As I drove off into the sunset yesterday evening heading back home, I couldn't help but ponder and reflect on the lovely afternoon I had at the Sophia book event held at the University of Johannesburg. What was discussed at the event was absolutely relevant and typical of what is happening to many women in South Africa including Indian women from rich and affluent homes. Gender based violence or violence against women is definitely a topic that society needs to bring to the fore. A few days ago a lady cashier at one of the shops mentioned to me that she was surprised to see a well known woman from within the community arriving at the shop with dark glasses on. Upon further investigation she realized that the woman was beaten up and hence the area around her eyes were blue. The abused woman however stated that she knocked herself into the door covering up for her husband. Hence, this woman has stuck in this abusive relationship for many years whilst her husband walks tall in society. Women are selfless creatures. God has made us this way to endure pain and to sacrifice for the sake of our families. But, then I wonder.. why should we be always sacrificing. No matter how powerful a woman is in terms of education or if she is a successful business woman, the minute a woman steps into her house she is immediately taken over by a patriarchal system whereby the husbands rules and regulations take over. Frankly speaking, I do not agree with this. Whilst a man is the head of the house, the wife should be his equal and she should have a right and a say with regards to the running of her home. This issue of gender based violence is prevalent across the globe. In countries like Yemen, Pakistan and Afghanistan women are abused to such an extent that acid is thrown on their faces, thereby disfiguring them for life. Hats off to Shafinaaz Hassim, for her involvement in gender based violence and for creating an awareness about this issue through her books. South Africa needs more women like this to support and encourage these abused women to come out of the closet. Every human being has a right to lead a happy and fulfilling life. If a man has dreams and aspirations so too do women. A woman's dreams don't just fade and wither away the day she marries or becomes a mom or a wife or a daughter in law. My advise to all women out there is this, if you are in an abusive relationship please please please, seek help. Talk to someone..go for counselling. We only live once, so let us all enjoy this life that God has blessed us with. Live your life to the fullest and follow your dreams.
