Throughout the ages, one of the most perplexing of man’s actions is that of rape. Criminologists, sociologists, psychiatrists and the like all attempt to understand and rationalize the inherently irrational, without reaching any implicit conclusions. The fact that rape is not confined to any one race, culture, faith, socio-economic class, age or even gender only compounds the issue. Rape is baffling even though we live in an age in which promiscuity, infidelity and pornography have pervaded all spheres of society. Even within the confines of prison are rapists not understood and are consequently relegated to the lowest rungs of prison hierarchies.
Recent heinous events locally as well as high profile convictions abroad compelled me to search for answers to a question that has periodically crossed my mind over the years of my incarceration- Why do men rape?
Instead of re-visiting theories found in textbooks, I embarked on attempts to enter the minds of actual convicted rapists. Under the promise of complete anonymity, several rapists opened up to me in informal discussions. The interviews that I share provide interesting perspectives on this epidemic but should in no way be construed as anything conclusive but merely as a cursory glance into the minds of rapists.
The first offender that I interviewed is a coloured man from a middle class background. After a night of partying with his friends, he was barely sober enough to drive himself home to his wife of roughly a year. He found his wife in bed and proceeded to initiate sex. His advances were turned down vocally and physically. He would not accept her refusal and proceeded to rape her. As a man he believes that he was entitled to sex whenever he wanted it from his wife. He does not believe that she had the right to refuse her husband. His perverse understanding of marriage is that when his wife said “I do” she became his to do with whatever and whenever he wanted. When questioned as to why he did not stop when she cried and fought him, he replied that she deserved to be hurt as she had hurt him more by refusing him.
Another rapist that I talked to is an uneducated black man from a township outside of Pretoria. He and two cronies felt that they had a right to rob white people. Democracy failed to give them a better life, so they felt that they would simply take what they were meant to inherit. During one robbery, they found the lady of the house at home. The leader of the trio said that they would never get to experience an upper class white lady and proceeded to rape her. He then encouraged his mates to also partake as they “shared everything.” They felt that a victim could regain their material possessions; armed robbery was not enough, so something more was needed to leave their mark on the victim.
A young man from a remote rural area was always turned down by women. They mocked him for being “ugly,” “lazy,” and a mommies boy. The only way to prove his manliness and satisfy his desires of sex and revenge on women was to rape them. Over the course of 2 years, he raped his way from town to town before the bright lights of the city attracted him. In the proverbial candy store, he increased his exploits before eventually being apprehended. He claims to have raped over 40 women though he was convicted for “only” 6. For him, the ability to dominate and intimidate proved to be an aphrodisiac. When asked why he did not simply utilize prostitutes, he said that aside from it being a waste of money, prostitutes were “dirty” and would not have satisfied him the way rape did.
Recent heinous events locally as well as high profile convictions abroad compelled me to search for answers to a question that has periodically crossed my mind over the years of my incarceration- Why do men rape?
Instead of re-visiting theories found in textbooks, I embarked on attempts to enter the minds of actual convicted rapists. Under the promise of complete anonymity, several rapists opened up to me in informal discussions. The interviews that I share provide interesting perspectives on this epidemic but should in no way be construed as anything conclusive but merely as a cursory glance into the minds of rapists.
The first offender that I interviewed is a coloured man from a middle class background. After a night of partying with his friends, he was barely sober enough to drive himself home to his wife of roughly a year. He found his wife in bed and proceeded to initiate sex. His advances were turned down vocally and physically. He would not accept her refusal and proceeded to rape her. As a man he believes that he was entitled to sex whenever he wanted it from his wife. He does not believe that she had the right to refuse her husband. His perverse understanding of marriage is that when his wife said “I do” she became his to do with whatever and whenever he wanted. When questioned as to why he did not stop when she cried and fought him, he replied that she deserved to be hurt as she had hurt him more by refusing him.
Another rapist that I talked to is an uneducated black man from a township outside of Pretoria. He and two cronies felt that they had a right to rob white people. Democracy failed to give them a better life, so they felt that they would simply take what they were meant to inherit. During one robbery, they found the lady of the house at home. The leader of the trio said that they would never get to experience an upper class white lady and proceeded to rape her. He then encouraged his mates to also partake as they “shared everything.” They felt that a victim could regain their material possessions; armed robbery was not enough, so something more was needed to leave their mark on the victim.
A young man from a remote rural area was always turned down by women. They mocked him for being “ugly,” “lazy,” and a mommies boy. The only way to prove his manliness and satisfy his desires of sex and revenge on women was to rape them. Over the course of 2 years, he raped his way from town to town before the bright lights of the city attracted him. In the proverbial candy store, he increased his exploits before eventually being apprehended. He claims to have raped over 40 women though he was convicted for “only” 6. For him, the ability to dominate and intimidate proved to be an aphrodisiac. When asked why he did not simply utilize prostitutes, he said that aside from it being a waste of money, prostitutes were “dirty” and would not have satisfied him the way rape did.
Another conversation was with a white man who is over 6 feet tall and weighs over 120 kilograms. He and his girlfriend often took care of his niece as her mother worked long hours. He did not tell anyone that he was into kiddie pornography and soon fantasized about his niece. One day he was left to babysit the child alone and his fantasy became a reality, as he raped the 8 year old girl.
Another white man raped or sodomized children under his care as a music professor, who tutored kids at the local church. In court, he claimed to have raped the children as an expression of his immense love for the children. Now, as a born-again, he rationalizes his acts by saying that he only did to those kids what his uncle had done to him as a young boy.
After these and other discussions a small part of me is able to comprehend the atrocities that took place but for the most part I am more perplexed than before. Rape defies logic and reason and why men rape will perhaps always remain a mystery.
