A few days ago whilst browsing the internet, I came across a post whereby a young woman wrote that she has been receiving proposals from many men, however they are mediocre proposals from middle class families and she does not wish to be a mother running around the house with 5 snotty kids. She desires to marry a rich man who will provide her with a cook and nanny and who takes her abroad on holidays. In yet another bizarre post a Muslim mom suggested that her 27 year old daughter starts wearing more open clothing in order for her to attract men and get married.
I personally found both posts to be absolutely ridiculous. To the young woman who feels the need to marry a rich man, she is clearly living her life in a bubble. I personally think that she is wet behind the ears and should not get married. Here is a classic example of why marriages do not work out. Young women out there expect their lives to be straight out of a Bollywood movie and yet the stark reality is totally contrary to a romantic movie scene. My advise to this young woman is this, why become dependent on a man. Live your own dreams. Go out there, study, earn your own money and reach for the stars. Life has absolutely no guarantees and within my scope of practice I see this everyday. A good friend of mine got married 10 years ago. At the time he got married, he was leading a high flying life and naturally his wife had a queens life. The day his dad got ill and their company went insolvent, his wife left him. So did she love him and marry him because of the person he is or did she only marry him for money. A good couple of years ago my life crossed paths with a young couple from Cape Town. They were only married for a week wen tragedy struck. They were on their way to the airport to catch a plane to Russia. The young woman was from Russia and so her South African husband decided to move to her country of birth as she was not very comfortable residing here. In the accident, the car blew up and whilst the young man managed to escape the blaze of the fire, the young woman was burnt beyond recognition. He blonde, long hair was no more and she was disfigured for life. She stayed in hospital for almost a year undergoing many operations and procedures. She was suicidal. The most heartbreaking part of the story is that after six months of being at her bedside, her husband disappeared never to return. In a letter that he wrote to her, he mentioned that he finds her revolting and the fact that she is no longer beautiful is not good for his image. Did he marry her for love and the person that she is on the inside or did he marry her for her beauty. When her beauty faded he ran away. Last week I met a young man, who was diagnosed with a rare form of Parkinsons a few months ago. His wife and family walked out on him. Did she marry him for his heart and the person he is on the inside... Definitely not.....The moral of the story is that life has no guarantees. We all need to aspire to build our own dreams. You can not make your dreams come true through someone else's hard work. Life does not work that way. To the mother who thinks her daughter needs to start dressing openly in order to attract men, I am of the opinion that this is a very dangerous stance on her part. Is this mother so desperate to get her daughter married? Has her own daughter become a burden to her.God Almighty has written out each and everyone's destiny the day we were born. Wearing open clothing will not guarantee marriage. In fact it will only attract men who are simply in a relationship for a fling with a sexily clad woman. Why should a woman change her style or personality to attract a man? Be yourself, be natural. Be proud of who you are. Be proud of your culture and tradition. If a man sincerely wishes to be with you, he must marry you with all your flaws and weaknesses. If he cant do that then he is just not worth it. Never, ever stoop down to another human being or change yourself for someone else. My dad has always taught me to walk with my head up high and face the world heads on. Motor ahead full steam to achieve your dreams because you are the only person that can shape your own destiny!
