Time to set the record straight

Indeed, it has been a tragic week in our community with the passing away of Mr, Aslam Khan, his wife and son in a horrific accident on Monday evening. On Wednesday we witnessed the tragic demise of a grandfather and his grandchild who burnt to death in a stationary vehicle that the grand dad set a light. What drove the man to commit such a vile act? We can ask ourselves a million and one questions but we won’t be finding the answers. It is quite unfortunate though that amidst the chaos of the entire tragedy there are certain elements within the community who have spread rumours stating that the reason the grand dad did this is because his immediate family was not good to him. They have accused the family of pushing him over the edge. How can people make up stories without knowing the facts? Do you want to know the real story? I will tell you what the real story is.

The grandfather was a devil in the words of his own children. His wife is a sweet, caring, loving woman and we are proud to have her as part of the Medix family. God has really blessed me with good employees who look out for each other. They speak about their lives and family issues openly and of course where we can help we do step in to assist. Over the past few weeks now my colleague has been coming to work literally in tears. Her husband was an abusive man. She always told us that ever since she got married, she never ever had a day of happiness. Last week, he took out a knife for her and tried to stab her. On many occasions he hit her black and blue. There were times he tried throttling her as well. As a team we encouraged her to get out of the relationship and apply for a restraining order against him. On the day of the tragedy we sent her to the police station to seek help and she was also going to move out of the house that very afternoon. She had finally mustered up the courage to leave this monster. After realizing that his wife was no longer going to tolerate the abuse any longer, he went ballistic and hence he committed this devious act. He might have been a smiling, happy man to the world but at home he had a vicious personality. She told us that even whilst praying, he would pull her by her hair and bang her against the wall. This poor woman endured this abuse throughout her married life. She remained in the relationship for the sake of her kids and out of fear as to what society will say if she left him. She was married to this monster as part of an arranged marriage against her will, a man who was 15 years older than her.

There is a part of me that feels that I could have done more to prevent what happened on Wednesday. Perhaps if she had left him a long time ago this would not have happened. The bottom line though is that this incident should be an eye opener to all those women out there who are suffering in silence. Why should you be the victim? These dogs who abuse women should be exposed within the community. They should be named and shamed. Why should they be given the right to walk around in town with their heads high? We Indian people have this shit mentality that abuse, rape and molestation only occurs in other communities but our own. Nonsense. (Kindly excuse my language)
Two days ago I heard that a grandfather, a Muslim Indian grandfather molested his own grand-daughter. These men need to be exposed. Have we reached a stage where we can no longer trust our own parents with our children? The imams and leaders of the community need to catch a wake up and start talking about these issues. Get it out in the open. Teach our men how to behave with their families. Teach our sons the etiquette of respecting a woman and another human being. Stop this mentality of hiding everything under the carpet and pretending that everything is perfect when in reality it isn’t. Don’t allow anyone to verbally or physically abuse you. Each one of us is entitled to happiness and respect. If you not happy in a relationship get out of it before it’s too late.

A tribute to my grand dad (Nana)

                                                              www.picturesof.net

On this day 11 years ago Allah took you away from us. We watched you coming out of the operating theatre thinking that all was well but little did we know that you were no more. I remember you carrying me on your shoulders as a little girl, buying me sweets and chocolates at Uncles Sparrows shop in Highlands north. Almost every weekend we would visit Dions to buy me a new toy. I still have some of the things you bought me. I kept them hidden faraway. You were a simple man earning a simple salary but you made sure that all my wishes were fulfilled. Every Eid you would give me money to purchase a new outfit. With every "crossy face" I made I would get what my heart desired. I remember all the funny incidents we shared like the group of teenage boys who were driving next to you in Bramley. They opened the car window and handed over a normal land line phone to you telling you that you had an urgent phone call. You took the phone quite naively whilst we all burst out laughing. You mistakenly walked into the ladies toilets at the holiday on ice show. We couldn't stop laughing. You took me to the circus and to concerts and what about the magistrate letting you out scott free for dumping confectionery at an illegal site. Your excuse was, " I was not dumping, I was feeding the rabbits."...lolol... As time went by you grew older and so did I. Whilst at university you would give me a daily allowance to buy food from the canteen. Everyday you bought me junk food from Fordsburg..The days you had to pick me up from university you made sure you were there an hour earlier and if I got a few minutes late you would start panicking. You would send someone to look for me. The day I graduated I wanted you to attend the ceremony but you got ill. I do know that you were the proudest grandfather in the whole world.As time went buy you started losing your eye sight, but you never complained. You pretended that everything was just fine. I remember you watching the news diligently at 8:00 pm and retiring to bed by nine after enjoying a hot cup of tea. I see you in my dreams sometimes, and it feels so real. I know that you in a better place but I miss you so much NANA. Nothing feels the same after you left us but I am sure that you are in a far better place watching over us. One day, I know I will see you again..May Allah grant you the highest stages of Jannah and fill your grave with lots and lots of light. Ameen.

Beware of the online womanizer

                                                     (Picture: www.thefrisky.com)

So yesterday afternoon I received a call from a facebook friend who also happens to be a personal friend of mine. She is South African but resides in a neighbouring African country. She urged me to write a post about Muslim men who use the internet and dating sites to satisfy their womanizing personality traits. A friend of hers was chatting to a South African Muslim doctor who befriended her on facebook. As they started chatting more often they exchanged telephone number and BBM pins. This man promised her the world. He said that he was interested in her and desired to marry her. One day she decided to surprise him by calling him at the practice. When he answered the phone he told her that he does not know her from anywhere. A whole different side to this man’s personality emerged. Naturally she was heartbroken. My friend decided to find out more about this doctor. It turned out that he was someone that she knew as he resided in the same town as her parents here in Johannesburg. He of course did not know her. So she sent him a friend request and the same pattern followed. He befriended her, exchanged BBM pins, promised her the world and when she called him he said that he does not know her from a bar of soap. May be someone else hacked his facebook profile and is now pretending to be him.

Recently, I received an inbox message from a Muslim man who obviously created a fake facebook profile to find women. This is the message he sent me, “Salaam. I am a 36 year old married Muslim man with 2 kids. You do not know me but I follow your posts. I must say you hot and intelligent too. I am looking for a mistress or a second wife for sexual reasons only. I do not want any more kids. The relationship would have to be secretive. Money is no object. I will buy you an apartment and give you a monthly allowance as well. My facebook profile does not have my real details. I will reveal my real identity in person if you agree to the arrangement.”

Recently, I severed ties with a friend who is a well known professional man but had the nerve to chat to other women on a dating site whilst claiming that he was enjoying getting to know me.  When I confronted him, his response was, “I love being close to a woman. You need to come to terms with the fact that if I am chatting to Sumayya, I am also chatting to 8 other women and getting to know them.” My response was, “Go to hell. You do not deserve a woman like me and I will never choose to be involved with a man that has no respect for a woman. You may be up there in front of your colleagues and the people you deal with. But in my eyes, you ‘re an ass.” The sad part is that this same person has a few unmarried sisters in his house. I know he would be devastated if someone hurt his sisters but it’s perfectly normal behaviour to hurt another woman. Why? Because it is not our own flesh and blood.

If you truly care for someone you will not be hurting them by visiting a dating site every now and then to check if there is someone better out there. In my opinion only a sick womanizing man would behave in this manner. These type of men are selfish. They have no respect for a woman. The only people they care for is their own family and of course themselves. But they fail to understand the concept of what goes around must come around. Today they have lowered the self esteem and morale of someone else’s daughter, tomorrow their own sister will be played.

My advice to all women out there is this: Be very careful with who you interact with online. There are loads of sick people out there. If you lonely and wish to be in a relationship with someone, rather ask a mutual friend or a family member to introduce you to someone.  Don’t become a victim to a womanizer. It’s just not worth it. 

Zainub Priya Dala I support you

                                                    (Picture taken from The daily Vox)

                                           

This morning I was interviewed on Channel Islam with regards to the assault case against a Durban-based South African author Zainub Priya Dala. For those of you who are not aware of the story, Zainub Priya Dala was a guest at the “Time of the Writer” literature festival in Durban and as part of the festivals outreach program she traveled to Chatsworth  for a workshop where she addressed learners and students at a community centre. Whilst interacting with the public she was asked which writers she admired to which she replied quite casually Arundhati Roy and Salman Rushdie. After mentioning the name Salman Rushdie some of the learners and teachers stood up and left. Later that afternoon she started receiving threatening text messages from complete strangers asking her to repent as a Muslim woman for admiring the work of Salman Rushdie. Then last week Wednesday whilst driving in Durban she was followed allegedly by three Muslim men in their early thirties. They tried pushing her off the road and eventually when she stopped at a busy intersection, the men assaulted her. They took out a knife and placed it across her throat and then smashed her face with a brick leaving her bleeding on the side of the road before speeding off. Dala mentioned that they screamed at her calling her “Rushdie’s bitch”

In this morning’s interview I was quite shocked that the presenter asked me if the author is Muslim. For a start what does being Muslim have to do with the fact that three Muslim males assaulted a woman. No religion condones violence or beating up people simply because they do not conform to mainstream ideologies. What I find quite interesting is that many South Africans have not even read the Satanic verses to understand why the book is considered blasphemous. The mere fact that they hear the name Salman Rushdie triggers the aggression within them. I have read the Satanic verses and whilst I do not condone everything that the man has written I have to acknowledge the fact that the man is a literary genius. He has an excellent command of the English language and his style of writing is unique. We need to take cognisance of the fact that he has not only written the Satanic verses. Of course, it is this one book that catapulted him to fame for all the wrong reasons but he has written many other books like “Midnight’s children” and “The ground beneath her feet” which were literary masterpieces that received international acclaim.

The assault on this Durban based author allegedly by three Muslim men was an act of cowardice on their part. It was a disgusting act that totally goes against the teaching of Islam or any religion for that matter. The presenter shocked me even more by stating that whilst the act was unacceptable maybe she needed to be more careful and respected the sentiments of the community by not mentioning Salman Rushdie, that perhaps in this case freedom of expression did not apply. He chose quite a silly rationale by stating that if you were in Israel as a traveler would you mention the name Adolf Hitler and speak about the Holocaust.  To which I replied that you cannot compare South Africa to Israel. The demographics of each country is very different. We reside in a democratic country where we are allowed freedom of speech and expression. The public has a go at the president of the country on social media. Muslims residing in this country are not a law unto themselves. We do not live in some isolated island. We reside in an integrated society and we need to respect the laws of this country.

A few months ago Mufti Ismail Menk was assaulted by a group of Muslim men in Durban who did not agree with his views on certain aspects of religion. Does this mean that Mufti Menk should start respecting the sentiments of that community and stop voicing his opinion on live television? The irony about this whole assault case is that no where did the author speak about Islam or religion. No where did she say that she agrees with what is written in the Satanic verses. All she said was that she admires the way he writes.

The three men who assaulted her are idiots in my opinion. It is people like this who tarnish the name of Islam and give Muslims a bad name. Had they not assaulted the author I am sure that no one would have even spoken about the Satanic verses again. What they have done in actual fact is ignite curiosity into people making them aware of a blasphemous book that should not be given any importance in the first place. We always speaking about bringing people into the fold of Islam, but how will Non Muslims view us if we have Muslims bashing up Muslims simply because our opinions on certain topics differ. It is an absolute shame and a disgrace.  At one point in the interview, the presenter mentioned in a subtle manner that perhaps these men have a staunch outlook to religion and the fact that she mentioned Rushdie’s name made them undertake such vile actions. Whether you are staunch in your faith or not is not anyone else’s concern but your own. You have no right to beat up another human being especially a woman and that‘s the bottom line. You may be staunch, you may be preaching your whole life, you may be praying five times a day but you will still go to hell as a result of bad character and the way you treat your fellow human being. As South African Muslims we need to stand up in unison and say that this kind of behaviour is not acceptable within our communities. The Prophet (saw) treated his enemies with respect and kindness. He invited people to Islam peacefully. It is sad that the very same people who claim to love their religion and to love the Prophet (saw) behave like animals contrary to the Quraan and the sunnah of our beloved Prophet Muhammed (saw). 

Book launch: Riding the Samoosa Express

I never dreamt of becoming an author or having my name printed on a book cover. I guess it was destiny that allowed me to be a part of the “Riding the Samoosa Express” journey. The book launched successfully on Saturday the 21^st of March at Skoobs theatre of books located at Montecasino. I am extremely proud to have been a part of this project alongside 27 other strong and dynamic South African Muslim women. Through my travels I have observed that many westerners actually have a very warped sense of how a Muslim woman should be. We are always portrayed in newspapers and in the media as being pitiful or hailing from a culture that supports male domination and patriarchy. “Riding the Samoosa Express” is an anthology that brings to the fore true life experiences of 27 strong willed and strong minded Muslim women.  It is a narrative that explores various themes including love, life, divorce and the concept of marriage as seen through the eyes of well educated South African Muslim women who have went against the norms of society and achieved their goals in life. It is a celebration of women and in particular Muslim women who have steered away from stereotypes and started questioning the idea of a patriarchal male dominated society. Islam has always placed women in extremely high esteem but we have allowed a patriarchal system to hijack our role and place within the Islamic world.

I would like to thank Zaheera Jina Asvat and Hasina Asvat for granting me the opportunity of being a part of this wonderful initiative. The Nisaa institute for women’s development has been adopted as the beneficiary for the book. The institute is an NGO organization that renders services to abused women and children. Hence I urge all my fans and friends to purchase this book and make a contribution towards a worthy cause. This book has proven to the world that Muslim women have a voice and we are willing to stand up against all odds in order to achieve success. I hope that this book will also be an inspiration to women out there who find themselves in abusive or submissive relationships. May this book arouse within you a desire to break free and ignite within you a passion to achieve all your goals in life. 

 

Riding the Samoosa Express

Our book "Riding the Samoosa Express", edited by Zaheera Jina and Hasina Asvat, written by 27 contributors including myself will be launching tomorrow morning at Skoobs theatre of books, Montecasino. The books will also be available for purchase at the following stores:

EXCLUSIVE - SANDTON CITY

EXCLUSIVE - VICTORIA WHARF

EXCLUSIVE - WESTVILLE

HARGRAVES LIBRARY SERVICES

EXCLUSIVE - CENTURION CENTRE

EXCLUSIVE - LA LUCIA

EXCLUSIVE - MANDELA SQUARE

FOGARTY'S BOOKSHOP cc

ADAMS & CO

BLUEWEAVER - REKLAME

BLUEWEAVER - REKLAME

CASCADES BOOKSHOP

EXCLUSIVE - CAPE DOMESTIC

Also, at present the books are selling for R200 each but if you log onto www.modjajibooks.co.za you will get a R50 discount on the book. Just fill in the name "samoosa" in the coupon space when you place an order and it will deduct R50.00

"The Nisaa Institute for Women's Development" has been adopted as a beneficiary of the book.

"The Nisaa Institute for Women's Development" is an NGO organisation rendering services to abused women and their children.

Dr. Zubeda Dangor from the institute will give a short talk at the launch.