My Mom - The Covid Warrior

 

It was 6am, June 18th 2021. How can I ever forget that faithful Friday morning, a day that would have changed our lives forever. Prior to the fajr athaan, I had a brief conversation with my brother who had informed me that mom's medical condition was relatively stable but there was no real improvement. We discussed oxygen saturation levels and oxygen flow rates and agreed to touch base later on in the day to keep each other informed about moms deteriorating health. I had just retired to bed after fajr prayers when the phone rang. It was sister Cleo on video calling. Naturally I was quite perturbed and answered the call in haste. Sister Cleo was quite anxious and in a state of panic as she took me through mom's vital stats. "Everything is dropping at a rapid rate. Her blood pressure is dropping and her oxygen saturation level is at 40. Please come to the hospital now. Your mom is extremely ill and is passing away." I froze and needed a few seconds to digest everything that she conveyed to me. After gathering myself together I jumped out of bed and quickly changed into a kaftan. Now came the difficult part. I needed to break the news to dad. I knocked on dad's room door. He was not yet asleep. He asked me if I called the hospital to enquire about mom. I hate being the bearer of bad news. I took a deep breath and finally let it all out in one go.

 " Papa, sister Cleo from the hospital called to say that mom is on her last. She is passing away. We need to hurry to the hospital immediately." Naturally dad too was in a state of shock. I guess he found it difficult to digest the news I shared with him. Together we informed my brother and his family. Our world had suddenly come to an end and we all realised that from that day onward our lives will never ever be the same again. 

 Naturally the trip to the hospital was indeed unforgettable. There was an atmosphere of sadness and melancholy in the car. As my brother read Quraan whilst driving dad and I to the hospital, my mind wandered far faraway. I had flashbacks of my childhood recalling the wonderful memories on Sitara avenue, mom driving us to school in her powder blue Peugeot 504, the incredible yearly overseas vacations, and of course all the amazing memories mom and I shared during my stay in Riyadh. As tears rolled down my cheeks, I was struggling to acknowledge and accept that the end was near, that I'd never ever see my mom again. I was hit with the realisation that I will never be able to hear my mom's laughter or eat moms signature dishes ever again. It felt as though my world was coming to an end. Dad was devastated but didn't show his true emotions. I guess he needed to be our emotional support and pillar of strength. As we neared the hospital he told my brother and I not to be sad. We should be happy that mom was passing away on a blessed day, al yowmul Jumu3a..He said that our lives will change. Life will never ever be the same again, but we can not question the will of Allah. Every soul will taste death indeed, yet no one is ready to leave the world. No one is ready to die. No one is ready to accept death. No one is ready to let go..

The drive to the hospital felt like an eternity. My mind was so faraway that I only realised we had arrived at our destination when the car came to an abrupt halt. Dad's late brothers' children arrived at the hospital as well. They had lost their dad a week earlier and so they were all going through their own emotional pain and trauma. My dad didn't really have the time to grieve or mourn for his elder brother as mom's medical prognosis was not good either. I can clearly remember the Tuesday afternoon when dad and I went to my uncle's home to greet him and see him off to the hospital. In many ways I think that he knew he was not going to return home. He kept on asking about mom. That was his biggest concern. 

 As we got off the car, we headed for the Covid ward where we were asked to suit up in PPE gear. The medical staff were waiting outside mom's room door. As we entered mom's room, she was totally oblivious of our unexpected visit. She had no idea that her vital stats were dropping. We were all reading for her at her bedside with tears flowing down our cheeks. Whilst the medical team were expecting mom to take her last breaths, God Almighty had other plans in store for mom. Quite miraculously, all the stats started going up slowly reaching relatively stable levels. From that point onwards, mom started making progress. It wasn't a lightning speed progress, but we were grateful and thankful that mom was still alive. As long as her heart was beating and she was breathing, there was always going to be a glimmer of hope.

Mom was rushed to hospital on Saturday, June 5th, 2021 around 6pm. I had just come out of the shower preparing for asr salaah when suddenly I heard mom screaming in pain. She was experiencing severe diarrhoea the day before. I then called my brother and we both agreed to rush mom to the hospital. 

Mom has always been a home executive par excellence. Allah has gifted her with green fingers thereby allowing her to design and create one of the most beautiful gardens in the neighbourhood. She has always taken an immense amount of pride and joy in her cooking and her culinary skills are definitely praiseworthy. She has always been immaculate when it came to setting a table especially when guests were invited. Arts and crafts, painting and needlework have always been hobbies that mom is passionate about. Every Friday mom use to cook for Mizaan's halaal takeaway located in Florida. Reading the social media comments about how tasty the food was ultimately motivated mom and gave her a sense of self worth. After all, her cooking was her joy and happiness. The Friday before moms admission to hospital, she got up as usual to steam the mutton biryani she had prepared the day before. She had become accustomed to her Friday routine. However when the pot was finally steamed to completion, mom was unable to lift the pot from the stove as she usually does. Her body was overtaken by weakness and that's when she realised that something was wrong. During the course of the day she had developed a cough with phlegm on her chest and asked me to bring medication for her from the pharmacy. 

During the course of the weekend mom just layed in bed. Despite taking antibiotics and various other medications to treat her symptoms there wasn't really a marked improvement in her health. Hence on Monday night our house doctor visited to assess moms ill health. He concluded that mom had bronchitis and added an additional antibiotic to the current treatment regimen she was already taking. He also wanted several blood tests to be done to rule out a few other medical conditions. As the days went by, despite mom taking all her medication as prescribed, there wasn't any significant improvement in moms health. The weakness became worse. Eventually the weakness was coupled with severe abdominal pain and diarrhoea leaving us with absolutely no choice apart from getting mom admitted to the nearest hospital. 

Upon arrival at the hospital, mom was rushed into casualty. My brother and I waited in the car as the medical personnel took various x rays of moms chest. They also conducted a number of blood tests. After a three hour wait we were finally called into casualty where we were told that mom had a severe bout of pneumonia and required intravenous antibiotic treatment. Subsequently mom was admitted and the doctor on duty said that he expected her to stay in hospital for no longer than a week. We were told that no visitors were allowed and that if we wanted to know about moms progress we should call the ward directly. We thereby exchanged contact numbers with the nursing staff assigned to mom and then left for home.

There was an absolute feeling of emptiness walking into the house without mom. Without a shadow of doubt it is a mother who turns a house into a home. Whenever I return home at night after work, I'd always find mom in the family room reclining on her specific chair or I'd find mom in the kitchen either baking fresh home made bread or croissants or cooking something special for us. Even before entering the house, an aroma of deliciousness always pervaded the air. Our family life has always been centered around the kitchen, a cosy space designated not only for cooking scrumptious meals but it is also an area in our home whereby good food is coupled with lots of fun, laughter and discussion collectively as a family.

Sunday is usually a day of leisure but in our home a Sunday is always associated with the gathering of family and friends and of course mom's signature rice dishes. Despite mom's absence at the lunch table, we tried extremely hard to retain a semblance of normalcy in our lives. 

Whilst having lunch, my brother received a call from the hospital informing us that mom tested positive for covid 19 as well and that she will be transferred to the specialised covid unit. We couldn't understand how did mom become covid positive as she remained in doors all the time. No one else at home had been ill despite the fact that we are in constant contact with patients all the time at the pharmacy. Sometimes we forget that sickness and health remains purely in the hands of the Almighty. All of us in life are going through different trials and tribulations. Indeed God Almighty tests us in different ways to assess our faith and belief in Him and of course to bring us closer to Him. 

With mom being in hospital it was only natural for everyone at home to be having sleepless nights and so on Monday morning at the crack of dawn I made my way to the hospital to seek permission from management to be able to visit mom and spend some time with her. The head nurse at the covid ward was an extremely kind middle-aged petite woman who understood my plight perfectly well. She gave me a set of protective gear and asked me to suit up before making my way to mom's room. During our brief encounter she mentioned to me  that a few years ago her daughter was in hospital in the ICU and she was prevented from visiting her. That entire experience was traumatic for her and so she vowed to God Almighty that she will never ever do the same to any of her patient's family members. Stepping into mom's room, the first thing I noticed was the high flow oxygen face mask that was placed firmly on mom's face giving her the image of someone out of space. Her face was swollen and mom looked visibly distraught. She was unable to speak to me but her hand gestures indicated that she was feeling extremely claustrophobic. At noon, the nursing sister assigned to mom passed by with mom's lunchtime meal. She asked me to feed mom and encourage her to be more accepting of the high flow oxygen mask. As we were chatting, my phone rang. It was the treating physician. 

 The gentleman on the other end of the receiver came across as a middle-aged man who was rude and abrupt. He lacked kindness, empathy and compassion. I was informed that mom was not doing well on the high flow oxygen mask and that there was no option left apart from intubating her and placing her on a ventilator. I then understood the seriousness of the situation and was also cognizant of the fact that a vast majority of patients who are placed on ventilators do not make it out of the hospital alive. The doctor wanted immediate consent from me with regards to two issues, namely intubating mom and secondly using high doses of ivermectin on her. Of course, I fully supported the utilisation of ivermectin on mom but I was unable to make an immediate decision to intubate mom without consulting with my dad and my brother first. As soon as I left the hospital, I drove straight to the pharmacy only to find dad extremely sad and distraught at moms illness. We were both two minded about placing mom on a ventilator. As we were discussing the pros and cons of the procedure, a family doctor called dad to enquire about mom. It was almost as though God Almighty was lending us His helping hand. Indeed, it turned out to be a divine guidance. Dr Bobat was following the progress of other covid patients in the area and he was also quite well informed with regards to numerous treatment regimens that were being applied by specialist doctors at various hospitals in Johannesburg. His input made our decision much easier and hence after much deliberation we took the decision as a family to have mom intubated and placed on a ventilator. 

 Initially mom was doing extremely well on the ventilator. She appeared to be much calmer and had lesser claustrophobic tendencies. Every day the medical personnel were weaning her off the ventilator which was a significant step in her recovery process. We were told that within a week or two she would be discharged. Every night my brother and I would take a drive to the hospital to visit mom from her room window. There were times when the nursing staff would yell at us for standing at the window and even though there was a curfew in place, it did not deter my brother and I from visiting our beloved Mom. We were determined to visit her and be with her throughout her ordeal. She needed our support and words of encouragement. 

Eight days after mom was intubated, I received a call from the head nurse of the covid ward. She asked me to pass by in the morning during her shift. She granted me permission to visit mom for 20 minutes but at the same time she wanted me to view mom's chest x rays.  Upon perusal I was in absolute shock and disbelief. I was unable to see the lungs at all on the x rays. All I could see was clouds of white. I knew the seriousness of the situation and a part of me felt as though this was the beginning of the end. I was also required to provide consent for dialysis as mom was going into renal failure as well due to her lungs being incapacitated. After spending time with mom,  I recall driving to the pharmacy with tears rolling down my cheeks. My dad called to enquire about mom and I burst out in tears explaining how bad the chest x rays were in just a matter of 2 days.  Mom's health was deteriorating and subsequently we were called in on that faithful Friday morning to bid her farewell, but God Almighty tested our faith and showed us all who is ultimately in control of life and death. 

My brother and I continued visiting mom at her room window. Then one day Allah placed mercy in the heart of the night time shift leader, the same gentleman who yelled at us a few times before for standing at the window. He befriended my brother and said that he could see how attached we were to mom. He could see the genuine concern we had for her and so he told us that whenever he is on duty he will allow us to suit up in PPE gear and spend time with mom in her room. We noticed that our physical presence had a huge positive impact on mom's mental state of mind which in turn had a positive impact on mom's overall health and well-being. Her oxygen saturation levels improved and with time they were able to wean mom completely off the ventilator 8 weeks after admission.  

During our midnight rendezvous at the hospital my brother and I witnessed a lot of disturbing incidents. Almost every night 2 undertaker vehicles were parked in front of the covid ward to collect the remains of those who succumbed to their illness. There is one incident that will remain etched in my mind forever. Whilst waiting to gain access to the ward, my brother and I met a gentleman who told us that he received a call from the ward asking him to come in immediately to meet his wife. She was a nurse in the covid ward and she contracted the virus becoming extremely ill. The caregiver became a patient herself intubated on a ventilator. The middle-aged man was so excited. Whilst chatting to him, a nurse interrupted our discussion and asked us to follow her. The gentleman remained outside. Upon reaching the ward, we learnt that the nurse had actually passed away and hence her husband was asked to come in immediately. I was gutted and heartbroken and even though the man was a complete stranger I could feel his pain. 

 Then there were incidents of gross negligence on the part of the nursing staff. I personally think that whether a patient is in a private hospital or a government hospital there is something seriously wrong with the quality of nurses employed at our hospitals. Many need to be commended for their kindness and compassion displayed towards their patients but the overall vast majority are just downright inhumane in the manner in which they treat their patients. We witnessed nursing staff sleeping on duty whilst they were assigned to critically ill patients who were all on ventilators. We witnessed the gross negligence ourselves when the nurse assigned to mom forgot to suction her tracheostomy tubing causing the accumulation of phlegm and thick mucous resulting in mom's medical condition deteriorating. She was almost at the end of the ventilator weaning process where her blood gas levels were improving but due to the negligence and don't care attitude of her caregiver, she was put back onto a 100 percent ventilator support. In other words, the weaning process had to be restarted all over again. We were told by the presiding physician that the doctors' hands were tied in these kinds of matters as the nursing staff are all outsourced from various agencies and are not on the hospital payroll. I came across nursing staff who were not even properly trained with regards to the way in which a ventilator functioned. I am pretty certain that many patients who were admitted to hospital died not because of ill health but rather due to gross negligence on the part of the medical personnel. The fact that family and friends were not allowed to visit made it much easier to hide medical malpractice. Mom lost a staggering 22kg of weight in hospital. From extra large clothing mom now fits into extra small making it impossible for me to steal her clothing occasionally. 

Mom was discharged on Eid ul adha. After a traumatising 8 weeks, it was undoubtedly a welcoming relief. Due to the fact that there were no beds available at the rehab centre, we had to make arrangements for a proper home health care facility that included the hiring of an oxygen concentrator, a full-time nurse as well as periodic sessions with the physiotherapist.

Mom required a full-time nurse to assist her with her daily activities. She was unable to walk or shower on her own. She was discharged from the hospital in an extremely bad state. Her clothes were soiled due to diarrhoea and she was unable to speak clearly due to the hole in her neck as a result of the tracheostomy. It was as though she was discharged from a psychiatric institute. The admission ward had windows but then a week after admission she was moved to a ward that had absolutely no windows. She was unable to decipher night from day and in the process mom lost complete track of time. Mom needed to be on 5L of oxygen continuously night and day. Her oxygen saturation levels had to be monitored extremely closely. It took almost 2 months for mom to be weaned off the oxygen completely. Mom's physiotherapy session's assisted her in regaining some of her strength back. A year has passed and mom is still facing a series of long covid symptoms such as extreme chronic fatigue, shortness of breath as well as nausea and excessive vomiting. These symptoms have sometimes warranted hospitalisation for a few days at a time.

 Mom's doctor's were quite baffled to discover that post covid mom is no longer hypertensive. They found it quite intriguing that joints and bones that were previously affected by rheumatoid arthritis were now disease free post covid. However, mom has now developed severe bone cavities in her right foot due to the excessively high doses of cortisone that was administered to her during her 2 month stay in hospital. Currently mom is experiencing severe pain on her right foot especially when she walks thereby impeding her recovery progress. She will most probably undergo surgery in the near future Inshallah to remove the diseased bone followed by the insertion of titanium plates to devise an anatomical foot structure that is as close as possible to mom's biological foot. To all the beautiful souls out there reading this article, do make a special dua for my mom. May Allah grant mom complete shifa e kaamila with aafiya. 

 It is indeed a miracle that mom is alive and yet on the other hand it is absolutely heart-breaking to see mom as a different person altogether. The bright and bubbly super active, super smart mom is no longer there. It depresses mom sometimes that she is no longer able to be that on-the-go woman she was. Mom has always been my best friend. We use to always visit the nursery together on a weekday or do the grocery shopping together followed by lunch. Mom's ordeal has undoubtedly been a traumatising experience for all of us. At the end of it all Allah never ever burdens us with more than we can handle. I am positive and certain that with time mom will gain weight and fully recover. There is always wisdom and goodness in everything that He has decreed for us. Covid 19 brought out the best and the worst in people. Parents didn't want to take care of their ill kids and vice versa. Family members ran away and refused to attend to the ill within their families. Funeral homes became homes of a leper where no one was willing to frequent that home out of fear of contracting the virus. Our masaajids and other places of worship were empty as per government decree whilst government officials squandered an excess of a billion rand in parties and entertainment as per official news reports. People had petty fights about masks, sanitisers and not being able to try on garments in a clothing store. The world became mad whilst the shayateen rejoiced and there was a complete ignorance and lack of knowledge that prevailed. I witnessed people walking around like zombies with strange get ups mimicking space suits. I was in stitches of laughter seeing a woman with a bucket like apparatus covering her face. For those with eyes who can see, this was a glimpse of qiyamah. Everyone was nafsi nafsi... worried about themselves only. Even the holiest of people forgot that it is Allah and only Allah who gives life and takes life. It is only through the command of Allah that we get ill. Even in illness there is blessings for you become closer to your Allah. Your prayers and remembrance in Allah increases. When a person is ill Allah cleanses them of sin. Allah accepts the duas and prayers of those who are ill and for those who passed away during the "pandemic", how fortunate they are to be given the glad tidings of being a martyr.  Mom mentioned to us that during her stay in hospital, Allah sent a farishta to protect her and look after her. Mom described him as a thin, tall dark-skinned gentleman with a huge smile on his face. He was stationed at moms' feet. It is pertinent to mention as well that there were nursing staff who were waiting for mom to pass on. They would pass remarks at mom such as ' Are you still here? Thought you'd be gone by the time I returned to my shift?" Through the fervent belief in Allah, miracles do happen and as a family we all witnessed this first hand through mom's miraculous recovery. Many a times people would ask how come your mom made it. The answer is simple, life and death are in His hands not ours. Allah still wanted to use mom as a part of His grand master plan. I also believe that duas, prayers and the person you are determines your destiny. Only after mom became ill, did I realise what a significant role she played within her community. During mom's stay in hospital, every day we received numerous calls from concerned individuals all enquiring about mom's health. Many recalled and reiterated with tears in their eyes the sincere acts of kindness that mom displayed towards them. Some remembered mom's hospitality whilst others remembered the delicious food, she sent for them when they were ill. Dad always tells mom that the easiest way to attain jannah is to feed people with an open heart. 

Mom's personality was undoubtedly a catalyst that encouraged many many people throughout the world to pray for her recovery. When our extended Saudi family heard about moms ill health they immediately rushed to the haram to distribute sadaqah. At the house of Allah,  they beseeched Him for mom's speedy recovery. Students at the various Islamic institutes recited Quraan for mom everyday in congregation. The late Sheikh Ayoob Patel from Malawi who took mom as his own sister, not only fasted for mummy's recovery but woke up everyday at tahajjud literally in tears begging Allah to return our mom home to us. Everyday before embarking on his daily chores, Sheikh would first do an act of sadaqah for mom. I will never ever forget the daily conversations I had with Sheikh Ayoob. He was a wonderful human being with a soft kind heart. Sheikh Ayoob was a fatherly figure as I was acquainted to him from childhood.

His conversations were not only encouraging but he always spoke words of wisdom. During one of our conversations, he asked me to explain to him what is covid and what happens to the body. Little did i know then that a few days after mom was discharged from hospital that Sheikh Ayoob himself would be admitted in a Malawi hospital for covid pneumonia. Sheikh Ayoob eventually succumbed to his illness and returned to his heavenly abode leaving behind a nation that was shattered on hearing about his untimely demise. May Allah grant Sheikh Ayoob the highest stages in jannah and fill his kabr with light. Ameen.

 In my opinion, the covid fiasco is undoubtedly a precursor of what's to come. The emergence of the antichrist, al Dajjaal is not faraway. If you have learnt absolutely nothing out of this horror movie like experience that affected almost every household within the community, it is time for you to wake up and smell the coffee. Go back to the drawing board and ask yourself, " Is my faith and firm belief in God Almighty enough to withstand what's to come? May God Almighty make it easy for one and all. May His mercy and blessings descend upon the entire ummah. Ameen.