www.fathermag.com
Over the last few weeks I have posted articles about kids abusing parents and dumping them in the old age home. However, a friend of mine made me see the other side of the story and his story really broke my heart. A few days ago whilst chatting to me he informed me that he never really had a good childhood and the only memories of his childhood is one of abuse.His mom and his siblings lived in fear of his dad. His dad would hit his mom black and blue in addition to cursing his kids. He was never there to encourage them at school. He would abuse them verbally.The only thing he did was lower their self esteem and made them feel inferior to other kids.. Very often his mom would be walking on the street with a broken nose. The biggest happiness he ever got was the day his mom decided to divorce his dad and walk away. Unfortunately years later his mom got ill and passed away. His dad is still alive and whilst I advised him to make peace he simply replied that he has tried on two occasions to set the relationship straight but the damage has already been done from his childhood days. In his eyes his dad is dead even though he is still alive.
The cycle of abuse continued when he got married believe it or not. His marriage was arranged by a religious scholar who knew the psychological history of the woman that he suggested he marries. In typical Indian fashion, this religious scholar pushed him to marry this woman in the hope that she will get better psychologically. However, due to her illness she was literally abusing him physically to the point where he landed up with internal bleeding. He remained in this relationship for four years until he decided that enough was enough. He divorced her and moved on. We always talk about women and the elderly being victims of abuse but his story really made me see things from a different perspective. Kids can grow up to hate their parents simply due to the abuse they have endured in their childhood years at the hands of their parents who should have been there as their guide and mentor in life and hence may be these same kids have no time for their parents in their old age and secondly men can also be victims of abuse not only women. I am proud of my friend though for rising above all the pain he faced during his childhood years. Today he is a successful businessman with an amazingly bright and bubbly personality. He has an aura of positivity and I applaud him for sharing his story with me.
