The festive season evokes a sense of joy and achievement in all. Another year has come to an end and most enjoy a well deserved break. It is a time of family and friends, of creating memories. It is also a time of reflection and of setting goals for the year to come. Most inmates share these sentiments and the festive spirit permeates even the thick prison walls. For me though, it is the worst time of the year.
Over this period, the prison comes to a standstill; with only the essential activities taking place and the prison being locked very early every day. It is also obviously the end of the academic year. Consequently, there is a lot of free time with minimal productivity. Whilst I will pursue some personal endeavors, it is ultimately a period of stagnation.
Some may wish for times of no responsibility and being able to literally do nothing, but the reality is horrible. Without purpose and productivity, man ceases to be man.
The end of the year does signify being another year closer to freedom but that is a simplistic, one dimensional view. It is another year of my life that I can never replace. As many are, I too am proud of my achievements in 2018 but it is bitter for it is impossible to not think on what could have been.
With so much free time, I invariably delve into the treasure chest of my past. I have been blessed to have experienced some incredible festive periods in my life. From umrah with grandparents to new years eve in Cape Town and from bustling cities to natural splendour, I have priceless memories.
Reminiscing is a powerful form of escapism; I can almost feel the vibrations run up my arms as I reel in a trout, smell the freshness of the ocean, see the immaculate fairway before me, hear the laughter of loved ones and salivate at the memory of the taste of ice cream on a balmy summer day. The memories are bliss, but the return to reality is awful, not only because of my current station in life but because I will never get to make new ones with my parents. After all, memories are not about exotic locations or adventures but about the people we create them with.
The festive season means more contact and precious time with family and friends, for me it is the polar opposite. As loved ones travel to all parts of the globe, I have less telephonic contact and fewer visitors. During this period, that which I look forward to most is suspended exacerbating my feelings of loneliness. Waiting to hear of their experiences does however fill me with excitement as knowledge of their joy is my source of joy.
With the above in mind, what frustrates me most is hearing complaints and negativity from almost everyone. "The hotel we stayed in before was better," "the food was not great," "he/she was starting to annoy me " "I didn't buy much," and "I had a lovely time...BUT..." are the types of comments that irk me.
There are literally billions in the world, beginning with me, who can only dream of what you get to experience. So, be grateful for all that you are blessed with and get to experience over this festive season and in general. Start seeing the glass half-full, take time to smell the roses and treasure every second you share with loved ones. Take nothing for granted knowing that for some this is the worst time of the year!
