The man behind " An Emerging Mystery"

When I made the decision to move to Riyadh a few years ago, I was bombarded with negative comments from friends and family with regards to Arab people and the Arab culture. I was told that within a month I would return to South Africa as Arabs are extremely bad people. Of course, I did not allow these opinions to influence my mindset and perception of the region. In every country you can find the good, the bad and the ugly.  I had the best time of my life in Saudi Arabia. I met and interacted with people from all over the globe and my best friends are now Saudis. Personally, I believe that the media is partly to be blamed for projecting the nation in a negative light.  However, one gentleman in particular, an Englishman now residing in the Middle East is creating waves across the Gulf through his photography. Sebastian Farmborough aims to showcase the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia in a positive light through his own personal interactions with the local people of the country. It was an absolute pleasure conversing with him and I want to thank him for taking the time out to answer my questions. Read on to find out more in his own words...

1. So, tell me, who is Sebastian Farmborough? 
Well, that's a good question. Nobody has asked me that one before and to be honest with you, it is not something I have given a great deal of thought to. Photography is my life and producing images that move people is what it is all about for me.I was born and educated in England, but since then I have lived in the US, Spain, Saudi Arabia, Chile and now the United Arab Emirates. I love languages and interacting with different cultures, it makes me feel as though i am constantly learning something which I value greatly. 

2. Who or what inspired you to become a photographer?  
 It was the work of Bill Brandt that drew me into the world of photography, before that I wanted to be an architect. I became captivated by the way he used light and texture to mislead the onlooker into seeing something that was actually never there. 

3. When and why did you move to Saudi Arabia? What is it about Saudi culture that fascinates or intrigues you?
I moved to Saudi Arabia from Spain in 2003. Spain is a wonderful place, but I knew that financially I was not going to be able to advance my photographic aspirations there. While the principle motivator behind the move might have been a monetary one. I also wanted to find out what the region was really like, having been in Manhattan during September the 11th and exposed to the media coverage that followed. My friends and relatives strongly advised me not to go, but I was sceptical and wanted to find out for myself. 

What fascinates me most about Saudi culture is that it is so misunderstood. Saudis actually have a great many qualities which we Westerners would do well to learn from. I really envy how close their family relationships are and admire their generosity and hospitality. The respect they show to elder generations is wonderful and their sense of humour really was a pleasant surprise. 
However, the best thing about Saudi Arabia is Ramadan. During that month, it is impossible to walk down the street at sunset without somebody inviting you into their home to break the fast. It is inclusive, it does not matter if you have a family or not, or whether you are the same religion or not, everyone just wants you to join in and that spirit really is infectious.  

4. Whilst the rest of the world has a negative perception about the Kingdom and its people, particularly Saudi women, why have you decided to portray them in such a positive light? 
Personally, I am fed up of seeing images of veiled women that look like obscure, oppressed objects and of angry looking bearded men. It is no wonder that the Western perception of the Kingdom is so negative.  I had some wonderful experiences there and I found it very disheartening when my well educated Western friends just did not believe me. They often accused me of being brainwashed, which is ironic really. 
There is a different side to Saudi Arabia, one which the Western media has failed to cover. It is that which I plan to portray. I am an artist, not a journalist so I can choose to focus on the positive. Of course, this is not the whole story, but these are chapters that have yet to be told and I am convinced that they would better enable Westerners to understand and ultimately accept such a dramatically different culture from their own. 

5. What advise would you give to expats residing in the Kingdom?
There are two types of expats in the Kingdom, those who focus on what they cannot do and those that focus on what they can. My advice is to make sure you are the latter. Learn Arabic and get out there and meet the people. I know this is more difficult for women, but you can find ways. Integration is so rewarding. Try and find the best of both worlds.

6. What is your opinion with regards to the polygamous relationships that exist in the Middle East?
Personally, I would not want to be involved in a polygamous relationship. I do not believe that you can love in equal measure, but I do understand the reasoning behind it.  

7. What do you think about interfaith marriages?
The romantic in me would like to think that love conquers all, but a marriage is between two families, not just two people so it does represent a major stumbling block, particularly once the children arrive.  Personally, I wouldn't mind my wife being of another faith, but how would her family react? And how would we raise our children? See what I mean, it's complicated. 

8.  If you could be granted one wish and have any skill or talent in the world, what would it be?
Oh, that is an easy one, I would like to be an awful lot better at learning languages. It would be amazing to be able to communicate with everyone. 

9.  What are your favourite websites? 
Favourite websites, hmm, i would probably have to say Facebook. I have moved around so much over the years that if it weren't for that one, I wouldn't have any friends. 

10.  Where do you see yourself five years from now? What are your plans for the future?
Once I have reduced the misconceptions surrounding Saudi Arabia. I would like to do the same with Iran or indeed Pakistan. These three countries are where most of my friends are from and that certainly would not have been the case had I paid attention to our media. 
My photography is all about cross-cultural communication and making people realise that essentially we are all the same. 

11. Define success... What does it mean to you?
Success for me is to leave a legacy. I love the idea that my photographs will continue to bounce around the globe long after I am gone.

Once again, thank you Sebastian for taking the time to answer these questions. Desert Moon wishes you all the best in your future endeavours!!! 

Check out Sebastian Farmborough's interview on BBC ARABIC

POLYGAMY- A LIFE OF MARITAL BLISS OR DESPAIR

This article was written some time back....

Polygamy is very much condoned within the Islamic faith provided that each wife is taken care off equally in all spheres of life. However, in most instances the man is often more accommodating to the needs of the newest wife as she is probably younger and more beautiful than the other wives and in most cases the man forgets about his responsibilities towards his first or second wife thereby causing tension and arguments within the household. A few weeks a go a middle aged woman arrived at the hospital suffering from severe anxiety and virtually on the brink of a nervous breakdown. Her husband of thirty years brought home a second wife who is the same age as her eldest daughter. She was use to living in a mansion with her family without having to share the house with another woman. Her husband instructed her to vacate her belongings from the first floor to make space for the second wife. This whole situation was a bitter pill for her to swallow and hence she landed up in the emergency department.
I am not a big fan of polygamous relationships and I guess this stems from the fact that I am the only daughter and was brought up in a manner where I never shared anything with anyone. I am also very possessive of my dad. Within my immediate family there is only one case of a polygamous marriage and hence when news of this relationship went viral it was pretty much a shock for the family and only with time did everyone come to accept the situation.

Whilst many people out there are under the impression that all Saudi women are for polygamous relationships the truth is a woman is a woman any where in the world. In general no woman who loves her husband can swallow the idea of him sharing a bed with another woman. In some cases, the jealousy is so great that the first wife goes through extreme measures to prevent her husband from taking on a second wife. A few weeks ago a Saudi man was deprived his right to a second honeymoon after the judge sentenced him to nine months in jail along with a hundred lashes after his wife reported his pre-marital illicit relationships to the police. The frustrated and hurt woman wanted to take revenge on her husband after he informed her that he would be traveling to a neighbouring Arab country to acquire a new second wife. Unable to bare the torment of his actions the woman handed over DVD's and sex tapes to the police depicting her husband engaging in sexual activities with various other women prior to his marriage to her.
The most gruesome story of revenge occurred a few years ago in Kuwait when a jealous first wife set the wedding tent on fire that was packed with revellers celebrating her husband's marriage to a second wife. 57 people were burnt to death in this incident and the court ruling demanded that the woman be sentenced to death as well for her merciless action. Many western women who land up marrying a Saudi men make sure that a marriage contract is drawn up with a clause that prevents the husband from taking on a second wife. These women become extremely possessive of their husbands to the point where one blogger within the Saudi blogosphere wrote a post " A letter to Saudi women- Please leave my husband alone" . I wonder if her husband is a Tom Cruise or Shah Rukh Khan look alike for women to be ogling at her husband. I always believe that it takes two to tango.

On the flip side of things, I came across an article in a local newspaper with the title ' Sharing is caring- why many Saudi women don't mind polygamy". The article brings to the fore a serious issue within the Kingdom and that is spinsterhood. There are approximately two million unmarried Saudi women thus far and this number is most likely to increase in the future. Many of these spinsters apparently do not mind being in a polygamous relationship out of fear of being alone without kids for the rest of their lives. With an evident shortage of unmarried men, there are some Saudi women who have considered polygamy as an option. I have come across women that are quite happy to be in polygamous marriages. A colleague of mine is married to two women and they all live together in one house. They look after each others kids and also travel together. A few months ago I seen a Saudi man arriving at a hotel in a bus with his four wives and 26 children. The wives were quite happy to be in each others company and took turns to oversee the children.
I have also come across Saudi women who do not mind if their husbands take on a second wife and will actually go through great lengths in finding a suitable second wife for him . Usually the second wife is someone that is closely acquainted to the first wife, most probably a cousin or a close friend. I guess its a case of 'rather the devil I know, than the devil I don't know'.

Whilst there is always two sides to a coin, I am personally not comfortable with the idea of being in a polygamous relationship with anyone. No matter how wealthy or powerful the man could be, I can not be the cause of breaking up someone else's home. I have had proposals from many Saudi men asking me to be a second wife and my answer has always been the same. NO..NEVER....To the women out there, how would you react if your husband rocked up with a new, younger, sexy woman on his arm and asked you to vacate the first floor of your home in order to make space for her? If there are any men out there who are in a polygamous marriage situation, I would like to know your thoughts and opinions with regards to this subject matter.

Source:
http://english.alarabiya.net/articles/2012/09/27/240384.html

http://gulfnews.com/news/gulf/saudi-arabia/saudi-man-caught-with-sex-videos-of-himself-sentenced-1.1077065

http://www.thenational.ae/news/world/middle-east/woman-who-set-fire-to-wedding-tent-killing-57-has-death-penalty-upheld-in-kuwait

A few safety tips for women

The facebook page Voice of Democracy shared this useful piece of information on my profile page. I thought I'd share this important info on my blog as well.

Share & Spread the Message Guys!

Girls Be Careful -
"Friends please share this info. with your
sisters..."
1) What should a woman do if she finds
herself alone in the company of
a strange male as she prepares to enter a lift
in a high-rise apartment late
at night?
Experts Say: Enter the lift. If you need to
reach the 13th floor, press all
the buttons up to your destination. No one
will dare attack you in a lift
that stops on every floor.
2) What to do if a stranger tries to attack you
when you are alone in your
house, run into the kitchen.
Experts Say: You alone know where the chili
powder and turmeric are
kept.And where the knives and plates are.
All these can be turned into
deadly weapons. If nothing else, start
throwing plates and utensils all
over.
Let them break. Scream. Remember that
noiseis the greatest enemy of a
molester. He does not want to be caught.
3} Taking an Auto or Taxi at Night.
Experts Say: Before getting into an auto at
night, note down its
registration number. Then use the mobile to
call your family or friend
and pass on the details to them in the
language the driver
understands .Even if no one answers your
call, pretend you are in a
conversation. The driver now knows
someone has his details and he will
be in serious trouble if anything goes
wrong. He is now bound to take
you home safe and sound. A potential
attacker is now your de facto
protector!
4}What if the driver turns into a street he is
not supposed to - and you
feel you are entering a danger zone?
Experts Say: Use the handle of your purse or
your stole (dupatta) to wrap
around his neck and pull him back. Within
seconds, he will feel choked
and helpless. In case you don’t have a
purse or stole just pull him back
by his collar. The top button of his shirt
would then do the same trick.
5} If you are stalked at night.
Expert Say: enter a shop or a house and
explain your predicament. If it is
night and shops are not open, go inside an
ATM box. ATM centers always
have security guards. They are also
monitored by close circuit television.
Fearing identification, no one will dare
attack you.
After all, being mentally alert is the greatest
weapon you can ever have.

Please spread it to all those women u care
for their safety.

Boob smackers or Eye flirters

 

           http://www.clickrally.com/saudi-women-right-to-vote-first-time/ - Picture

"Phew.....Saudi women are dangerous" he muttered to himself whilst making his way through the main entrance of the pharmacy. Mr. H is a tall, broad shouldered man with an extremely high level of intelligence. He also happened to be my witty colleague and partner in crime during our night shift duty at the hospital.

" Excuse me, why do you think that Saudi women are dangerous.Any woman can be a femme fatale if she wishes to be one." I remarked.
' Well, I just got sandwiched in between two boob smackers in the lift" He continued with a huge grin on his face. According to Mr. H Saudi women can be divided into four categories:

1. Category one: The Ultra conservative Saudi woman.

This is a Saudi woman that is fully covered from head to toe in a huge over sized jilbaab. Gloves and socks usually complete the attire. In many instances the eyes are also not fully exposed....The woman would most probably be married to an extremely religious man as well.

2. Category two: The Boob/ Ass smackers

These are usually voluptuous full figured Saudi women adorned in tight fitting abayas naturally exposing all the curves... These women prefer to walk with their bosoms out to tempt desperate Saudi men or let's just say men in general.

3. Category three: The eye flirters

These are women who are adorned in abayas with a face veil but make sure that they leave theirs home with elaborate, striking eye make up. These women painstakingly go to great lengths to make sure that their eyes look super sexy and gorgeous with eye shadow, eye liner,fake eye lashes and of course coloured contact lenses . Some of these women call in a professional make up artist to their homes even on a normal week day prior to going out shopping at a mall or frequenting a restaurant with friends. I guess its a case of ' let the eyes do the talking'

4. Category four: The frustrated young housewife

This is usually a Saudi woman who is in a polygamous relationship and thus shares her husband with two or three other women.She is also most probably the newest addition to hubby's collection of wives lol. She is smart and trendy and makes sure that her wealthy hubby spoils her with designer wear. Since she hardly spends much time with mister, she chooses to look for fun else where, a case of " when the cats away the mice will play." This type of woman will be out frequenting hotels, coffee shops,hospitals and malls trying to seek pleasure and satisfaction from a young Saudi male who is more or less in the same age category as her.

Well, there you have it folks; a non- Saudi male's perception of Saudi women. I must admit I was laughing myself into stitches as he babbled along jovially trying to explain each category to me...
Oh well, working with such fun individuals always made the night shift a less painful experience. As the saying goes, ' Time flies when you're having fun.'

Sophia - a novel by Shafinaaz Hassim

Shafinaaz Hassim is an artist who dabbles in words and colours. She lectures in Sociology. Being an avid fan of Rumi, it is not surprising that she is an accomplished poet as well as a women's rights activist. She is also the author of Daughters are Diamonds (2007), Memoirs For Kimya (2009) and Belly of Fire (ed 2011). Her latest book Sophia- a novel has received critical acclaim all over South Africa to the point that during the premiere night of the movie Race II, at Avalon Suncoast South Africa, the group director, AB Moosa made special mention about the book in lieu of his links to the Real Men Campaign against gender-based violence, and presented a copy to the Indian Consul-General. Having received full coverage with regards to the launch of her latest book in the Sunday Times, The Post and various other national publications, I am truly honoured to be able to interview a charismatic and dynamic woman who has chosen to highlight pertinent and hard hitting social issues that undoubtedly affects all societies across the globe through her books. Read on to find out more in her own words.

Nationality: South African

Education Background: I studied undergrad Bachelor of Architectural Studies at Wits, and then changed course and undertook an Arts degree instead. I completed a Masters in Social Science at the University of the Witwatersrand in 2003

Pet Peeve: People who don't have basic social ettiquette and respect, and who display racism, sexism, superiority etc.

Drink that you would order at a coffee shop: Cappuccino or Chai Latte

1. Firstly, thank you for agreeing to be interviewed despite your very hectic lifestyle.So tell me who is Shafinaaz Hassim? Tell me a little bit about your background. Where were you born? Basically a brief synopsis of your life from a child up until university.
I grew up in a small city called Polokwane and went to a local school in an area that was under apartheid times, reserved for children who came from Indian families. Growing up in a close-knit community meant that everyone knew everyone else, and im grateful for the nurturing environment that familiarity provided. I moved to Johannesburg when I was 18 in order to study Architecture at Wits, before I found my delight in the Arts faculty. I had always enjoyed writing, but only once I had the choices of psychology, sociology, african literature, philosophy and political science, did I realise that I'd found my place. My Masters thesis provided the inspiration for my first book which was published in 2007, dealing with women's biography and aspects of how women are objectified and the stigma of perceived deviance that they face in traditionalist societies.

2. Focusing on your latest book Sophia, the main theme of the book highlights domestic violence within a typical South African Indian family. What inspired you to write a book about a pretty much taboo subject within the Indian community? Have you been a victim of abuse or have you come across family members or friends that are a part of an abusive relationship?
As a trained sociologist, with a specific interest in women's narrative my first book, Daughters are Diamonds, really documented the begins of my research into womens lives, and the various themes that came about as a result of being subjected to the honour code. And from the courses taught based on the book, and writings that developed afterwards, I realised that the issue of domestic violence needed more debate and in order to do so from within the Indian Muslim community, I started writing it using fiction instead of analysis. I wanted to reach an even larger audience with this topic, taking debates beyond the realm of academia. The characters in the book are constructed of various interview data from stories of abuse.

3. Was writing always your passion? When did the realization set in that you wanted to pursue a career in writing?
I've kept a journal since the age of about 12, and delighted in making regular notes of my thoughts and experiences. these written journals soon became yearly cd's with documents copied off my computer, and then i began a blog called http://memoirs4kimya.blogspot.com in 2005. When the writings began to collect an audience (something I hadnt anticipated) the writing changed from personal reflections to poetry and prose that reflected the work that i was doing. In 2009 i published a blog to book collection of poetry and prose, called Memoirs for Kimya. It is a tribute to the spiritual reflections of Rumi's adopted daughter, Kimya.

4. Your books have received international recognition.I am sure that the journey though was not all smooth sailing. What were some of the hardships you faced in terms of following your dream and wanting your books to be recognized on a national as well as an international level?
Well, when my first book was launched, I could never have anticipated that it would turn national bestseller of its own accord. The intention was merely to take research that may have stood on a library shelve and put it out onto the public domain so to speak in order to allow people to read and comment on its findings. A year later I was invited to present a course based on the book at UKZN, and while presenting courses, seminars even at Humboldt in Berlin and at the University of the Witwatersrand, I began to write up the stories in fiction, either short stories, a collection of which was published as part of a collaborative work in 'Belly of Fire' in 2011 and this novel, 'SoPhia' in 2012. The response and demand for stories has taken a snowball effect, and has been able to penetrate even commercial spaces in a rather small reading market as is South Africa. Internationally, books and ebooks are sold online via the various Amazon portals as well as in the bookchains in the Emirates, and in India.

5. What topics and subjects are you the most passionate about?
Women's issues, the cultural laws that administer womens lives, and issues that pertain to how Muslim women are perceived and portrayed by media, are topics of great interest to me. I also take a great interest in ways to improve literacy in general.

6. If someone could grant you one wish and you could choose to have any skill or talent in the world, what would it be?
  I wish that I could heal pain. We're a world so filled with trauma, that I wish I could help to dissolve and erase some of it.

7. What are your favourite websites?
Twitter of course :) I get all my headlines, updates, news and interaction at Twitter.

8. What are your thoughts on polygamous relationships?
  I think that transparency is important. In many instances, women are unaware of their rights and men are not mindful of their responsibilities and so then, instead of working towards strengthening our social structure, as is the case with numerous examples in SA society, women and children end up being put to a disadvantage in terms of inheritance, issues of care, etc. if men claim that their right to remarry is a sign of Righteousness they need to also be made conscious of their responsibilities, the implications of equal treatment and fairness and not use it to exploit the women.

9. If you were not a poet/lecturer/author what would you be doing?
 I would be living on an island or at the coast, painting, of course...

10.What is your opinion about interfaith marriages?
 People make decisions on how to live together based on mutual understanding, and interfaith marriage is largely dependent on the intention of each partner and the responsibility to each other as well as their belief system. If how you felt about something as defining as a life philosophy or belief was greatly opposed to how your partner felt, the long term status of that relationship might not be guaranteed. But I believe that early on, they would need to communicate what their marriage would mean in bringing up children, etc. If they're able to define and agree on the parameters, it can work.

11. Define success...What does success mean to you?
  I may figure this out when I arrive there someday...for now, there's still much work to do

12. Where do you see yourself five years from now? What are your future plans?
I continue writing, without a timeline, as long as a shift in thinking can happen with every project, the future will take care of itself

13. As you do know that Saudi Arabia is a country where limited women's rights exist. Women are not allowed to drive and can only pursue a career path within specific sectors mainly teaching and healthcare. Only recently the King has afforded women the right to vote and be a part of the Shuraa Council. What advise would you give to Saudi women who are trying to make their voices heard within a dominant patriarchal society?
Saudi women should be writing more, making their voices heard in online and print media, and speaking in forums of engagement where womens issues can be raised and discussed, as well as where women are able to learn and be empowered around their rights.

14. What advice would you give to a young student who wants to pursue a career in writing?
Best advice if you want to be able to write, is to read! Read in every genre that you enjoy, and keep a creative journal to write in. But first, read.

15. Through your books you have given the public an opportunity to change their mindset with regards to domestic violence and abuse. What other methods could we as a society adopt in order to bring about effective change?
I think that as a society, we need to stop thinking that crime affects someone else, and that domestic violence is a private issue. another problem we encounter is victim blaming. we need to take responsibility as a society, and instead of standing back, we need to get involved wherever we can in order to find solutions.

16. I assume that you follow the Islamic faith. Do you think that our Imaams in the masjid can play a bigger role in terms of highlighting social issues such as violence against women, drug addiction and abuse against the elderly?
I definitely think that raising the issue in the mosques will do much to create a greater awareness of social ills and more than that, the lobbying of our Imaams around community issues, and their ability to bring the community together with the intention to put proactive programmes together to eradicate the problems can be a progressive and effective method. It can already be seen that faith based organisations garner much support for various forms of activism around political and societal issues.

Once again, thank you Shafinaaz for taking the time to answer these questions. Desert Moon wishes you all the best in your future endeavours!!!
If you wish to get in touch with Shafinaaz you may contact her through her twitter and facebook pages.
Twitter: www.twitter.com/shafinaaz or @shafinaaz

Facebook: www.facebook.com/ShafinaazHassim

You may also interact with her through her blog. I highly recommend you to visit her blog. Her writings are filled with inspiration and her poetry is simply thought provoking.
Blog Address: www.memoirs4kimya.blogspot.com


A brief review of the book Sophia - a novel in the authors own words.

The book's main characters, Zarreen and Akram, are a 30-something married couple, with three children, living in Johannesburg. Their marriage is an extremely violent one, but Zarreen believes it is her social duty to keep silent for the sake of her children. Her parents think she's happy. Akram is a successful businessman who likes to win. As a foil to the main couple, Zarreen's brother and his wife experience the typical ups and downs of married life, but misunderstandings never turn violent. We are made to see the impact that events have on each of the children. Zarreen relies on her sister for advice, and mostly she confides in her housekeeper, Selma, with whom she shares a friendship, but she in turn dispenses advice to Selma to leave an abusive boyfriend - advice she doesn't take in her own marriage.

SoPhia was written not only to tell a story, but to move beyond the assumptions we make about abusive relationships and to reveal avenues for healing both victims and perpetrators. It is about what we expose young children to, and how we treat each other, and ourselves.

'Sophia' is published by WordFlute, and is retailing at R180. The book is available at selected stores in South Africa but can be purchased online as well.

JUST A CENTURY AGO A WOMAN RULED IN THE GULF

Article written by Sultan Sooud Al - Qassemi 

In no other region of the world does the tired old cliché that "behind every great man is a great woman" hold more true than in the Middle East. And yet women have not always played a role only from behind the curtains that are their men but have also occasionally stepped up to share the burden and privilege of leading their people.

Ironically, some of the most famous women in the world are those who have reigned in the Middle East. Cleopatra, a direct descendant of a general in the army of Alexander the Great, lover and seducer of two emperors of Rome, is one such example. Another is the Queen of Sheba, who travelled from what is believed to be Yemen at great peril to herself to meet King Solomon in Jerusalem.

Less well-known but equally powerful was Sultana Ismat of Egypt, known as Shajarat Al Durr, who almost single-handedly brought to an end the dynasty started by the great warrior Saladin 800 years ago and heralded the rule of the emancipated Mamluk Sultanate that spanned more than three centuries.

Interestingly, among the 15 documented Islamic female monarchs, two women ruled 11th century Islamic Yemen back-to-back for many decades. According to Fatima Mernissi's book The Forgotten Queens of Islam, not only did Asma and subsequently Arwa al Sulayhiyya regularly attend the council of ministers with their faces uncovered and debating matters of state, but more significantly the imams of the mosques would repeatedly proclaim the Friday sermons in their names, a gesture signalling who called the shots in the country.

All these women ruled many centuries ago and in more progressive and developed societies far away from the conservative Gulf. Surely none would be allowed to rule here, especially not in the strict society that is Wahhabi Saudi Arabia?

Wrong. In the early 20th century, Princess Fatima Al Zamil qualified as one ruler. A blue-blooded lady born of a marriage between members of the Al-Rasheed and Shammar tribes - which makes her a relative of the current Saudi Arabian King Abdullah - she ruled the province of Ha'il from 1911 to 1914 as an administrator of her minor grandson's estate.

Princess Fatima ran the affairs of her society and people from the historic and lavish three-storey Barzan Palace, over which she had full authority. She received foreign guests such as the British writer and politician Gertrude Bell, a close friend and associate of TE Lawrence (of Arabia). She allowed her visitor to photograph her in her residence with her long beaded hair adorning her chest and with her face uncovered, something that is taboo for many Arab women almost a century later.

What is possibly the most significant fact of Princess Fatima's reign wasn't that she ruled over the now demolished 300,000 square metre Barzan Palace, but that she was chosen by the elders of the two most powerful tribes of the central Arabian peninsula in what may be one of the few exercises of tribal democracy in the Gulf.

One may ponder the obstacles that would hinder women from reaching the top post once again. Religion is often used by conservatives to maintain the status quo. However, in modern history, years before Hillary Clinton decided to run for president of the (secular) US, more than one woman has reached the helm of power in Bangladesh, a country founded on Islamic tenets.

It could be argued that the societies of the Gulf are tribal and therefore it is unthinkable for women to lead. But Pakistan, like the Gulf, is a patriarchal, tribal and male-dominated society, yet women have been elected to the post of prime minister and speaker of parliament. Even in the secular sphere it was Turkey that gave continental Europe its second elected female leader after Norway, an honour that a French woman has yet to achieve.

Today, one cannot ignore the roles that three female leaders are playing in the Gulf. In the UAE, Sheikha Fatima has been directly involved in making education and work more accessible for women. In Bahrain, Sheikha Sabeeka famously dismissed a proposal that there should be a quota system for women entering parliament, calling it "discriminatory"; she wanted women to enter according to their merits. In Qatar, Sheikha Mouza heads the influential Qatar Foundation that was able to attract Ivy League universities to the small emirate as well as invite various global figures to the Doha Debates that are held under her personal patronage.

There naturally exists no position that should be out of reach for women, neither before nor after a palace called Barzan.

Source:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sultan-sooud-alqassemi/just-a-century-ago-a-woma_b_832961.html

DIVORCING SAUDI STYLE - Part 2

http://free-infotainment.blogspot.com/2010/03/divorced-cakes.html- Picture

Staying on the theme of divorce, after reading the article I posted a few days ago many of you out there felt pity for Saudi women as they seemed to be the poor victims whilst Saudi men took on the character of being the dominant villains. Sorry to burst your bubble folks but this scenario is definitely not true. As I mentioned earlier there is always two sides to a story. Let us now examine some of the weird and bizarre reasons why a Saudi woman would divorce her husband. Whilst surfing the internet I once again came across some really hilarious articles.

A wife put an end to her husband’s romantic conduct when she filed for divorce after he kissed her in front of their children, Riyadh daily reported.

According to the wife, for years she had suffered from her husband’s overrated romance. She said that she had warned him many times not to be over romantic with her in front of the kids.For five years, she said, she had condoned his behavior, until he kissed her recently in front of the children again. She then filed for divorce.

"A Saudi Arabian woman filed for divorce after her new husband left her at an airport because shed been on the toilet for too long. The couple were returning from their honeymoon in Malaysia when he returned home from Kuala Lumpur airport because she had been in the bathroom for too long. Im not sure how long constitutes too long and an acceptable reason to leave without her."

After 30 years of marriage, cynics might say most husbands and wives would have seen quite enough of each other, thank you very much.But not in the case of one Saudi Arabian man who managed to live with his wife for three decades without setting eyes on her face.Not that he had much choice about it. His 50-year-old wife followed the tradition of her native village near the south-western city of Khamis Mushayt and kept her features veiled at all times.Until one night last month, that is, when the husband was finally overcome by curiosity and tried to lift his wife's veil as she slept to take a look at her face.

Tradition: In the village in South West Saudia Arabia, women keep their features veiled at all times.It was an error he is unlikely to be given a chance to repeat for his outraged wife woke up during his sneak peek and is now demanding a divorce.

'After all these years, he tries to commit such a big mistake,' she told Saudi newspaper Al-Riyadh after leaving the house in disbelief.

She said her husband apologized and promised never to do it again, but she insisted she wanted a divorce. It is not the first example of Saudi husbands with wives forever shrouded in mystery.There was the case of Ali al-Qahtani whose wife had been wearing a face veil for the entire ten years of their marriage. When he tried to take it off she threatened to leave and only decided to stay after he swore never to try again.And neither the husband or children of Om Rabea al-Gahdaray, 70, have ever seen her face. It was a family tradition, also followed by her mother and sisters, which her husband accepted and never tried to change, she said. When asked how she could have children without her husband ever seeing her face, she replied: "Marriage is about love, not faces."Many Islamic countries such as Saudi Arabia and Iran require women to cover their faces in public but in the privacy of their homes there is no such compulsion.But always remaining veiled - even in front of your husband - is not an Islamic practice, but a very old tradition practiced by a tiny minority of women in remote areas of Gulf countries.Most examples of it are in Saudi, one of the most conservative of countries.

Saudi courts should grant divorce for a woman who discovers that her husband is a smoker and that she is harmed by his habit, a judge in the Gulf Kingdom was reported on Thursday as saying.“A wife should be granted divorce and separated from her husband in case she discovers that he is a smoker,” judge Ibrahim Al khudairi told the Saudi Arabic language daily Al Watan.“If the woman tells the court that she has been hurt by her husband’s smoking, like suffering from allergy or chest problems, then she should be divorced.”

Furious after her husband stores her name on his cellular phone as Guantanamo, a Saudi woman files divorce after the notorious American prison, saying it is enough of a reason to end a 17-year marriage.The unnamed woman, 30, reportedly called her husband on his mobile phone, which he had forgotten at home, and saw the word "Guantanamo" appears on the screen, Saudi's al-Watan newspaper reported.The furious wife, who lives in Jeddah, immediately filed for divorce and argued that the nickname shows her husband, is a tyrannical person that she could no longer live with despite 17 years of marriage. The husband, however, defended himself by claiming that the nickname was not about how he sees her, but rather to maintain his own privacy."I don't want people sitting around me to know that this is my wife calling," he told local papers.The controversial Guantanamo Bay detention center, managed by the U.S. military in Cuba, became the symbol of torture and oppression in George W. Bush's "war on terrorism" launched after the Sept. 11, 2001 attacks.For other Saudi husbands it is common practice to create alias' for their wives on their phones in a bid to secure their privacy.Saudi-resident Khaled al-Maliki chose the nickname "criminal" for his wife because he says she stresses him out and calls him all the time to ask where he is. Maliki also cites privacy as the reason for giving his wife the nickname."Sometimes my friends use my mobile phone or might be next to me when she calls," he told Asharq al-Awsat. "I don't want anyone to know my wife's phone number."Khaled Omar said he stored his wife "salary" because "she has no mercy when it comes to spending."Abu Sultan decided to store his wife under a common Arabic man's name "Saeed al-Hindi" so that people will not know his wife is calling.But for Dr. Mohamed al-Motawaa, professor of psychology at the al-Imam Mohamed bin Saud Islamic University, these names are provocative and insulting."These names indicate the type of relationship between husband and wife," he told Asharq al-Awsat newspaper. "These names are like a bullet aiming at the woman's heart, especially if the kids hear them," he said. "This is has a negative impact not only on the wife, but also on the kids when they grow up."

A colleague and I were both laughing in stitches after reading the last article. I then asked him what nickname would he use for his wife and whilst still very much in a fit of laughter he replied 'Hitler'. So gentlemen out there what pseudonym or alias would you create for your wife on your mobile phone? This ought to be an interesting one.

DIVORCING SAUDI STYLE - Part 1

http://rt.com/news/saudi-divorce-radio-disobedient-248/ - picture

Saudi Arabia is reported to be a country that has one the highest divorce rates in the world. Almost one fifth of all marriages do not last and this figure seems to be increasing annually. According to Arab news some time back, Saudi women are to blame for most of the divorces as they enter into marriage type relationships without being adequately trained domestically.Whilst there is some truth in this, I personally believe that there is always two sides to a story.After all, it takes 'two to tango'. Whilst researching this subject though, I came across some really hilarious articles in which Saudi men have divorced their wives in pretty unconventional and innovative ways.

According to Emirates 24/7 news, a Saudi husband used a loudspeaker to divorce his wife at a busy shopping mall after seeing her take a note from another man bearing his phone number.This, according to the Saudi Arabic language quotidian, Kabar.
The husband was with his wife and three children at the mall when he went his own way into a men’s clothing shop.
“When he left that shop, he saw a man giving his wife a note bearing his phone number…she accepted the paper and put it inside her bag,” The newspaper did not mention where the mall is located.“He then used the mall’s loudspeaker to shout divorce words against his wife although she was with her three children.

Earlier this year, a Saudi man broke up with his wife because she disobeyed him by going on a business trip without his consent.
The man phoned a radio program dealing with marital problems to complain about his wife to host Sheikh Ghazi al-Shammari, a prominent Islamic scholar. The unnamed man said his wife “offended his manhood” by traveling from the Saudi port city of Jeddah to the capital Riyadh for a business conference, alone and without his approval.
Al-Shammari concluded that the man had to divorce his wife.
“Such a wife is suspicious because she insisted to travel alone to Riyadh and without ample reason,” Al-Shammari later said, as quoted by Al-Arabiya. “I did not rush with the advice because I saw that the issue was dangerous and that we should not remain silent more about it.” The caller decided to heed the advice, and divorced his wife of ten years – during the live broadcast. Al-Shammari said the man should consider remarrying her if she repents for her actions.

Two years ago, a Saudi man divorced his wife by sending her a text message.A court in the city of Jeddah finalized the divorce, which under Saudi Arabia's Islamic Shariah law only requires a man who wants a divorce to tell his spouse "I divorce you" three times, The Daily Telegraph reported. The Telegraph said the divorce is believed to be the first in Saudi Arabia to be initiated by a text message.
The man, who was in Iraq at the time the message was sent, called on two relatives to confirm his intentions in court.
The Arab News reported the man was in Iraq for "what he described as 'jihad.'"

Just a few days ago, a Saudi man in his 30's divorced his wife for having an account on Twitter without his knowledge according to Arab news. The husband asked her to cancel her account after he found out that his wife had many male and female followers.
"He took the decision to divorce when she refused, after which she went to her father’s house in Jeddah.
The husband tried to call her back and according to their relatives, reconciliation efforts resulted in a suggested agreement under which the husband will have to pay an amount of money to his wife, who will in turn delete her account.
However, the wife insists on keeping the account, saying the husband’s action was unjustifiable and that she is not convinced that simply being on Twitter could cause a family dispute of this scale. Members of the family said efforts are ongoing to bring the couple back together, and that the reconciliation money could be doubled."

Early last year,Guinness World record judges confirmed that Abdulaziz Goldstein became the first man to divorce his wife via twitter.The 38-year-old Saudi sent the termination tweet of ‘I divorce you, I divorce you, I divorce you’ to his former wife, who wishes to remain unnamed, while away on business in Bahrain in February of this year. It was only when friends suggested that Goldstein might be the first to use the platform to make such an annulment did he contact Guinness.
“I’m amazed,” he told The Pan-Arabia Enquirer from his hometown of Riyadh last night. “When I sent the tweet, I never thought in a million years that I would be the first to do so. It just seemed like the obvious way to do it at the time, as I had run out of credit so couldn’t send an SMS.” Using the remaining 96 characters of his tweet, Goldstein is believed to have asked his then wife to remember to take the trash out and pick up his mother from bridge club.

I find the last article to be dubious though. For a start I have not come across original Najdi Saudis with the surname of Goldstein and neither have I come across a bridge club within the Riyadh area. It is articles like these that create a mockery towards Islamic values and towards an Islamic lifestyle in totality. Divorce in Islam is a very serious issue and usually when a couple is heading for a divorce both sides of the family will make tremendous efforts to provide the couple with advice and also encourage reconciliation especially if there are kids involved. In an authentic hadith narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar, the Prophet Muhammed (saw) said," Of all the lawful acts the most detestable to Allah is divorce." Usually, the husband will give one talaaq either written or verbally. In other words he will say "I divorce you" once. The husband and wife will then stay under one roof for a period of three months without having any sexual relationship."The waiting period helps to prevent hasty terminations due to anger and allows both parties time to reconsider as well as to see if the wife is pregnant. If the wife is pregnant, the waiting period is lengthened until she delivers. At any point during this time, the husband and wife are free to resume their conjugal relationship, thereby ending the divorce process. During this waiting period, the husband remains financially responsible for the support of his wife." There are various other laws and regulations pertaining to the divorce issue and in general it is not as simple as saying "I divorce you" three times. Whilst many people from other parts of the world may find it shocking and presumably frown upon the fact that women in this region can be merely divorced via sms, twitter,on live national radio or through a mall loudspeaker (quite bizarre in my opinion), this is unfortunately divorce Saudi style!!

Women's Health Day Charity Event 2012

This was a function that was held earlier on in the year. I just did not have the time to upload the pictures on my blog. Since I am at home this morning with some free time on my hands, I decided to do a quick blog post of the event. It was certainly a fun filled entertaining afternoon. I will never forget this day simply because after the event I had to rush off home to prepare dinner and then head straight off to the airport to pick up mom who was arriving for her annual two month vacation in the Kingdom which is more like a mother daughter bonding experience and of course a shopping trip for mom.......

Breaking the Maid Habit

In this editorial, Arab News seems to have come to the conclusion that the dependency on foreign domestic workers that the Saudi society has created must come to an end. The issues surrounding maids have become so negative—from abuse of maids to abuse by maids—that it’s time to break the habit.

The writer correctly points out that if your children are raised solely by foreigners, there’s little likelihood that those children will be absorbing local values. In the case of Saudi Arabia, that might not be an utterly bad thing as some Saudi values are certainly ready to be discarded. Xenophobia, an unwarranted superiority complex, and an over-devotion to ‘tradition’ could certainly be replaced. Then there’s the fact that young people—both men and women—are growing up without even minimal life skills, like cooking or changing a tyre. Other values, including Arabic language skills, a sense of belonging to a unique culture, and a reasoned national pride are worth keeping, something made difficult when the primary care givers for children do not share those values.
Much of this reliance on foreign workers is the result of the perpetual childhood Saudi society imposes on its own women. Not being able to do things most women in the world do as a matter of course (like driving, working in mixed-sex environments, being personally responsible for themselves) necessarily leads to reliance on someone else to do them. Allowing Saudi women to be a fully-functional, equal part of society would do much to reduce the need for servants.
The editorial asserts that Saudi society is the most dependent on foreign domestic workers and I’ve no reason to doubt it. From the cultural costs to the very real monetary costs, Saudi Arabia needs to kick the maid habit.

Maids: Bitter truths
It is estimated that there are two million working in homes in the Kingdom
Reports about maids all too regularly hit the headlines in this paper and others in the Kingdom. There are stories about maids who are abused, maids who are kept locked up or unpaid for months, even years. There are stories about maids who run away, or who have tricked or cheated their employers. Likewise, there are complaints about the costs of bringing a maid into the country. There are reports, too, of other countries being whipped up into a frenzy of concern about the treatment of maids in Saudi Arabia and their threats to stop them coming in future or imposing conditions about their employment contracts, including demands to know details about the families they are going to, their financial position, a description of the house, the number of rooms, photos of the wife and husband. Regularly, too, there are reports about new sources of maids — from Cambodia, Vietnam, indeed anywhere they can be found.
The fact is that Saudi Arabia has become over-reliant on maids. It is estimated that there are two million working in homes in the Kingdom. There are reportedly 400,000 from Sri Lanka alone. From Indonesia, there are supposed to be even greater numbers while it is reported that 15 percent of the 1.3 million Filipinos in the country are also in domestic service. Add to that the maids from Nepal, from Ethiopia and elsewhere in Africa, and two million does not seem that excessive. But at two million, they constitute the biggest workforce in the country. It works out at roughly one maid for every nine Saudis, or one for every two households. It is no wonder then that maids are such an issue in Saudi Arabia.

Saudi women and plastic surgery

Islam is truly a unique religion. In fact it is not simply a religion but rather a way of life. It has answers and solutions to all aspects of life clearly defined within the Quraan as well as the hadith or sayings of the Prophet Muhammed (saw). So what is the Islamic point of view with regards to plastic surgery? Well Islam permits plastic surgery only in certain circumstances or situations. If for example a person had an accident and became deformed then plastic surgery will be permitted or in the case of a friend of mine whose nose fractured by a door that was mistakenly banged into her and has now got some breathing problems, plastic surgery will be permitted to remove the discomfort. Skin grafts will also be allowed in patients that have been severely burnt. However, undergoing cosmetic surgery for mere vanity is prohibited in Islam. The hypocrisy that exists within Saudi society simply baffles me. On the one hand we have women who are covered up from head to toe and on the other hand these same women are now undergoing all types of cosmetic and reconstruction surgeries to look like women that have graced international magazine covers.Speaking to a well known plastic surgeon in the Kingdom a few weeks ago, I was told that in the past there may have been one or two cosmetic and dermatology clinics in Riyadh but nowadays more and more clinics have sprung up each one offering the latest state of the art technology in the field of cosmetic surgery. Saudi women are being admitted for all types of procedures ranging from Botox, liposuction, boob augmentations, tummy tucks, nose jobs and buttock implants.

Islam prohibits the plucking of the eyebrows as it changes a woman's facial features and yet there are many Saudi women who have had eye brow tattooing done. This procedure involves removing the eye brows permanently through laser treatment or temporarily by threading the eyebrows with cotton  and then replacing the real eyebrow with a permanent eyebrow tattoo.The tattoo is drawn with ink that matches the individuals skin tone and complexion. The total cost of the procedure is approximately SR3000. Tattoos amongst young Saudi women trying to imitate western movies stars is also very much a fashion trend here.The majority of Saudi women would opt for false nails coupled with nail polish which once again is prohibited in Islam.

Three weeks ago I had a patient who came for her pain medication after undergoing a "boob job". She was clearly in lots of pain and whilst we were chatting I asked her why did she go through this whole agonizing procedure. She told me that she had a breast augmentation done to fulfill her husbands wish. He apparently likes a fuller more voluptuous woman and hence convinced her to get a breast augmentation done increasing her cup size from 34C to 36C. She went on further to say that she was afraid of losing her husband as he could very easily leave her and get married to a more beautiful woman of his choice. I couldn't help but wonder in the back of my mind that you actually get such fake and superficial people in the world. I thought two people marry each other for love and that looks, money and materialistic possession is unimportant.I thought that when you marry someone you accept that person the way they are and love them the way they are. I guess I have the old school of thinking. I guess with a new world order comes a new way of thinking as well.....How ridiculous in my opinion.If her husband was my husband, I probably would have knocked his head with a frying pan and sent him off packing lock stock and barrel!!

Last month whilst dining out with friends and having a fabulous time with amazing company I returned home only to break out in a huge allergic reaction. My upper lip and my right eye lid was swollen. I looked absolutely funny and the worst part was that I needed to report to work in the morning. I immediately took  high doses of antihistamines to reduce the swelling and then retired to bed. The next morning I woke up only to find that the swelling was still there. I looked like a caricature of myself and didn't know whether I should laugh or cry. I went to work and naturally everyone started asking what happened and of course suggesting what medication I should take. The most hilarious comment though that I got was from a patient who assumed that my upper lip and eyelid was swollen due to a botox injection. She said that she always thought I had lovely full lips and now she knows the reason. I kept on telling her that I had an allergic reaction and she just wouldn't believe me. I wouldn't be surprised if she probably made an appointment the next day with the plastic surgeon to get a shot of botox.

Whilst most women aspire to be like the women we are so use to seeing on magazine covers or on television the truth is that these women have been made to look a certain way through plastic and cosmetic surgery. They do not have natural beauty. Their boobs are upright and perky due to implants as natural breasts do not look anything like the one's that are stuffed in our faces in magazines..their derrieres are cellulite free and their skin flawless due to airbrushing and various other computerized technology out their to create a false, fake image of how a woman should be. The truth is that many of these stars were nothing to look at during their childhood or teenage years. For many of them it has been a case of the ugly duckling turning into a beautiful swan through numerous cosmetic surgeries and procedures to simply become the sex symbols of the world. After all SEX SELLS!!! Doesn't it.

So my question to all Saudi women out there is,Do you really want the world to view you as a sex symbol or a sex object like the women who grace these magazines or would you rather have the world view you as a modest moral woman who adheres to her religion, her culture and her roots and is proud of being a part of that culture and religion? Why aspire to be like someone else?Be proud of who you are and be happy with the way God has created you.

Source:

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=1364543 - pictures

Matchmaking woes

Article written by Farah Mustafa Wadi

In the past, the criterion for choosing a bride was based on her family’s reputation. However, now young men place light-skinned brides at the top of their list. This superficiality has made many people in the Kingdom resort to ‘matchmakers’ as an efficient and convenient option to find the ideal husband or wife. The matchmaker’s task, however, is not an easy one as she (matchmakers are almost always women) has to guide two families to see through the marital union of two people.
Umm Mohammad, a 60-year old Palestinian woman started working as a matchmaker or “Khattabah” six years ago in the Kingdom, and she highlights the main reasons why families are resorting to the services of a “Khattabah”.
“It is not easy for some women to go out searching for a good bride (for their sons or brothers) in Saudi Arabia. Some women don’t have many friends because their husbands restrict their sociability. This makes these women resort to the matchmakers to fulfill their needs,” said Umm Mohammad.
She added that she faced much criticism from a potential groom’s family whenever she found a potential bride who wasn’t a perfect fit for their superficial prerequisites. “Many young men and their mothers desire a beautiful girl, who is tall and thin and has blond hair. It becomes very frustrating to work with such conditions. Sometimes they specifically ask for working girls because of rising expenses,” she remarked.
“The strangest situation that I have faced during my experience as a matchmaker, was when a potential groom’s mother asked me to scrutinize the potential bride as soon as she took a shower, so that I could see how naturally beautiful she was. However, the families of some potential brides find these tests acceptable, and the couples have lived happily after the wedding,” said Umm Mohammad. She added that some Saudi men have specifically requested women from Syria and Palestine because of their ‘beauty’.
Similarly, many potential brides have also started asking matchmakers to find men with certain specifications.
”Some girls have asked me to send them the guy’s (potential groom) photograph via mobile phone messaging, and most have said they prefer a tall and good looking man who is well settled. Some girls have also asked me to find for them a young man who resembles Wael K’foury, a well-known and handsome Lebanese singer,” laughed Umm Ali, a Saudi matchmaker who has been in the trade for eight years.
Umm Mohammad has fifteen folders containing the description of both potential brides and grooms and says she feels a certain excitement when she brings a couple together. Her fame grew as she expanded her services and started offering them on the internet. She claims to have many young men call her demanding a ‘beautiful’ potential wife.
“I have arranged 75 marriages within various cities in the Kingdom during the past six years. I love this career because I feel sorry for some women who are still single, and am genuinely happy when I see them living happily with their husbands because of my work,” she said.
“After my website officially started six months ago, many Saudi men have been requesting me to provide services for the ‘Al Mesyar’ marriage which I don’t appreciate because it harms women who are fundamentally more vulnerable than the men,” added Umm Mohammad.
There are some matchmakers in Saudi Arabia who are providing matchmaking services for ‘Al-Mesyar’ marriages - where the couple does not live together and the husband is not financially responsible for his wife - with the condition that if the groom’s parents wants a suitable girl for their son, the matchmaker will require them to pay SR 2000 or SR 3000 in the beginning, even reaching SR 5000 for a girl who matches certain specifications.
“I don’t appreciate these matchmakers because the ‘extra’ money may be completely wasted. What if the alliance does not work out because the couple are not suited to each other?” she pointed out.
Mansour Bin Askar, a professor of Sociology at Al-Imam Mohammad Ibn Saud Islamic University says that the main reason why the mothers of a potential groom particularly, are approaching matchmakers is the modernization of cities in the Kingdom. “Taking eligible young women to the matchmaker is a positive way to find suitable grooms for them as matchmakers charge money for their services, so there is a greater possibility that she will practice her job seriously,” remarked Bin Askar.
He believes however, that some matchmakers are in this field solely because of the money. They do not seek to formalize the acceptance of both the groom and bride and often feed incorrect information to both families, which often becomes a source of conflict in the future between both families.
Umm Ali claims eighty marriages to her credit, and says her job is often a source of anxiety as potential grooms are usually very particular about the woman they want to marry and their demands are currently on the rise. She advises prospective matchmakers to undertake this work with genuine honesty and loyalty.
“This kind of work is not easy to undertake because occasionally it takes a long time to match prospective brides and grooms, according to the specifications they request,” emphasized Umm Ali, adding that she once rejected a prospective groom who wished to marry for only two days.
Umm Mohammad is also bewildered by the recurrence of Saudi women requesting prospective brides for their husbands’ second marriage. “More than ten Saudi wives have asked me to find wives for their husband, as they would prefer to know exactly who their husbands are marrying, rather than finding out about the second marriage later on,” remarked Umm Mohammad.
She is also particularly interested in finding husbands for single women between the age of 35 and 45 years, and claims that she finds it difficult to sleep whenever she is unable to do so.
“About twelve girls who are between the age of 32 to 45 years have gotten married because of my service. I prefer to find prospective grooms for older girls rather than those who are between the age of 18 and 30. The younger girls will still have a change to get married later on,” she added.
She seems genuinely interested in the welfare of her clients and claims to be available to advise them on their married life free of charge.
“The calls I recieve on a daily basis may reach up to fifty calls in a single day, and they come from all over the Kingdom, and even from abroad with couples and their families remembering me and even thanking me for bringing them together,” she proudly claims. –SG __

Source:
http://www.saudigazette.com.sa/