19 June 2016
Dear blog readers,
First and foremost from the bottom of my heart I would like to thank each and everyone of you for your warm wishes and prayers during this trying time. Thank you for the messages and phone calls. As I try putting pen to paper I find myself stuck for words. There's a hundred and one thoughts going through my mind right now. Where do I begin. Nanima has always had a history of cardiac issues. For the last three years now she has always been in hospital over the ramadhaan period. We would actually tease her about it saying, " Ma, if you need a holiday please tell us but don't book yourself in hospital year after year". She would respond by laughing. This year when she got admitted we thought that as usual she would be in hospital for a week or two. But a week became a month, a month became two months and soon nanimas life was confined to a small hospital cubicle. In her own words she said, " I have no home. I live in a box". There were days when she felt better and gave us all a ray of hope and there were days when we tried convincing ourselves that the end is near. The most painful part was watching her waste away. There were days when she told us that she would like to live longer for the sake of her great grand children and there were days when she said that she was tired of living. She needed to leave.
To the doctors and staff at the NETCARE Sunninghill CCU unit, words can not express my gratitude and respect that I have for all of you especially to sister Charlene and her team and ofcourse Dr.Ganchi. You have restored my faith in humanity. You have restored my faith in the medical fraternity in this country. You were all at my grandmother's bedside as she took her last and final breath. You accommodated our family and friends and gave us the much needed space we all required. You treated my grandmother as though she was your own and hence I could feel and sense the sadness that all of you felt within. You fought till the end to save her life trying everything in the book but of course God Almighty is the custodian of life and death. To Dr Jeffery King, Dr Hsu and Dr Deseta thank you all for attending to my grandmother during her sporadic visits at hospital. Thank you for taking our calls at odd hours and making my grandmother's life a top priority. May God bless and reward all of you in abundance.
It is said that when the angel of death comes knocking at your door to take away your soul it is quite a painful ordeal. Some people are in constant agony moaning and groaning and yet my nanima experienced nothing of that sort. As she layed in bed staring in one corner of the room whilst we all held her hands she simply stopped breathing. No sound, no movement. With absolute ease her soul left her body. There was a smile on her face, an unexplainable glow.Finally she was in eternal peace.
As I stare at my beloved nanimas photo I can not help but reflect on her life. Passing away in Ramadhaan is auspicious for a Muslim. It is said that only the fortunate ones pass on in this month. A person who passes away in Ramadhaan is safeguarded from punishment and the gates of paradise are open for them. Nanima knew her end was near. Over the last few days she was talking about her parents and her home town Newcastle. Ironically some of the nursing staff who took care of her were also from Newcastle. Newcastle has a suburb called Paradise and so the nursing staff would tell her that they going to take her straight to Paradise. Sometimes nanima use to point to the window saying that she could see a garden with yellow flowers and a bench. She could see her grandmother jumping with joy. Of course we thought that it was her medication that was causing her to speak in riddles. She was speaking the truth. She could see her abode.
Why did nanima pass away in Ramadhaan? I'll tell you why. She was a friend of God Almighty. She was simple yet she was super intelligent.She wasn't materialistic at all. She was an awesome cook and very creative with her hands. You couldn't beat her when it came to sewing, needle work.. embroidery. Ma was an avid reader. She was an ardent fan of radio 702. There were times when mum and I were unaware of an incident but Ma knew. A few weeks ago when she was still able to speak she kept on saying, " You must be clever. You must be sharp in life. You mustn't be stupid". She always pushed us and encouraged us towards academic excellence.
Nanima hailed from a wealthy family yet she married my nana who was a simple middle class man. Her initial stage of marriage was very hard. Nana earned a meagre salary but Ma made an effort to earn extra money. She would make coconut ice cubes and peanut brittle along with a variety of other sweets and chocolates to sell to the school kids. She had an old coal stove in her kitchen and everyday she would have to light it in order to cook. But she never complained. She had patience. And through her patience she was rewarded. She was a quiet soul. She never fought with anyone neither did she speak ill of anyone. She hated gossiping. She wouldn't mind anyone's business. She never ran in and out of her neighbours homes yet she was always there if someone needed help. She loved family and she hated arguing and fighting. She would always tell us that we must all live nicely and lovingly with each other. Nanima and i shared a very special relationship. I was the first born grand child. I lived with her for a few months after I was born. I stayed with her whilst at university as well. She wasn't my nani, she was more like a mother. Almost everyday we spoke to each other on the phone. The day we opened the pharmacy she was the happiest person making sure that she arrived on time for lunch. She was so proud of my brother and I. She loved coming to the pharmacy always saying a prayer as she left. May Allah grant this business with lots of blessings and may it be a source of comfort for all those people who are ill. May Allah accept her prayers. May Allah give us the strength to run the business for many years to come in the interest of the community. On a monthly basis she would contribute money to the hampers we make for the elderly. As a child she played with me, she was there for me for all my school events and up until she got ill she made sure she attended her great grandchildren's sporting events. How I wish I could do so much more for my nanima. How I wish I could see her smile one last time. But wishing is all I can do. Death is so final. A journey we will all be embarking on one day. A journey where no one ever returns to tell the tale.
Yesterday as I sat next to her body staring at her face with tears rolling down my cheeks, family and friends tried consoling mom and I saying, " Don't be sad. Ma is in a better place.How fortunate she is" .. Yes, indeed she is finally in a place of peace but the void and emptiness that she has left within us will remain with us forever and ever and ever.I humbly request all of you to please say a little prayer for her.
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