I’m sure many of you must have come across advertisements in the newspaper from herbalists and pundits who claim to be able to solve all your life problems ranging from bringing back a lost love, helping you win the lotto, getting your murder in law to love you lol as well as penis enlargements .
A few days ago I was browsing through the local newspaper and I came across many such advertisements. Naturally I started laughing. My colleague was wondering what the big joke was all about. After enjoying a good laugh with me, he decided to relate a few stories to me about his experiences with hocus pocus herbalists. Many years ago a friend of his was curious to know more about these so called magical healers, were they genuinely there to assist a person in distress or were they merely con artists fooling the public. His stories were hilarious.
The first person they visited was a fortune teller and so called life coach who also makes a monthly appearance on a national radio station. My colleague was asked to pick out a card from a stack of cards. The card he picked out had the word “Imagine”. He was told that whatever he imagines he will receive within a short space of time. He imagined driving off in the sun set in a brand new car. Needless to say, the opposite happened. The car he was driving packed up and he needed to spend R14000 to get the car repaired. As he related the story to me he was giggling like a little girl. A few weeks ago he wanted to see if this hocus pocus fortune teller was still in existence. He googled her and then decided to call her. Over the phone she told him that she charges R450 for a normal reading about his life but if he wants a deluxe reading it will cost him R500. In a deluxe reading he had the opportunity to ask her questions over a three day period. He then decided to email her and verify her response via email. When she realized that he was a medical professional, her fee went up. The normal reading according to the email was R500 and a deluxe reading R550. On her website it states clearly that she is able to bend someone’s thinking in your favour. When my colleague questioned her about this she replied quite abruptly, “I am not a witch. I am not a Sangoma. I am a life coach to advise you. That’s all.” My colleague then told her that it is not fair to be making such false claims on a public domain like the internet. This woman has proven to us that she is a con artist only out there to make a quick buck or two by playing on the emotions of an individual. She does sound very convincing though over the telephone.
They then visited a Nigerian herbalist whose office was situated near gateway shopping centre. This man wanted R6000 for his services. Shocked at the price he charged, as quickly as they set foot in the office, they dashed off just as speedily. By word of mouth in the community they were then referred to a Muslim man residing in Chatsworth. This man claimed to be a world renowned aamil who knows how to rid the body of negativity and jinn. When they visited this man, my colleague’s friend who was a female was told that the black magic is very deep within her. The only way he can rid her of the black magic is by sleeping with her, engaging in sexual intercourse with her. He also suggested that all the money she has at home must be bundled together and left with him for one night. The next day she must collect the money from him and within a few days her money will double. Naturally, they were shocked by what he said and after charging them R300 they left his home speechless. They discovered yet another con artist sitting at home and making money by fooling the public.
My colleague has a friend who is homosexual and he met a gypsy residing in a caravan near his place of work in Durban. One day whilst chatting to him she told him that he is in love with a girl and very soon he will b with her. Naturally he burst out laughing as he was involved with a man and had no interest in women. Nonetheless he continued listening to her fabricated stories. She told him that she needs to go to Bethlehem and light 7 candles for him there to bring him luck in his life and to return his lady love to him.
I had no idea that there are so many people out there that actually believe and worship these “wrong numbers“. In his quest to find out more about fortune telling he and his friend encountered a lady from Isipingo. She told them to meet her at her residence but they need to bring a live chicken along with them. They took the live chicken to her. The lady said some prayer and then asked them to cut the chicken. She cleaned the chicken and told them to take it home, spice it up and cook it. They needed to eat the chicken over three days and they should return to her after three days with all the chicken bones lol. They followed her instructions but nothing happened. The only thing she achieved was fattening them up with a freshly cooked chicken. As I am writing this article I am experiencing periodic bursts of laughter so do mind my spelling errors if you do come across any.
After the Isipingo experience they moved on to Durban north where they met a Black man residing in a residential area. He told them to bath in sea water and gave them leaves to burn in the house. After a day or two they realised that the leaves given to them were actually insect repellent leaves that could be found anywhere down town. They are usually sold by street hawkers to mainly African people. They discovered yet another hocus pocus “wrong number”. Whilst walking down town Durban city they encountered a Sangoma. This sangoma told my colleague’s female friend that she must place a packet of beads in her panty and another packet of beads under the bed if she wants her boyfriend to come back. Lolol... Naturally nothing happened.
Friends, sihr and black magic exists within our community and I have witnessed this with my own eyes. There are means and ways of curing someone from black magic through ruqya, that is through reciting verses of the Quraan that will bring about cure, but finding someone to solve everyday problems by cutting a chicken or walking with beads in your underwear is simply ludicrous. If you choose to visit an aamil, be very careful as there are many hocus pocus aamils out there as well. Recently an aamil was caught red handed on video tape planting things in a person’s business and making it seem as though a family member planted it there. These aamils destroy families. An aamil who has a gift from God will have a pure heart. He will never ever disclose the name of the person who cast a spell on you and is trying to harm you. He will never aspire to destroy a family and neither will he take large sums of money from the victim inflicted with black magic. He will assist with making the person better solely for the pleasure of God Almighty. When God makes us face any difficulty we should turn to Him for help. Sometimes God gives us difficulty so that we can turn to Him and become closer to Him. No human being has the power to solve our issues except God Almighty. Beware of all these hocus pocus ‘wrong numbers’. If you come across people like this within your community, expose them. Do not allow them to play on the emotions of vulnerable individuals. On that note, I’m off to find myself a live chicken that lays a golden egg. The local sanogoma said that the golden egg will lead me to my prince charming lololol.
