Let's embrace rather than disgrace

17 August 2016

So last night I bid my Saudi family farewell. In an hour or two they should be home in Jeddah God willing. They left our home happy and elated at the fact that they were afforded a taste of South African hospitality, yet internally they were emotional, almost in tears. Residing in the Kingdom allowed me to forge priceless relationships and form bonds with people that are much stronger than blood relations. I have been blessed to be a part of the lives of many families who have taken me as their own. I have an adopted family in Malawi, Saudi as well as in Kashmir. When the problems started in Kashmir a few weeks ago, I tried repeatedly to call "papa". His mobile was switched off. I tried and tried but to no avail. I prayed for his safety and wished his family well. Days went by and none of my messages were received either. However, during the early parts of this morning, my phone beeped. In our house it’s pretty normal for the phone to ring after midnight as many of our friends call us at that time of the morning due to the time differences between countries. I was exhausted after a fairly long day but my face beamed bright at receiving his message. He mentioned to me that he is safe and sound now that he has returned to Delhi. My Kashmiri dad resides in Delhi but his extended family reside in the heart of Kashmir. His messages were worrying filled with distress at the current situation in Kashmir. He stated that the aggression enforced by the Indian army against innocent civilians is totally unacceptable and that the media is failing to show this aggression to the world. The people of Kashmir desire to have their own freedom and independence. They do not wish to be a part of India nor Pakistan. The ongoing war and violence in Kashmir is a direct result of the British colonialist’s strategy of divide and rule. They have used this tactic throughout the world to cause anarchy and strife between nations. “Papa” further mentioned that thus far almost 70 people have been killed. With strict curfews in place there were situations where families risked their own lives in order to bury their loved ones residing in another area. With a heavy military presence, movement becomes restricted and fear sets in. My family and I were planning to visit my Kashmiri family in October this year. My Kashmiri dad has asked me to cancel my trip immediately for safety reasons. May God Almighty protect my Kashmiri family and all other families residing in war torn areas from oppression. The one thing I’ve learned having close associations with various cultures is that at the end of it all, we are all simply human beings going through the same trials and tribulations of life. We all have goals and dreams. We all work hard for our families. Hence, it irks me to the core when people generalize and speak ill about an entire nation as a whole. When I decided to move to Saudi Arabia for a brief period of time, members of my own society tried dampening my spirits by stating that the Saudi society is cruel and evil. The Arabs are people of pride and arrogance and yet I know of people within my own society who are corrupt and who walk around with their noses in the air. In every society you get all kinds of people like a packet of liquorice all sorts. Whilst many people out there have spoken ill about Saudis or Arabs in general, I have only received and experienced unconditional love, care and support. Whilst vacationing with my Saudi family in Cape Town together, they made sure that mom cooked them a pot of traditional Indian Biryani and we of course part took in their traditional foods as well. It was quite fascinating to learn that my Saudi sister Deema never ever sat on a camel in her life despite residing in camel land. On the other hand she knew Cape Town inside out making me feel like a foreigner in my own country. The coming together of people and cultures is a beautiful experience and if we all strive to live our lives embracing each other’s cultures, traditions and religions, focusing on similarities rather than pointing out differences, the world will undoubtedly be a far better place to live in.

Saudi Hospitality

Whenever I go to South Africa on vacation I always get asked about Arabic culture, Middle Eastern cuisine and of course Arabian hospitality and lifestyle. One of the most frequent questions I get asked is, what's it like visiting an Arab home. Well I would say that Arab hospitality is very similar to the hospitality shown to guests visiting a South African Muslim home. I will relate my wonderful  lunch experience with the Najdi family who resides in the port city of Jeddah.

Mom and I happened to meet Mr. Najdi and his wife whilst on a flight from South Africa to the Kingdom. Mr. Najdi was under the impression that we were Arab Saudi women as we were both adorned in our abayas and headscarf. I am in the process of learning Arabic and so I answered all his questions in Arabic and only after some time elapsed did he realize that I'm originally South African. Mr. Najdi and his family travel to South Africa every three months for vacation and so he had met my dads cousin a few times before on the same Johannesburg-Jeddah flight. Mr. and Mrs. Najdi were excellent company throughout the long flight.They enlightened me on various aspects of Saudi life and also gave me an insight into their roots and family history. Mr. Najdis family are originally from the Hijaz region of Saudi Arabia which encompasses Makkah and Medina.In medina at the Prophets masjid there are six Muazzins (The crier who calls the faithful to prayer five times a day.)These Muazzins hail from families who have been solely responsible for carrying out this duty dating back to the Ottoman empire. There is documented evidence to support this claim which is available in the Medina museum. Mr. Najdi also hails from one such family. The responsibility to call out the azaan at Masjid un Nabawi is passed down from generation to generation and at present his dad's eldest brother is the Muazzin. This duty will soon be handed over to his son in time to come.

Mr. Najdi extended a lunch invitation to us whilst mom and I were enroute to Makkah to perform Umra. He arrived at the airport in a beautiful black German made car with tinted windows of course. He then showed us around Jeddah almost like a little city tour before making our way to his elegant home. All Saudi homes have high walls to maintain privacy. On entering the premises we were greeted by Mrs. Najdi who immediately took us to the pool area where a tray was beautifully laid out with qahwa (arabic coffee), tamer(dates) and an assortment of expensive imported chocolates and truffles. Mr. Najdi has four daughters and one son. The eldest daughter is married and now resides in Canada due to her studies. The second daughter is also married but still resides in Jeddah. She also joined us for lunch and it was really delightful meeting her husband. He was a really polite, friendly man who made us laugh as he tried singing the South African national anthem to us. The bit that surprised us most was that he didn't look like a Saudi man at all. He looked very much Indian. He told us that whenever he visits South Africa everyone thinks he is a local South African Indian man. So after meeting the family we were then ushered to the dining room area inside the house where a sumptuous lunch was served. The home was beautiful with two lounge areas elegantly furnished and decorated with ornaments and art pieces from all over the world, an ensuite guest room, a study, two bathrooms and the dining room on the first floor. The second floor had five ensuite bedrooms and surprisingly the kitchen. The third floor was an open Arabic style majlis area decorated with expensive carpets and cushions. Majlis in arabic means a place of sitting or gathering and in many Saudi homes you would find a traditional lounge or sitting area decorated with expensive rugs and cushions as guests are made to sit on the floor. Usually Saudi men would meet and enjoy each others company in a majlis type setting where they would drink qahwa and smoke sheesha together.The majlis area of the home is also used by females for hosting women only parties and dinners.The huge open space makes for a suitable dance floor as many of the female parties here are graced with female singers or DJ's.

Getting back to the lunch, Mrs. Najdi prepared a puri type savoury stuffed with cheese and mince for starters.A puri is an Indian fried bread that rises like a balloon and is hollow in the center after frying.Visit the kitchen section of the blog for more details. The starter was then followed by a mouth watering traditional hijaazi Bukhaari plaau which is basically a rice dish with lamb topped with raisins and carrot. The meat was tender and even though Arab meals are bland with minimum spices, the meal in its entirety was seasoned well with a variety of Arabic and Indian spices. What really amazed me was the knowledge our hosts had with regards to Indian culture, Indian cooking and tradition and knowing that Indian people love their spices. Mrs. Najdi prepared a jalapeno pickle for us which complimented the lightly spiced rice dish.

In Arabic culture hospitality is one of the most highly held virtues. Families pride themselves on being able to generously bestow favours on their guests. Company, whether it be friends, family or strangers, are always expected to be welcome into the home, especially to the dinner table. Guests are offered, and, even more so, encouraged to try everything.  Most Arab hosts would feel disappointed if their guests had not at least sampled everything on the dinner table and even more disappointed if their guests have not eaten until they are more than stuffed....I reckon until BURPING point has been reached lol

After lunch we had green tea and traditional Arabic pastries before heading off to Makka tul Mukarrama. Mr. Najdi drove us to Makkah and was so kind to not only drop us off at the hotel but also to check us into the hotel and accompany us to the room to make sure that everything was perfect for his guests.
I must admit that that manner in which Mr. Najdi and his family received mom and I surpassed our expectations as guests and having traveled to numerous countries across the globe, I have come to the conclusion that Arabian hospitality is undoubtedly the epitome of hospitality world wide!!!