Does skin colour and gender really matter?

As Indians we have had our fair share of discrimination during the Apartheid era but what is sad is that we have chosen to discriminate amongst ourselves..Recently I attended a function and I over heard a grandmother stating the following, " In our family everyone is fair skinned..my grand kids though are chocolate in complexion but I do love them a lot." I thought to myself what a ridiculous statement to make. In a world where kids are born with deformities, cancer and other dreadful diseases shouldn't we be grateful and thankful that the child is normal and healthy. What does skin colour have to do with anything. I have come across parents who actually teach their kids not to associate with darker skinned children.I have also seen parents who tend to have a softer spot for a beautiful fair child over a darker skinned child. In India skin colour is a huge issue..If you browse through the matrimonial columns in a newspaper every groom and his mother is looking for a fair bride even though he looks like a bus knocked him..lol...A woman in India who is dark skinned is usually tormented by society due to her complexion. In most cases finding a groom would be difficult creating tension in the household. The girl could be kind..educated etc but because she is not fair she will be rejected. I recall being told as a child that I am so dark compared to my brother who is fair skinned with brown hair...It never bothered me in the least. 

We don't only discriminate against each other with regards to skin colour but we also discriminate with regards to gender. Recently I heard a horrific story of a dad who refused to see his daughter the day she was born simply because he wanted his first born to be a son. Naturally there was no real bond between the father and daughter. In some homes a male child is favoured over a female child. Some parents have this notion that the son of the home needs to get everything in his plate disregarding the daughters rights totally. Some parents still have this perception of one day the daughter will get married and her husband needs to provide for her. 

Some time back I was introduced to someone through a mutual friend. After a meeting or two I was told that I'm unattractive, unappealing, I have no sense of dress and I know too much. The only plus factor I supposedly had was a bright radiant clean heart. I thought to myself do I really need to be associated with such a fake superficial individual. Naturally I broke ties with the individual. I expect a person to accept me for me..for what I have on the inside. Beauty fades with time... heart and character remains forever. Characterize a person for their actions not their words or superficial beauty. True beauty is not what is on the outside it is what lies within. The sad part is that these same individuals who taunt others about their darker skin tones hurting people in the process actually act holier than thou...running for umra ten times a year.What is the point of praying when you hurting another human being. What is the point of praying when you are treating people in your own family differently due to the colour of their skin.And to all the men out there who seem to think that they are God's gift to women searching for a snow white wake up and smell the coffee.I wonder if miss world exists in your own household.I guess Indians will be Indians and some things will never change for thy kingdom come..I thank you Allah for allowing me to see people beyond their status, money, looks or profession. To me a cleaner and a CEO of a company is given the same level of respect..

Zainub Priya Dala I support you

                                                    (Picture taken from The daily Vox)

                                           

This morning I was interviewed on Channel Islam with regards to the assault case against a Durban-based South African author Zainub Priya Dala. For those of you who are not aware of the story, Zainub Priya Dala was a guest at the “Time of the Writer” literature festival in Durban and as part of the festivals outreach program she traveled to Chatsworth  for a workshop where she addressed learners and students at a community centre. Whilst interacting with the public she was asked which writers she admired to which she replied quite casually Arundhati Roy and Salman Rushdie. After mentioning the name Salman Rushdie some of the learners and teachers stood up and left. Later that afternoon she started receiving threatening text messages from complete strangers asking her to repent as a Muslim woman for admiring the work of Salman Rushdie. Then last week Wednesday whilst driving in Durban she was followed allegedly by three Muslim men in their early thirties. They tried pushing her off the road and eventually when she stopped at a busy intersection, the men assaulted her. They took out a knife and placed it across her throat and then smashed her face with a brick leaving her bleeding on the side of the road before speeding off. Dala mentioned that they screamed at her calling her “Rushdie’s bitch”

In this morning’s interview I was quite shocked that the presenter asked me if the author is Muslim. For a start what does being Muslim have to do with the fact that three Muslim males assaulted a woman. No religion condones violence or beating up people simply because they do not conform to mainstream ideologies. What I find quite interesting is that many South Africans have not even read the Satanic verses to understand why the book is considered blasphemous. The mere fact that they hear the name Salman Rushdie triggers the aggression within them. I have read the Satanic verses and whilst I do not condone everything that the man has written I have to acknowledge the fact that the man is a literary genius. He has an excellent command of the English language and his style of writing is unique. We need to take cognisance of the fact that he has not only written the Satanic verses. Of course, it is this one book that catapulted him to fame for all the wrong reasons but he has written many other books like “Midnight’s children” and “The ground beneath her feet” which were literary masterpieces that received international acclaim.

The assault on this Durban based author allegedly by three Muslim men was an act of cowardice on their part. It was a disgusting act that totally goes against the teaching of Islam or any religion for that matter. The presenter shocked me even more by stating that whilst the act was unacceptable maybe she needed to be more careful and respected the sentiments of the community by not mentioning Salman Rushdie, that perhaps in this case freedom of expression did not apply. He chose quite a silly rationale by stating that if you were in Israel as a traveler would you mention the name Adolf Hitler and speak about the Holocaust.  To which I replied that you cannot compare South Africa to Israel. The demographics of each country is very different. We reside in a democratic country where we are allowed freedom of speech and expression. The public has a go at the president of the country on social media. Muslims residing in this country are not a law unto themselves. We do not live in some isolated island. We reside in an integrated society and we need to respect the laws of this country.

A few months ago Mufti Ismail Menk was assaulted by a group of Muslim men in Durban who did not agree with his views on certain aspects of religion. Does this mean that Mufti Menk should start respecting the sentiments of that community and stop voicing his opinion on live television? The irony about this whole assault case is that no where did the author speak about Islam or religion. No where did she say that she agrees with what is written in the Satanic verses. All she said was that she admires the way he writes.

The three men who assaulted her are idiots in my opinion. It is people like this who tarnish the name of Islam and give Muslims a bad name. Had they not assaulted the author I am sure that no one would have even spoken about the Satanic verses again. What they have done in actual fact is ignite curiosity into people making them aware of a blasphemous book that should not be given any importance in the first place. We always speaking about bringing people into the fold of Islam, but how will Non Muslims view us if we have Muslims bashing up Muslims simply because our opinions on certain topics differ. It is an absolute shame and a disgrace.  At one point in the interview, the presenter mentioned in a subtle manner that perhaps these men have a staunch outlook to religion and the fact that she mentioned Rushdie’s name made them undertake such vile actions. Whether you are staunch in your faith or not is not anyone else’s concern but your own. You have no right to beat up another human being especially a woman and that‘s the bottom line. You may be staunch, you may be preaching your whole life, you may be praying five times a day but you will still go to hell as a result of bad character and the way you treat your fellow human being. As South African Muslims we need to stand up in unison and say that this kind of behaviour is not acceptable within our communities. The Prophet (saw) treated his enemies with respect and kindness. He invited people to Islam peacefully. It is sad that the very same people who claim to love their religion and to love the Prophet (saw) behave like animals contrary to the Quraan and the sunnah of our beloved Prophet Muhammed (saw). 

An interesting question indeed

I was chatting to a patient this afternoon and she asked me a very interesting question... why don't South African Muslim kids learn the sitaar or the tabla or the harmonium considering that some of the greatest singers and musicians coming out of India and Pakistan are in fact Muslim...why has it become a dying art form in this country... I smiled.. I had no answer.... But then I replied that today's Muslims have become fanatical.. one tracked narrow minded. Instead of focusing a child's energy on developing skills we are more concerned about brainwashing a child's mind against other sects or other Muslims who are different to us. Yes we need to teach children about religion.we need to teach them right from wrong..we need to teach them about Islam but we also need to teach them about loving humanity and accepting people for who they are. I think in this country there is a stigma attached to a Muslim person who is a professional dancer or musician. You automatically become branded a bad person with no character. That's how you are judged. On the flip side of things, you can be a drug dealer but if you have a beard and you wearing a kurta you are a good man..We look at others based on outer appearance and yet no one will ever know what lies within. King Abdullah passed away on a Friday.. Muhammad rafi saap passed away in ramadan. They may have been bad to the world. But in His eyes they may have had special qualities within them that pleased their Lord ..qualities that we couldn't see.There was a well known aalim who resided in SA. He passed away a few years ago. He was well versed in Quraan... Arabic etc... He was the guest of presidents... universities etc etc... He had a daughter who was a champion ballerina.. She studied abroad and married a revert but was just as well versed in Islamic studies as her dad.... Through ballet she brought people into the fold of Islam......South African Muslims reside in a cocoon....We are so quick to condemn and judge...I have come across Muslim families who actually teach their kids not to befriend Hindu, Christian or Jewish kids.... the kids are brought up only having Muslim friends.... This is definitely not what Islam teaches us...My patient is right...It is rare to find an Indian child playing a cultural musical instrument in today's times. I think we need to revive this tradition of our forefathers..Now before you start attacking me about halaal and haraam etc... this is my opinion and I'm not here to discuss religion or fight with anyone.so please don't even try going down that road. 

                                             (picture courtesy bilingualkidsrock.com )

Abida's Frail Care Centre

22 October 2014

I returned to the pharmacy a while ago shattered and heartbroken. My colleague and I cried inconsolably as we left aunty Abeida’s frail care centre earlier this afternoon. I have heard about the old age home and read articles about the good work aunty Abeida does but it is only after visiting the home myself did I realise the seriousness of the situation and how strong minded a person has to be in order to look after 17 old people. Aunty Abeida and her caregivers look after the elderly with a smile day in and day out but only they know what they going through on a daily basis. I have no words to praise the love and dedication that she shows towards the elderly. Her paradise is truly made in this world.
When a family friend passed by the pharmacy last week telling us that the facility requires donations in order to survive and continue, my colleague and I decided that we were going to visit the frail care centre ourselves. I got mom to make some cupcakes and cookies and off we went this morning. There are two homes, one for the males and one for the females. The home where the females are living belongs to aunty Abeida. She converted her home into a frail care centre. In the past she use to also reside in the same home. But now due to space issues, she has moved out into a flat that she rents. Arriving at the home, we were greeted by aunty Abeida and the well trained care givers.
Then we walked into the lounge where the women were sitting watching television. Zee Tv seemed to be their favourite channel. Whilst there was a fake smile on their faces, their eyes were filled with an inner sadness. Dorianne and I greeted all of them and we then decided to have tea with them. Over a cup of tea, they each had a turn to talk about themselves. They felt happy that someone was giving them a hearing, someone actually cared and bothered to visit them. As we heard their stories, Dorianne and I broke down literally. We tried hiding our tears, but we couldn’t. They wanted to be hugged, touched...All they crave for is a little bit of love. Our hearts broke when I was confronted by a frail middle aged lady asking me if I’m here to take her home with me. I smiled and told her that I will take you soon to my home for lunch or a picnic. She held Dorianne’s hand and then she broke down, “Why did my children do this to me? After everything I did for them why do I deserve to be here?”
What shocked me most was the fact that many of these women were from well known wealthy families. I was quite disturbed to hear that the one woman is actually the mother of a well known Muslim television presenter. The man is always on his high horse acting proud and full of himself on television. He is always at every charity and community event and yet he and his family have dumped his mother in the old age home and have never visited her in years. The poor 88 year old woman is dying inside from pain and hurt. She told me that every day she watches her son on television. She becomes so emotional that sometimes she walks towards the television and hugs it as though she is hugging her son. Having known this gentleman on a personal level, I have lost all respect for this man and his family. With all the knowledge and education that he has, how can anyone be so heartless towards their own mother? It is because of his mother’s prayers that he is where he is today. The saddest part about the whole thing is that when aunty Abeida calls the family to ask her for funding to look after their mom they always have excuses. They never have money yet they are the big shots at every community event. They keep on telling her that the money is in the account yet it is never transferred. Aunty Abeida showed us text messages as well as financial statements related to the frail care centre. An animal has more feelings for their siblings and parents then these bastard children who have no shame to dump their own flesh and blood in an old age home for someone else to look after their parents.

There was one lady from Roshni. She also hails from a well known wealthy family and her daughterin laws have refused to look after her yet these same tarts are looking after their own mother’s. A few of the lady’s were never married and so they always resided in their parent’s home. When their parents died, their brothers literally threw them out of the house wanting the house for themselves or for their kids. The one lady hailed from a wealthy family residing in Laudium.
Almost everyone there had a sad story to tell. Last week apparently a gentleman in a sports Audi rocked up at the old age home. He simply got off of the car and dumped packets of nappies into the caregiver’s hands for his mom. His mother was a few meters away from him but the asshole did not look at his mother, neither did he greet her. Her heart was shattered. She was heartbroken.
After spending time with the ladies, we bid them farewell and made our way to the frail care home for the men. At present there are eight men living in the house. The rental at the house is R12 000 per month. At present it is Aunty Abeida’s biggest concern. She requires funding and donations to be able to sustain both the homes. In addition to the rent, she needs to pay her staff, buy their chronic medication as well as buy groceries, nappies etc. Her salary bill is in the region of R35 000 per month.

At the men’s home, we were welcomed by old middle aged men basking in the morning sun. They all had their own life stories yet they appeared more happy and jovial than the women. They begged us to join them for a cup of tea and when we decided to leave they insisted that we make a promise to visit them again. The one gentleman’s story broke my heart. It reminded me of the story “Bhaagban.” The children separated their parents. The man resides in the old age home simply because his wife is too old and sickly herself to look after him. She resides alone in a flat in town. Their children do not wish to have anything to do with them. Another man hailed from Mpumalanga and when he recently got critically ill, it took his family two days to come to Jozi to visit him. Aunty Abeida thought the man was dying. When his family returned home, they sent aunty Abeida an email telling her that if he dies, she must go ahead and bury the man. She must not wait for them to arrive.
A few months ago there was an sms circulating by a moulana who visited the frail care centre. The only thing the man sadly noticed was the fact that the elderly are looking at zee tv and that Islamic channels and radio stations needs to be introduced into the home. DSTV has Islamic channels and radio but the elderly love watching zee tv. It doesn’t mean that if you old you are suddenly dead. You are still alive and kicking. You still have dreams. You still allowed song and dance. You still allowed entertainment. I am surprised at how narrow minded this moulana is. Did he not notice that these people are in dire need of love and tender loving care? Did he not notice that they require paint on their room walls and a bigger garden space to enjoy the sunshine. On the topic of Moulana’s I was shocked to hear that another well known preacher’s son took a loan from aunty Abeida years ago when he was in financial difficulties. Years have passed by and the man refuses to return the money. When aunty Abeida approached his father, a respected preacher who talks about halaal and haraam etc on television, preaching night and day to the whole world, she gets told a mouthful. “My son will commit suicide because of you. He does not have the money. He will pay you on his time”. She asked for the money not for herself but to continue sustaining and maintaining the frail care centre.
At present the two homes are located quite a distance apart from each other and it is becoming increasingly difficult for aunty Abeida to manage both homes. She is looking for a premises whereby all 17 people can be accommodated under one roof with a big garden area outside. This is where the Christian and Jewish communities beat us by far. They have proper frail care facilities with their own ambulance services etc. The old people are entertained throughout the day. Why can’t the Muslim community do the same? Muslim business owners need to get together and embark on this kind of a project as soon as possible. There is a dire need for it now. The team at Medix pharmacy have pledged our support to aunty Abeida’s frail care centre and we will assist wherever we can.
As I type this short account of my visit to the frail care centre, the tears continue to roll down my cheeks. To the public and youth out there who are reading this article, I am not urging you but rather I am begging you to visit the home. These old people are longing for love and care. Stop by with some goodies and take a few minutes to chat to them. Crack a few jokes with them. Make them happy. Show them that they are still loved, valued and cared for. Make them feel special. Go pick them up and take them to your home for an afternoon lunch or a picnic at the zoo lake. They don’t go anywhere coz aunty Abeida does not have a minibus vehicle. She only has a car.
I am truly blessed to have been raised by parents who have always welcomed anyone and everyone to our home who required help and assistance whether they were friends or family. By helping someone else and by visiting the elderly, God Almighty opens up our doors in ways that you cannot imagine. He engulfs our own home with blessings, joy and happiness.
To the kids of these middle aged men and women this is my message to you:
Whilst I pray for you and hope that God Almighty changes your evil wicked dirty hearts towards your parents, I also feel pity and sorry for you. Why, because God sees the pain inside the hearts of these old men and women. He sees the hurt and you know what, in the same way that you have hurt your parents, Gods punishment will strike you one day but ten times worst. I have not realised that such despicable human beings exist on this earth until today. At the same time, I thank Allah for opening my eyes and softening my heart towards humanity. After today’s experience I will only strive to be a better human being towards everyone around me especially my parents who have sacrificed their lives for my happiness. I love you mom and dad with all my heart and it is only because of your prayers and hard work that I am who I am today.

If you wish to make a donation to aunty Abeida's frail care centre kindly contact her at: 082 554 0223


23 September 2014


I would like thank those facebook friends who have taken the liberty to contact aunty Abeida and offer their assistance to her after reading the article that was posted yesterday. May Allah reward all of you in abundance. There are a few other points I forgot to mention. The kids of these frail men and women have the nerve to come to the frail care centre and make their parents sign off their belongings to them under duress. I think it may be a good idea if a lawyer visits the home to lend a helping hand when it comes to these issues. These old people are also entitled to their own pension money. The kids need to bring that pension money to their parents. It is so disgusting to think that whilst these rich kids with their wives are enjoying a life of luxury, their parents do not even have a medical aid. These asshole children refuse to get their parents onto a proper medical aid facility. I can not believe that you get women out there who come from low class homes, then marry into wealthy families and before you know it they call the shots, throwing the queen of the home on the street. It tells me a lot about the upbringing of these kind of women. Their aim and goal in life is to acquire wealth, name, fame and money.. But the day the tables turn, I feel these women really sorry. I would also like to clarify and put an end to the false rumours that have been making rounds with regards to Abeidas frail care centre. There are gossip mongers in the community who can not do anything for another human being and yet find it perfectly alright to slander those people who are trying their level best to do good towards others. When aunty Abeida expanded the frail care centre by acquiring another home to house the men, there was a rumour flying around saying that through all the donations she acquires she has bought another house for herself. She is gone rich and abusing funds. How can you slander and accuse someone of doing wrong without finding out the facts. I seen the facts yesterday in black and white. The home that is used to house the men, belongs to a woman by the name of Sharifa and aunty Abeida has to pay a monthly rental of R12 000. I hope this information will now put that rumour to rest once and for all and shut the mouths of aunty Abeida's critics.

No unity, No success

After hearing about the plight of employees working at many Muslim owned companies, I think we should be boycotting these companies first before we decide to tackle Israel..We such a bunch of hypocrites... Many Muslim owned companies function with interest. Whilst the owners of these companies are earning mega bucks the poor employees at ground level are earning meagre non market related salaries. Bribery and corruption is the order of the day in terms of acquiring deals and tenders. I sometimes sit back and sigh with a smile on my face.There are Muslims out there supporting the protests to boycott Israel and boycott Israeli products etc but these same culprits are exploiting their employees. Boycotting this and that makes no difference. The truth of the matter is that the Jews rule and run the global economy. We might as well stop putting our patients at Netcare hospitals as well. After all ain't the major share holders Jewish. The Muslims will always fail because we have no unity. We have thousands of educated graduates but we are too selfish to start up our own hospitals, clinics etc...We too selfish to start up more factories and businesses to create employment. Its all got to stay within the family. The Jews beat us. They have unity. They have organizations in place caring for the elderly, they make sure that every child gets a proper tertiary education. Their elderly is being cared for in specialized old age homes funded by the community...
Muslim communities have no unity. Its all about I want to be better than you. I want to be wealthier than you. I want to have a better car than you.......And then we ask ourselves why are the Muslims being punished all across the globe. We do wrong, we lead our lives contrary to the Quraan and the sunnah and yet we expect Allahs mercy and blessings to fall upon us. We still expect the Muslims to be victorious in the global onslaught we are currently faced with. It ain't happening. Muslims can never and will never attain victory until and unless our own internal affairs are in order. Treat your staff in the same manner as you would treat your family. Win people over into Islam by displaying the character of a Muslim. When you walking in a public space smile. Smiling is a form of sadaqa. Through smiling you can break down the image that the global zionist media has created of Muslims and Islam. I was never a fan of branded clothing especially after visiting the factories where these clothes are manufactured. Some of these factories located in India, Thailand and China utilize child labour. The employees are paid less than one dollar a day. When the clothes return to the USA or France etc a stamp or a logo is attached to the clothing and of course, we , the dumb consumer will pay an exorbitant amount for the garment. I know of Muslim women out there who attended the protest marches in support of Palestine and yet these same women are brand conscious.... We only wear guess, Chanel...etc etc etc. Almost all of the major global brands we have today are linked to Israel.. That is the reality. As Muslims we have failed in creating our own international brands and even when Muslim owned companies do emerge, Muslims will never support that company. We would rather choose to undermine the quality of the product and choose to still buy the same product manufactured by a non Muslim company. We have this warped idea that anything branded or manufactured by a western company is the best and of a far superior quality. That folks is the sad reality of our community....