were welcomed in grand style. The majlis area of the home was layed out with all kinds of sweet delicacies that we thoroughly enjoyed with the qahwa (Arabic coffee). After all the formalities we were ushered into the dining room where we enjoyed a spread of Arabic cuisine. Dinner was followed by freshly baked cheese kanafa and caramel creme brulee..... After a night of socializing, we returned to Makkah in the early hours of the morning in time for the morning prayers.....

Travel diary- Umra 2016

December 6, 2016

Alhamdulilla it is only through the grace and the mercy of the Almighty that we completed our umra with ease. Taqabbal Allah minna wa minkum sali7al 3amaal. May Allah accept all our efforts. We received excellent service from Saudi airlines at O R Tambo international airport. On boarding the flight we were allocated with seats that had more leg space than expected. The seats were also located adjacent to the lavatories for convenience. I must admit though that as a Muslim woman I am quite disgusted and embarrassed at how fellow Muslims utilize the toilets without giving a damn about the next person. The poor stewards and air hostesses spent half their time trying to fix up blocked toilets and clean up wet floors. What the hell does a person do in a plane toilet for more than twenty minutes. We need to address these kind of issues within our communities. We need to educate people about basic hygiene and cleanliness when travelling.I sat next to an elderly lady from Bangladesh. She was returning to her country of birth after spending three months with her son and nephew. Her son is an engineer working for a well known corporate company and her nephew is a specialist doctor residing in Pretoria.In general our South African Muslims are very judgemental. Anyone who does not conform to a particular standard dress code is automatically looked down upon and ignored. Hundreds of people walked right pass this elderly lady but no one bothered to make salaam or greet her. She was dressed in a sari with the one end of the elegant attire adorning her head. Her English was not fluent and hence we conversed in Hindi for the duration of the trip. She told me colourful stories of her childhood that lit up her face. Her bright smile quickly turned into tears as she spoke about her husbands death more than 20 years ago. She became emotional as she spoke about how she always wanted to visit the holy cities of Makkah and Medina. She stated how unfortunate she was for being in transit in Jeddah but not being able to perform umra. She is so close yet so far. She made lots of dua for my family and I and with sincerity and humility she asked us to make a special prayer for her asking God Almighty to invite her to His home before her soul leaves this world. With regards to South Africa she mentioned that whilst the infrastructure is beautiful the country in general is not safe at all. She found people to be class and status oriented. This irritated her immensely. She stated that in her country people are poor. They have very little yet they are ready to give you all they have. On arriving at King Abdulaziz international airport we bid each other farewell after exchanging contact details. 

Well done to the management at King Abdulaziz International airport. There has been so many positive changes at the airport that left me speechless. We were received at the entrance with smiles and ushered to the customs and immigration counters with much haste. The staff were friendly and the entire process took half an hour including baggage collection. Of course there were more surprises to follow. As we exited the airport our Saudi friends from Jeddah and Medina were both eagerly awaiting our arrival. In fact they were arguing as to who will play dinner host and treat us to a sumptuous meal before driving to the holy city of Makkah. Naturally we chose the restaurant and our wish was their command. Saudi hospitality is the best in the world. We were totally overwhelmed by all the love and care we received. Apart from dinner we were handed over 2 big goody bags containing imported sweets,snacks and chocolates for us to munch on at the hotel room. We headed for Makkah just before midnight and checked into the palatial Hyatt regency hotel. The hotel is one of the finest in Makkah and boasts a number of amenities apart from being a stones throw away from the haram. The culinary experience at this hotel truly surpasses most other five star hotels. After settling down we then freshened up and proceeded to perform umra. We completed the entire process before the morning prayers. Gazing at the ka3ba after 3 years was an absolutely surreal experience, an experience I simply cannot explain.......

Affluent family name. Pathetic character

This is how you spoil the reputation of a good family name... I'm not a person who will bring down another human being on a public platform and it's only after much deliberation and thought that I've decided to bring this issue to the fore so that it doesn't happen to anyone else.

Mr Inder oberoi is the CEO of the Oberoi group of companies. We have been facebook friends for many years and we have mutual friends in real life as well. Recently a good friend of mine from South Africa met Mr Oberoi during his trip to India at the Oberoi hotel in Mumbai. My friend couldn't get over Mr. Oberoi's warmth and hospitality. Thus it came as no surprise then that when he text me asking me to send him an ice maker from South Africa for his farm house that I agreed. I sent the machine to India with my brothers friend so that Mr Oberoi did not have to incur DHL fees. He asked me for my banking details to transfer the money for the machine into my account. I gave him banking details of my brothers friend as he manages a school and an orphanage for many kids in Bihar. I wanted the money to be used for a good course. Anyway, five months have elapsed and the money was never transferred. I was given all kinds of excuses ranging from 'I do not have internet banking'... ' The money has been demonetized and I'm not going to wait in the queue' .....' Somya pls send me his details again, as I have been in hospital for about 28 days. I should be out within a few days. I am sorry for the delay. Even Ice maker is not been opened as yet.'....' I will courier the ice maker back to u at my cost.You are a frustrated n Fanatic Muslim Persona'
One lie after the other in addition to being called a fanatic Muslim persona for simply enquiring about what is rightfully mine
Any way yesterday I text Mr Oberoi again as the money rightfully belongs to the orphanage. I was shocked when he text me stating that he will transfer the money but he wants hot pictures of me in return... I have a gut feeling that this man has been doing this to many women out there and it needs to stop. I am disgusted at the fact that a well known businessman feels that its perfectly alright to be dishonest and extort money from women through the Internet..It makes me angry as we have mutual friends here in SA and in India..To my friends residing in India please be very careful of this man. He is dishonest and can not be trusted. His telephone number is +919999845336. Please call him and make his life miserable. He needs to be taught a lesson...When I mentioned that I screen saved the conversation he deleted me from facebook and now refuses to take my calls. I must be honest, he can keep the money for karma is a real bitch. However, in life there are principles and he needs to be brought to book for doing people down in addition to taking away the rights of those kids.If you do call him, please tell him that I will not bring down this post until he pays back the money.I guess all good people can be famous, but not all famous people are good

           

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Say NO to BULLYING

2nd October 2016

Last week my niece came home from school quite upset and almost in tears. Upon further investigation, it was discovered that a child in her school has a bullying attitude towards other kids simply because her mom is a teacher in the same school. She addresses the other kids in her class as baboons. She also threatens other kids by saying that her mom is a teacher and she will make sure that they do not do well when they reach her moms class next year. My niece is a very soft child. She is very sensitive at  heart. She is brought up in a way where she is taught to do her best without worrying about other kids or without being competitive. She is taught to share ideas and learn from others. I am disgusted that kids as young as 7 and 8 can grow up to be so catty. Is this kind of behaviour inculcated in their homes? When the teacher of the Islamic institute was contacted, we were told that this is supposedly normal behavior and that the child will outgrow it. NO! This is not normal behaviour. The child needs to be reprimanded so that in the future the child is aware that bullying is not acceptable at school especially in the light of the suicide cases that have recently emerged due to bullying. Another big issue I have been witness to in my own life is favouritism by teachers within our schools. I was a victim of this during my own schooling career whereby my marks were swopped and given to another child who supposedly hailed from a well known family. This was in primary school. In high school I was subjected to bullying as well whereby books and assignments were stolen from my bag on due date. I knew who the culprit was and guess what, the same idiot turned out to be a pathetic loser in life with absolutely no direction whatsoever. My upbringing encompassed working extremely hard, being focused, reading a lot and of course achieving my goals without minding the next persons business. So the bullying didn't bring me down. It actually motivated me to do better. Some countries are looking into implementing a law whereby the parents of bullies get fined a hefty amount amount money as compensation. I think this law needs to be implemented in this country as well. A child is born innocent. Children adopt the behaviour of their superiors in most instances......

Be the reason someone smiles today

8 September 2016 So this afternoon I walked into Pick n pay to buy some fresh rolls. I noticed a pensioner wanting to buy croissants but she opted not to take it as it was out of her budget. My heart sank. For a minute my eyes welled up with tears. I told myself how grateful I need to be to my Lord for being able to eat anything my heart desires. I went to the bakery counter, bought the croissants and left it at the cashier so that when she finally made her way to the till, the cashier would give it to her. I'm not sure if she took the croissants but my intention was to make her day. Over the past few days I have come to realize how short and precious life really is. A person close to me has been diagnosed with cancer. Whilst he is always the one encouraging everyone around him to be positive and vibrant, he has not taken his diagnosis very well. I can't imagine not having him in my life. He has been a tremendous pillar of strength and support in my life. He has always encouraged me and guided me in life. I can't forget his words to me as we chatted on his balcony overlooking the highway, "You need to grow big wings to fly high in life. Think big.. live large. follow your dreams.If you need advise I'm here for you anytime." When Medix opened almost 3 years ago, he stood with me through thick and thin. There were days when I seemed despondent but he use to say life is not a straight line. You must be able to ride the waves like a surfer. Watching a person close to you suffer is not an easy task. May Allah grant total shifa and cure to everyone out there who is ill. We sometimes tend to take life and people for granted. Only when they gone do we appreciate their worth. I have taken it upon myself to try doing one good deed everyday for someone else. Helping others is a form of sadaqa (charity). Sadaqa wards of calamity. I request my Facebook family to wake up in the morning and live your day as it were your last. Try alleviating someone else's troubles. When you do good to others, God Almighty will bestow his blessings upon you.The intention of this post is not to make me look good on a public platform (trust me I have many many flaws and weaknesses) but rather to encourage all of you to spread good within our communities so that together we can build a better country for our youth. Don't take the beggar on the street for granted either. Go up to him. Talk to him. He too has a heart and a life story to share. The day he is not there on his spot you will miss his presence too. There is far too much emphasis on acquiring materialistic wealth yet the wealth we should be aiming for is undoubtedly a heart of gold to serve humanity....

When hypocrites and bigots become community leaders

Islam is indeed a religion of peace, a religion that calls for unity, a religion for the whole of mankind. Yet it is sad that as Muslims instead of preaching and trying to inculcate the concept of unity within our homes and communities, some of us are hell bent on causing division and segregation. Instead of our religious scholars bringing people together by means of establishing common ground, not all, but some scholars have chosen to cause division. In various suburbs including my own, the masjid which ideally should be a place of worship has now become a building whereby people within the community feel as though they own the masjid. A masjid is the House of Allah. Anyone has the right to pray in the house of Allah whether you have a beard or not, whether you wearing a trouser or shirt or a thobe. Allah is the judge of mankind. Not us humans. The masjid is not your home or family business. I am so livid at the sheer hypocrisy that exists within our communities. It deeply aggrieves me. 

On several occasions religious scholars visiting from other countries were not allowed to perform prayers in the masjid as he was branded a salafi or branded a hundred other names. Yet, when we South Africans go to Saudi for example, we are all performing salaah behind the same Imaam. We have the very same Imaams CD’s and DVD’s playing in our homes. There has been incidents whereby a visiting brother was asked to recite a nasheed or Quraan in the masjid and because he did not have a beard due to the political situation in his own country, he was prevented from reciting the Quraan in the house of Allah by the very same crooked trustees who are hypocrites in every sense of the word. These same people refuse to listen to the Quraan live in a masjid setting because the Sheikh does not have a beard but will choose to listen to the same Shiekhs recitations in the car or at home. Where is the logic? Some of our religious scholars have seriously lost the plot and they are leading their followers astray as well. They have forgotten about the beautiful teachings of our Beloved Muhammed (saw), the manner in which he welcomed people of all races including his enemy. Nowadays when a scholar comes to SA from abroad, it’s a huge hallabaloo. A hundred and one people have to be consulted in order to welcome them. Should we allow them to read in our masjid or not. ( No.. it is not your masjid or my masjid or our masjid. . It is Allahs masjid).They will first judge the individual, criticise, etc etc etc and then permission is granted. There has been situations where trustees of one masjid condoned the visiting scholar to perform the prayers and yet the trustees of another masjid in the same suburb prevented the scholar from leading the prayer due to internal politics.

It is an absolute joke. For heaven sake, the person is a Muslim. As long as the person loves Allah, has the sunnah in his heart and the quraan in his soul,welcome your brother with open arms in unity.We expect western countries to welcome muslim refugees with open arms but we can't welcome our fellow Muslims from other countries with open arms just because they do not have a beard. In my opinion when a scholar from abroad comes to South Africa, the trustees of the biggest masjid within a suburb should take the initiative to host the scholar.All the ulema of that suburb should support the program and make themselves present. Not act as though they are more virtuous or more superior.Today it is so easy for our youth to go astray through drugs and alcohol abuse.Pornography is available at their finger tips. We should rather support the programs in our masjid whether it is facilitated by local or international scholars. Whether the person has a beard or not does not justify your actions of not wanting to listen to the words of the quraan.As Muslims we need to build bridges. That is what Islam is all about.South African Muslims are not the only Muslims in the world. We are not the best Muslims in the world.Infact we are a minority group.How the heck can the umma be on the straight path when our religious scholars are calling each other by derogatory names on social media. How can the umma unite when we fail to establish common ground on various topics. How can we achieve world peace when we have bickering and disunity in our own small communities?

Dheiraj Kapoor- Success runs through his veins

Dheiraj Kapoor! Let me guess, you probably thinking he is a member of the famous Kapoor family in Bollywood. Well he isn't. He started out his career in 1995 as a model with assignments like Honda Activa TVC, Byford t-shirts Campaign, Gurukul Campaign, BPL net.com Campaign, and IBM computers Campaigns. He also acted in four English plays with internationally acclaimed theatre personality Mahesh Dattani and also acted in a Hindi play whilst doing his summer course at the National School of Drama. Having moved away from his family's well-established retail business, Dheiraj decided to pursue his career within the entertainment industry. Through his business and entrepreneurial skills, he has managed to execute and conceptualize hundreds of brand campaigns for leading international brands. It gives me an immense pleasure to interview a man of his stature and calibre, a successful entrepreneur and businessman who is certainly easy on the eyes. Read on to find out more in his own words.....

                                                       Photo credit Madhu S Dutta 

Drink you would order at a coffee shop: A healthy organic vegetable or fruit juice (I don’t drink neither coffee or tea or aerated drinks) Thus you will never find me in and around a coffee shop.

Favourite Indian cuisine: Butter Chicken, Butter Nun, Tandoori Chicken and Rajma Chawal
Favourite cologne: Tom Ford
Favourite holiday destination: Have many favourites as I have had the opportunity to travel extensively around the globe but amongst my recent favourites…it has to be Portugal

1. Firstly Dheiraj, thank you so much for taking time out to be interviewed by me on such short notice. Tell me a little more about your family background and life from childhood until present? Did you formally go to an acting school? Where did you study?

I am extremely grateful that you have thought about me for your blog. Thank you. I have a very blessed life thus far with the most beautiful parents who I could always count on and siblings who are by my side through every day of my existence.Originally a North Indian, I am born and brought up in Bangalore, therefore I have inculcated a fair mix of both North and South Indian cultural nuances in me - which has given me a cosmopolitan outlook therefore established a futuristic vision in self.
In Bangalore I have done theatre workshops with Mahesh Dattani, and followed it up with workshops in NSD New Delhi, LSDA London and New York, which has significantly enriched my experience in learning the art and craft of acting.

2.Did you always wish to be a part of the entertainment industry? Was your family supportive of you in terms of your career choices?

Certainly! It's has been my childhood dream to be a part of the celluloid world - pursuing my passion in this beautiful and fulfilling art form called 'acting' Since my childhood I was always keen in participating in dramatics, acting, fancy dress and dancing competitions. This resulted in developing my passionate interest for the world of cinema.
My family and friends have been extremely supportive, in fact they have been living my dreams, cherishing and nurturing them every moment.

3. Tell me a little bit about your modelling career. How did you enter the acting industry?

I have done modelling in the early stages of my career across different product categories like automobiles, fashion apparel, technical gadgets etc. Thus I had realized my intrinsic love to being in front of the lens.
My vision that being a model, one must possess the skills of acting, know how to be able to pose the right body language and strike the expression.
I enjoyed modelling and acting was a natural progression when I got the offer to work in films...I love the camera! Therefore doesn't matter whether it's modelling or acting - it’s all about a seamless visual narrative which being the protagonist I need to bring on board. And that's exactly what my endeavour has been thus far!

4. How do you balance your personal life and your career?

Respect both ends of the spectrum - and do my best to live up to my professional and personal commitments - because both bring to me an immense sense of gratification.
Therefore I take special efforts to keep the fun in both the world alive!

5. I am totally blown over at the fact that you have been involved in so many brand campaigns for huge companies involving Bollywood A listers. Elaborate further about your career as a brand marketer. What does it entail and how does one get to the top in such a competitive market?

I enjoy my role as a Brand Marketer – for me it doesn’t matter whom I am catering to. All that drives my passion is the core of the idea, the implementation of the marketing plan and the overall success of the brand initiative. What brings immense joy and a huge sense of gratification is when my Clients considers me as an extended part of his team who adds value to his business.
Maintaining a strong database and networking of industry specific sponsors for events and building and nurturing relations with strategic leadership and artist’s/celebrities representatives.
To keep to the top, having an excellent network with the right resources in the Corporate and Bollywood industry is essential.

6. I have heard through the grape vine that many actors and actresses are cast in movies or serials through couch casting. Do you think that this kind of practice is occurring within the industry?

I have never gotten myself into such situations in my career, therefore it is unfair for me to make a statement.

7.What has been your most memorable experience in your life thus far?

For me living everyday is an experience… and it’s my endeavor to make it memorable

8. If you could be granted one wish and have any skill or talent in the world, what would it be?

To be bestowed with a skill to bring a warm smile to every individual with simple joys of life.

9. Who or what inspires you?

Life, nature and people around inspire me most. A constant source of energy, which imbibes a sense of positive vibe!

10. What are your favourite websites?

Google. It breaks all boundaries makes me connect all around the globe with people and information.

11. Do you follow a strict eating plan or are you a gym fanatic? Is it necessary to be physically fit if you are part of the movie industry?

I am a firm believer in being physically fit not only body but mind and soul as well; from an early age I have been actively involved in multiple sports and then eventually started my gyming regime. But to adhere to a more holistic physical fitness, I have gotten into yoga. The passion for yoga and benefits I derive from it lead me into taking the next step – acquiring myself a international certification to teach.
Diet is the most misunderstood concept when it comes to fitness. It is very important to understand the need for your body and have a balanced diet plan keeping in mind long-term goals for a healthy living. I am definitely not a fan of haphazard diets, which can hamper your health in the long run.
Yes it is necessary to keep oneself fit and maintain required body statistics according to the character one is playing.

12. Who is your favourite actor, actress and singer in Bollywood? What qualities do they have that make them special to you?

Actors: Raj Kapoor, Dev Anand, Dilip Kumar, Guru Dutt & Amitabh Bachchan.
Actress: Late Smita Patil, Nargis, Sharmila Tagore, Rekha, Madhubala & Waheda Rehman.
Each had their own distinctive persona as well as individual and unique method of acting.

Singers: Music is the core essence of every movie - my favourites artists are Lata
Mangeshkar, Asha Bhosle, Kishore Kumar, Mukesh, Mohammed Rafi, Nursat Fateh Ali Khan etc. These are the singers who touched my soul every time I listen to their creation.

13. In your opinion, what qualities does a person require in order to be a part of the entertainment industry?

Entertainment world has a sense of mystery, a feel of enigma! As a star who is part of this world of celluloid, the most important quality one needs to hold on to is humility, practicality and never shy away from the reality.

14. Define success. What does success mean to you?

Success to me is an amalgamation of humility, persistence and a mind-set to constantly evolve as an individual.

15. Give me your opinion about plastic surgery? Many models win beauty pageants and then head straight into Bollywood. Most of them undergo drastic plastic surgery as well as skin lightening treatments in order to conform to a certain look. What is your opinion about actors and actresses becoming successful after they have undergone cosmetic surgery?

I am of the opinion that since I haven’t gone through this process myself, so i would not be the correct person to comment on this.

16. Where do you see yourself five years from now? What are your plans for the future?

My mantra in life is to take each day at a time - keep working with all the right intention and let the supreme power take care of you. I am a true believer of “The Law of Karma”.
I want to continue in acting and look at taking up varied roles - which can constantly fulfill my urge and hunger to a performance oriented role, bring out my individual strengths define a sharp differentiator for the artist in me.

17. Fame can do strange things to people. How do you cope with fame and the fact that people easily recognize you wherever you go.?

Staying grounded and constantly nurturing the sense of humility is the key to being real to life and people around.

18. What advice do you have for young aspiring actors out there?

My one humble advice to every individual who aspires to be an actor is never stop dreaming, never stop learning and never forget people who stood by you when you were not a star...it's their wish and love that has been a catalyst to your success story as well.

19. Are there any additional comments you’d like to add for the blog readers?

Thank you so much for this interview and I wish this article brings in love and light amongst
the blog readers worldwide. Happy Reading

20. One last final question. You mentioned to me that you have visited South Africa many times. What has been your opinion of the country? Do you think that more Bollywood films should be shot here in SA?

Howzit !!! This was the first introduction to your beautiful country. Friendly people with a warm heart and hospitality totally made me feel at ease. South Africa is a very beautiful country with a multi-ethnic society encompassing a wide variety of cultures, languages, and religions. Have traveled the length and breadth of the country and enjoyed the scenic beauty immensely.
Yes of course there is so much more to explore, given the diverse landscape and beauty of nature complementing every part of the country, South Africa definitely becomes a favourable destination to shoot films & campaigns. I always look forward to coming back… hopefully this time with my film.

Dear Sumayya Mehtar,
Last but not the least I am grateful and would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for this amazing article.
Gratitude!
Cheers

DK

                                                         Photo credit Madhu S Dutta 

                           Watch out for Dheiraj Kapoors movie ANONA releasing next year

Photo credit: Natraaj Maharshi

"Every drop is so pure like nectar for the skin that caresses right through the veins that touch the soul awakening the innocence of a child. That is the magic that dwells within the power of nature, its gift, given with the warmth and love like of a mother. This is ANONA... goddess that dwells everywhere. She is within us and around us. "

To find out more about this exceptionally humble and down to earth actor and entrepreneur, check out his facebook page and website

www.dheirajkapoor.com

Be yourself and you will increase in beauty

I was browsing through the Internet this afternoon and I came across an article that stated that the public were up in arms over Alicia Keys appearing at a music video awards without any make up. I thought to myself gosh, people are dying in some parts of the world; there are more pressing issues that need to be addressed apart from taking away a woman's right to choose how she wants to dress or look. The media and the fashion industry have dictated and literally forced women to dress in a certain way in order to be accepted in society. Women need to be a certain weight or a have a certain height or complexion in order to be considered beautiful. The sad reality is that from a statistical point of view a more attractive looking female is more successful in life as opposed to a woman who is not outwardly beautiful. This mentality needs to change as it is being instilled in our youth and kids from a very young age. I have come across young women who have psychological issues simply because they are being mocked at by their peers or school mates for not being attractive enough. I have had my fair share of verbal remarks as a child for not being fair enough as my brother. I am also a wee bit overweight due to my thyroid issue. But do I care about what other people think about me... hell no. I'm quite comfortable in my own skin. We need to teach young women that true beauty is not about outer appearance. As clichéd as it sounds, it is all about what lies within. When a person has a beautiful soul, a kind heart with pure intentions, that inner beauty transcends outwardly naturally. I know of many young women who are slightly overweight due to illnesses or they have a skin problem due to hormonal issues. Instead of society supporting these teenagers, these young women are being looked down upon for not looking like a girl on a magazine cover who by the way is probably really unattractive in real life but due to photoshop, make up and airbrushing techniques, she looks absolutely sexy. There are teenagers out there who have major skin problems but because they hail from poor families they are unable to afford the necessary treatment. Thus, they continue life with a lowered self esteem. We have created this false, distorted concept of beauty. In the Indian community this horrific perception is taken one step further when a girl is told that if she is not beautiful or fair skinned, she will not find a husband. What utter rubbish. Never mind the guy is no James Bond or Hrithik Roshan, but the girl must be tall, fair skinned with long hair etc etc etc.1400 years ago a wise, humble and knowledgeable man,Muhammed ibn Abdullah (pbuh) liberated mankind from such ideologies. Sadly 1400 years later we seem to have regressed rather than progressed!

Wife to a controlling husband

Picture taken from www.joymag.co.za During the week I met a woman who came to the pharmacy for medication related to mental health.  As we started chatting, she simply broke down in tears. Her life story shadows the lives of many women out there going through the very same trials and tribulations of life. They simply continue living in silence.  Like all young women, she envisaged to meet her prince charming, get married and then live happily ever after. However, what started out as a fairy tale has now turned into a nightmare. My patient was apparently a young,vibrant and ambitious woman but after getting married she has become a subject of abuse through her husband’s controlling and dominant character. Prior to marriage she was a modern woman always looking out for trendy fashion and accessories. She excelled in her career and always wanted to be at the top.She was under the impression that her husband would accept her the way she is. That was of course wishful thinking. Whilst she is a devout Muslim woman who left her home dressed decently, she did not adorn the head scarf. A year after marriage, her husband forced her to cover her hair. She obliged thinking that in a way she is pleasing him. A few months later, he forced her to only wear the abaya when leaving the home. He threatened to divorce her if she did not obey. She had no objection wearing normal clothing with a head scarf. But he insisted on her wearing abayas only. Slowly but surely, her hubby was starting to control every aspect of her life. She has lost her sense of autonomy and individuality. She is unable to make any decision on her own. From a high flying career woman she has now been reduced into a housewife with no drive or ambition. Her own dreams and goals have been dashed. Her life only revolves around her husband and kids. This is eating her away internally. If she tries to voice her opinion, she is threatened with divorce. His latest ultimatum is forcing his wife to adorn a full niqaab or face veil. My personal advice to this woman was to get out of the relationship if she is unhappy and move on with her life. No one has a right to force anyone to do anything when it comes to religion. You can advice but not force. Religion is purely a sacred relationship  between you and your Lord. Guidance comes from God Almighty and He chooses whom he wishes to guide. Wearing a particular dress code does not qualify you to be a good human being. I don’t even get the logic of adorning an abaya. The abaya has suddenly become a symbol of a Muslim women’s dress code  and  yet Arabs themselves will tell you that the abaya is foreign to the Arabian Peninsula. It was introduced as a dress code after the Al Saud family took over leadership around the 1930’s. Prior to this, Arab women adorned beautiful kaftans and jilbaabs embellished with heavy embroidery and beading. Many of these garments can be viewed at the various museums within the Kingdom.  Almost every tradition in the Arab world has a legend behind it, and pieces of clothing are no exception according to Rym Tina Ghazal, an award winning journalist. “It is said that sometime in the eighth century  of the Abbasid Islamic period, a merchant selling cloaks ran out of all the colourful ones and was left with only black ones that no one wanted.He visited a poet friend of his over his plight and asked him for help. The poet then composed a  poem praising the beauty of a woman cloaked in black garment, a color he  hailed as one worn by the rich and noble.And ever since then, women flocked to buy the black ones as they all wanted to be “sensuous and beautiful.”That is one legend behind the black cloak or “abaya” worn by  women in the Arab world. Marriage should be a partnership between two people. It should never be about control or making your  partners life a misery. Many women waste away their lives staying in such relationships for the sake of the kids. What for?  If you not happy, I say move on. We all have only one shot at life and we all deserve to be  happy inwardly and outwardly. Why is it that when a man marries a woman, she is expected to suddenly miraculously change overnight and fit into his family’s way of life. I know of situations where women are literally given a list of dos and donts after marriage. This is absolute rubbish in my opinion. You are marrying someone to be their life partner. You are not marrying a puppet that you can control or dominate. Accept you wife the way she is and your relationship will  blossom. As the Arabic saying goes, “Kun anta tazdad jamaalah”. Be yourself and you will increase in beauty.

A band like no other - SANAM rocked Johannesburg

They came. they saw, they conquered!

I must admit whilst driving with my parents to Emperors Palace on Sunday evening for the SANAM concert, I asked myself will the concert meet the expectations of the public and will it be a sold out show. I have watched every SANAM you tube video and I was very impressed with their singing style ever since they hit the music scene a few years ago. Since their first video, I became an ardent fan.  South African audiences though are immune to concerts where artists belt old golden oldies. Newer songs don’t really go down well with the older generation. I wasn’t quite sure if a young boy band would actually appeal to all audiences across the board from the young to the elderly. The show definitely surpassed my expectations totally. I was totally blown away and mesmerized by the sheer versatility and energy of the artists. There was a song for everyone. The younger generation stamped their feet to the new SANAM original songs whilst the elderly enjoyed the golden oldies singing in unison with the incredibly handsome Sanam Puri who is the lead vocalist of the band.

Whilst the God of music, Sonu Nigam cannot be compared to this young boy band due to differences in their musical journey, I seen a lot of Sonu Nigam inside Sanam Puri. He reminded me a lot of a young Sonu Nigam who performed on South African soil for the very first time almost 20 years ago. He exuded the same level of confidence on stage. The audience were enthralled with his warm smile and his eyes that spoke a thousand words.  The show kicked off on a high note with the band singing a few of their original songs. This was followed by an array of golden oldies. No concert can be complete without a few fast paced Bhangra songs that undoubtedly got the audience on their feet. “Joanna give me hope” was one of the songs that got the audience screaming for more. Venky S, Samar Puri and Keshav Dhanraj left me speechless at their musical ability. They played for almost 4 hours effortlessly. As a side thought, Venky S has a beautiful voice and was the support vocalist to Sanam Puri. It is quite evident that the band members are very close to each other as their on stage chemistry was phenomenal.  

As a person who loves observing human behaviour, it was fun watching the audience reacting to the music in different ways. The gentleman in front of me was so drawn into the golden oldie songs that he seemed to be in a trance like state.  I guess the songs brought back sweet memories or it reminded him of a bygone era. Mom couldn’t control herself when they sang her favourite song of all time, Dhama dam mastakalander. As a child, mom use to love singing and this is one song she use to sing all the time with the qawwali actions and all. As for the two gentlemen sitting next to me, they were in a frozen like state and showed no emotion at all, even though everyone were on the edge of their seats whilst the band sang foot tapping bhangra numbers.  In every audience there must be people who are uncouth and uncivilized. I was quite miffed at the hooligan behaviour displayed by the group of middle aged men and women who were sitting behind me. They were sitting on VIP seats but behaved as though they hailed from the streets shouting out rude profanities. There were a few other VIP’s in our row who were quite annoyed with their obscene, trashy behaviour. I guess money can buy you things but it certainly cannot buy you class and elegance. Well done to the band for dealing with the audience in a very graceful and respectful manner. Credit needs to be given to the bands manager, Mr. Ben Kurian Thomas and his entire team for their hard work, effort and dedication in terms of moulding these young artists into power packed internationally acclaimed stars in the future. A big thank you to the event organizers and sponsors for a well put together event!

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After the concert my parents and I were afforded the opportunity to meet SANAM, thanks to the bands manager Mr. Ben Kurian Thomas. It was an absolute pleasure meeting Mr. Abhijit Choudhary as well from AIM events!

Dear Ben sir,

Words cannot express my gratitude as well as admiration that I have for you as a person. From the bottom of my heart, I would like to say bahot bahot shukriya for making my parents and I so very happy last night. Thank you so much for honouring and respecting my parents always. I can't tell you how happy mom and dad were to see you again after many years. 
Mom and dad have always told me what a humble, simple and down to earth person you are. After meeting you last night I must acknowledge that there is truth in their words. People like you are a huge inspiration to me. It is this quality within you that has undoubtedly taken you places in life. Good things happen to good people and thus last night SANAM rocked Johannesburg for sure with your support, hard work, dedication and team effort. I am indeed honoured and humbled to be associated with a person of your calibre. Keep up the good work and you should be very proud of yourself, the band and the rest of the team. It is just a pity that you came to SA on a very short work related trip. I do however, request you to stay longer the next time you visit South Africa so that my family and I can extend an invitation for you to be our guest. Please travel safely.Lots of love and regards to SANAM (all band members). Allah hafiz.

Let's embrace rather than disgrace

17 August 2016

So last night I bid my Saudi family farewell. In an hour or two they should be home in Jeddah God willing. They left our home happy and elated at the fact that they were afforded a taste of South African hospitality, yet internally they were emotional, almost in tears. Residing in the Kingdom allowed me to forge priceless relationships and form bonds with people that are much stronger than blood relations. I have been blessed to be a part of the lives of many families who have taken me as their own. I have an adopted family in Malawi, Saudi as well as in Kashmir. When the problems started in Kashmir a few weeks ago, I tried repeatedly to call "papa". His mobile was switched off. I tried and tried but to no avail. I prayed for his safety and wished his family well. Days went by and none of my messages were received either. However, during the early parts of this morning, my phone beeped. In our house it’s pretty normal for the phone to ring after midnight as many of our friends call us at that time of the morning due to the time differences between countries. I was exhausted after a fairly long day but my face beamed bright at receiving his message. He mentioned to me that he is safe and sound now that he has returned to Delhi. My Kashmiri dad resides in Delhi but his extended family reside in the heart of Kashmir. His messages were worrying filled with distress at the current situation in Kashmir. He stated that the aggression enforced by the Indian army against innocent civilians is totally unacceptable and that the media is failing to show this aggression to the world. The people of Kashmir desire to have their own freedom and independence. They do not wish to be a part of India nor Pakistan. The ongoing war and violence in Kashmir is a direct result of the British colonialist’s strategy of divide and rule. They have used this tactic throughout the world to cause anarchy and strife between nations. “Papa” further mentioned that thus far almost 70 people have been killed. With strict curfews in place there were situations where families risked their own lives in order to bury their loved ones residing in another area. With a heavy military presence, movement becomes restricted and fear sets in. My family and I were planning to visit my Kashmiri family in October this year. My Kashmiri dad has asked me to cancel my trip immediately for safety reasons. May God Almighty protect my Kashmiri family and all other families residing in war torn areas from oppression. The one thing I’ve learned having close associations with various cultures is that at the end of it all, we are all simply human beings going through the same trials and tribulations of life. We all have goals and dreams. We all work hard for our families. Hence, it irks me to the core when people generalize and speak ill about an entire nation as a whole. When I decided to move to Saudi Arabia for a brief period of time, members of my own society tried dampening my spirits by stating that the Saudi society is cruel and evil. The Arabs are people of pride and arrogance and yet I know of people within my own society who are corrupt and who walk around with their noses in the air. In every society you get all kinds of people like a packet of liquorice all sorts. Whilst many people out there have spoken ill about Saudis or Arabs in general, I have only received and experienced unconditional love, care and support. Whilst vacationing with my Saudi family in Cape Town together, they made sure that mom cooked them a pot of traditional Indian Biryani and we of course part took in their traditional foods as well. It was quite fascinating to learn that my Saudi sister Deema never ever sat on a camel in her life despite residing in camel land. On the other hand she knew Cape Town inside out making me feel like a foreigner in my own country. The coming together of people and cultures is a beautiful experience and if we all strive to live our lives embracing each other’s cultures, traditions and religions, focusing on similarities rather than pointing out differences, the world will undoubtedly be a far better place to live in.

Rey's yummy bread pudding recipe for a cold winters night

1. Pour 3 cups of milk into a liquidizer



2. Add 3 eggs to the milk

3. Add a half a cup of sugar. Blend all the ingredients together.
Pour mixture into an oven proof pyrex dish


4. Spread apricot jam onto 3 slices of

bread.





5. Cube the bread slices and add to the
liquid mixture in the pyrex dish



6. Add 1 tablespoon of coconut

to the mixture



7. Add 1 level teaspoon of elachi


8. Add 1 level teaspoon nutmeg

9. Add 1 tablespoon of ground

almonds. Beat the mixture slightly
with a hand blender


10. Blob the mixture with 2 tablespoons

of butter


11. Bake at 180 degrees for approximately

45 minutes to an hour until
golden brown. Serve piping hot

Sonu Nigam - my first crush, my mentor, my hero and my inspiration

When satellite television first came to South Africa it was a novelty, an absolute craze that everyone had to have. I can clearly remember the day our DSTV system was installed. There was a sparkle in my eyes and a huge smile on my face. Finally I was able to watch so many channels that pertained to my culture and language. Whilst switching channels for the very first time I came across SAREGAMA on Zee TV. The program was presented by none other than the living legend Sonu Nigamji. For my family and I watching Sonuji on television for the first time was undoubtedly love at first sight. We couldn't get over his cute smile coupled with his boy next door looks, the designer clothing he wore and of course the exemplary character and respect that he portrayed towards his elders. My family and I never missed a SAREGAMA episode. In fact we loved the program so much that we literally recorded each episode. I always dreamt of meeting this living legend and dad use to encourage me to write letters to ZeeTv for his attention in the hope that he would reply. I sent numerous letters but received no replies.But this didn't discourage me at all. I always had hope that one day I will meet this shining star. Anyway, one Saturday morning as we drove towards my grandmother's home, dad switched on Lotus fm only to hear that Sonu Nigam would be performing live in South Africa at the Standard Bank Arena. I was over the moon. Naturally dad arranged for tickets and of course we went to the concert as one big happy family. I can still remember the way Sonu ji danced to his song"TU".After the concert everyone left the venue. I refused to leave until I had a chance to meet him. The MC of the show came up to me and tried pacifying me. He said, ' My dear, give me your CD I will have it autographed for you.' Naturally I obliged. When he returned with the CD that now had my name on it in Sonuji's handwriting I was thrilled but not satisfied. Mom and I wanted to meet him in person. We decided to run back stage with two security guards following us in haste.Nanaji followed us too lolol. Eventually we found the room where Sonuji and his beloved mom were sitting. I knocked on the door and walked into the room. He then signaled for the security to leave us alone.I was a starstruck teenager and couldn't believe that I shared the same space with a living legend. I can never ever forget the proud smile that Sonujis mom had on her face as she watched us engaging in conversation with a son that she adored with all her heart.May her soul rest in peace. After that unforgettable meeting little did I know that my relationship with Sonuji will last for almost 17 years. Not only is he a singer that has been blessed with a golden voice but he has a heart of gold too. Sonuji might be a superstar to the world but to me he is a mentor and an inspiration. I have not met a more humble and down to earth human being ever despite his huge success and fame.He has never forgotten his roots and to him humility is a very important quality that a human being needs to have. He is widely read and has quite an interesting philosophy about life and living. Through him I have seen and understood the many facets of life.Dad always told me that in order to be the best in life you don't need a certificate or a piece of paper. Be like Sonu Nigam. He doesn't need awards to validate that he is the best in the Indian music industry. The world knows that he is undoubtedly the best.My Nana use to be so emotional whenever he heard Sonuji singing. He felt as though the late Rafi Sahab lived inside of him. Sonuji inspires me to be a good human being through his unselfish acts of kindness towards others especially towards the orphaned. I am truly blessed and honoured to be in touch with such an amazing soul. Hence on this day 30 July 2016, I would like to take this opportunity in wishing my first crush, my mentor, my hero and my inspiration a very happy birthday. May God Almighty grant you many, many more years of good health, wealth, peace and prosperity! Ameen.....Love you loads to the moon and beyond!