Prior to my trip to Malawi, my colleague and I encountered a 14 year old patient waiting for his dads medication. You would have expected him to wait patiently in the queue, however, he jumped the queue and started screaming at us at the top of his voice in arabic. "Yallah Bisur3a" make quick he said. He then went on to say that he had better things to do rather than waiting at the pharmacy. My colleague, a soft spoken Pakistani man who is fluent in arabic didn't say a word. I on the other hand was quite miffed at the fact that a 14 year old is speaking to a man who could be his fathers age with such disrepect.I went up to him, refused to give him the medication and asked him to call his parents. When his mom arrived I first told her about her sons attitude and lack of respect for other people. But it was pretty obvious that the childs attitude was like this as his parents have the same kind of disrespectful mentality. Islam is a very beautiful religion that is portrayed nowadays in a very negative way due to media influence and propaganda sparked by various western countries especially America.Islam teaches us to respect Gods creation irrespective of their nationality, race, religious or political beliefs. However, the mentality that exists in Saudi Arabia is quite the contrary. Most people here especially the rich and affluent think that the common man earning a decent living is like a slave to them. Cleaners and taxi drivers are considered low class and not respected at all. I have noticed kids shouting at their nannies. There was an incident where a teenager of 15 years old slapped his Bangladeshi driver for arriving 10 minutes late due to traffic.In another incident a 17 year old beat his driver for scratching the car door by mistake.
Part of the problem I think lies with the bad parenting system within the Kingdom. Women here are not taught about their responsibilities after marriage. Usually they are brought up in homes where there are maids, cooks and drivers and so after marriage this is automatically what is expected in their husbands home. On arrival of the first child, there is much happiness and excitement but after a few weeks usually a nanny is brought into the picture and the child is handed over to the nanny. In most Saudi homes kids land up growing up with their nannies. The nannies feed them , bath them, put them to sleep, take them to school carrying out all the duties of a mother.In many cases you would find Saudi kids speaking fluent Tagalog, the official language of the Philippines. So what is the mother doing you may ask yourself. Well, for most Saudi women life revolves around shopping, beauty parlours, hair salons, and partying with their girlfriends at their homes or at restaurants.If the mother is not carrying out her responsibility towards her kids then how can society produce noble, respectable children. Yes it is the fathers role as well to be a good role model to his kids but usually a child has a stronger bond and affiliation towards its mother rather than father.
A friend of mine was relating a story of how his ex-wife leaves the kids with the nanny for weeks on end at her moms home whilst she is travelling abroad for conferences and vacation.This kind of irresponsible behaviour is prevalent across the Kingdom.There is no family unit as such. In many of the wealthy households you would find that the father is always away on business trips, the mom is enjoying herself at a spa or beauty parlour or travelling abroad with her friends and the poor kids are left to be attended to by the nanny. This poor nanny has to take on the responsibility of a mom, cook and sometimes cleaner as well.After carrying out so many tasks to satisfy her employers needs she is in most cases shouted at and abused by the very kids she looks after.
When these kids become teenagers they become rebellious as they have not received the love and bond of their parents.They land up seeking other avenues of filling a void or an emptiness in their lives. Every day we find teenagers admitted to hospital for drug over doses either street drugs or prescription drugs. Many a times these teenagers are brought to the hospital whilst their parents are abroad vacationing. Drug and alcohol abuse in Saudi Arabia believe it or not is a huge problem. It is a problem that this society is failing to address. The penalty for drug trafficking is death as written in red on the immigration forms when entering the country. But once again if you are wealthy and from affluent roots anything is possible.
The upbringing of a child is very important and perhaps that is why God Almighty has given many bounties and blessings to a mother. A mother who nurtures a child, brings up a child in a good way, teaches the child about morality, values and respect will only naturally produce a child that is a role model in society. Unfortunately, we find that in most cases this is quite the contrary here in the Kingdom. Kids are spoilt rotten. Small kids are walking around with the latest high tech mobile phones and other sophisticated gadgets that cost more than their nannies or drivers salary.
A month ago girl friends and I encountered a group of teenagers parked outside the Kingdom Mall. The driver of the black Pajero could not have been more than 16 or 17 years old. As we waited on the side bench outside the Mall waiting for our driver to arrive we suddenly see the windows of the Pajero roll down. The boys at the back had a paintball gun and started shooting at the women waiting for their drivers. When the security approached the car they then sped off shouting obscene words in arabic.
If this is the type of mentality instilled into the youth of a country, it makes you wonder what the future leaders of the country will be like.
A friend of mine who teaches at one of the local schools told me that the level of disrespect portrayed by students was appalling. She went on to say that the way the child behaves at school is a true reflection of the type of home the child comes from. She recalled an incident where a saudi child was making fun at a Christian child simply because the child was not muslim and because the child was of a darker skin colour. For some odd reason its quite a common fact that Saudis love people who are fair. Most Saudi men would prefer marrying women who are blue eyed, fair skinned.After sitting the child down it was established that in the childs home, the kids were taught that arab muslims are superior than all other people. Also the fact that the child's nanny was a dark skinned Christian woman from Sri Lanka, the impression embedded in the childs mind was that dark skinned people are of a lower class in society. The parents of the child had no respect for the child's nanny.They consistently spoke to the nanny in a harsh impolite manner and so this same type of inhumane mentality was now being transferred to the child.
Most kids residing within the Kingdom have not seen the true face of poverty. Wealth is usually handed down from generation to generation. Teenagers have the money to access drugs and other illegal substances. The government here needs to channel the energy of the youth into a different direction. Kids should be encouraged to do voluntary work at hospitals or spend a few weeks in a poor, poverty stricken country doing voluntary humanitarian work. Most kids here spend their time idle watching television or playing computer games and hence statistics have shown the high level of obesity amongst the Saudi population. Also in the majority of Saudi households food is not cooked at home but rather bought outside from a fast food restaurant that offers a delivery service.
Most kids residing within the Kingdom have not seen the true face of poverty. Wealth is usually handed down from generation to generation. Teenagers have the money to access drugs and other illegal substances. The government here needs to channel the energy of the youth into a different direction. Kids should be encouraged to do voluntary work at hospitals or spend a few weeks in a poor, poverty stricken country doing voluntary humanitarian work. Most kids here spend their time idle watching television or playing computer games and hence statistics have shown the high level of obesity amongst the Saudi population. Also in the majority of Saudi households food is not cooked at home but rather bought outside from a fast food restaurant that offers a delivery service.
But all is not bleak. I have met a few families who have inculcated good qualities in their children. One such family is the Al-Khanaani family who send their kids on a yearly basis to various parts of the world doing charity work and assisting the poor.Also during the month of Ramadhaan the family would go to Makkah or Medina and hand out food to the needy people outside the haram. Mr. Al Khanaani always says that spoiling a child is like poisoning a child.He never gives his kids any money unless they have earned it through working part time or passing an exam. His attitude needs to be adopted throughout society.
Kids should be encouraged to participate in sports. Youth camps should be initiated whereby kids can participate in various activities.I think more youth social activities need to be set up within the Kingdom to allow children of all colours and creed to interact with each other so that barriers based on colour or religious beliefs can fade. Youth leadership programs are an excellent way to encourage teenagers to learn about various aspects of life.These programs can assist in moulding kids into better human beings
I have noticed on many occasions that Arab families do not like their kids to interact with non Arab children or families. By doing this you create a society that has barriers, a society where one nation feels they are superior or above the rest, a society where kids do not respect their elders based on their job status or skin colour. It is sad that Saudi Arabia, being the birth place of Islam has a value system that is quite against Islamic principles or etiquette and if this kind of menatlity continues then alas the doomed youth of today will be the corrupt leaders of tomorrow!!!!
