Assalamu3alaykum Sumayya,
I am writing to you and hoping everything is going well with you.
Since I am now in the USA continuing my studies and this is for me the first real experience to live outside my home country and culture that I am so use to facing every day, I thus have so many thoughts about this experience and stories o...f different people “Saudis and Americans”.
About myself, I did not need America or the “American System” to teach me the mannerism, good behavior, or communication skills with other people, Alhamdulillah “thanks to Allah” I got those from my childhood since I have good parents. But, unfortunately, for some reasons many Saudis are lacking those behaviors and I am sure you know what I am talking about. It is really difficult for me to live the unorganized inconsiderate Saudi style in my country. So, when I and many of my good friends came to USA, we just found the “way of living and common respect” fits in with our lives. We started to hear new words were simply missed in our culture back in Saudi Arabia like “Thank You”, “Excuse me”, “Please”, or “Sorry”. Guess what, I saw people standing in a queue everywhere “banks, shops, and even in front of a hot dog carts on the sidewalks”. I have seen people holding the door for me to keep it open, which I hardly recall ever happening in Saudi Arabia….. Oh wait I am sorry, it does happen for certain people only who are ranked highly in society and the doors figuratively and literally are kept open for their pleasure, even though this may affect other people. A common mistake in our society is that if anyone thinks that you disagree with some people from within your community that means you are against the country or you are a rebelling person. I am one proud Muslim, but I prefer a Christian guy who treats me with respect over a Muslim who happens to be unfair with others. Many close minded people will take my speech as being liberal or me being influenced by secular thoughts.
But for sure America is not that perfect place with no one single flaw. “I believe that heaven is the only perfect place”. They have their horrible history from the Indians and Native Americans, slavery, and racism and discrimination. I am sure you are a good reader and follow the news. Almost 35 years ago during the blackout that stroked New York City , the city was lacking the power for only two days, but people went mad and started to break shops and commit crimes for no reason at all. I am, as a resident there, always keeping in my mind that Mr. Johnny who happens to be a nice, smiley friendly neighbor, when he loses his job and thus has no money in his hands, he might take the advantage of the blackout and rob me. Unfortunately, this behavior of stealing from others in times of crisis occurred during the last big explosion of the gas lorry in Riyadh and it was videoed as well.
As a general observation, we have the same crimes as they do. But they are taking it seriously and try their best to catch the criminals and, in contrary, we do not.
Needless to say that freedom in the USA has the greatest impact on their culture. But as Muslim, there are things that cannot be accepted under freedom of choice “like homosexuality, parents abandoned by their kids, sexual relationships before marriage, abortion, and etc…”. and for some unknown reason, you cannot say it in public that you are against these kind of behaviors.
I remember when I was having a discussion about culture differences with an American, he asked me: “are you a religious person?” and I answered: “your question has a different meaning in our religion in comparison to yours. For us as Muslims, you have to pray all the prayers no matter what happened, with a small exception in the arrangement for certain times, etc… So we have to be religious otherwise we will not be called Muslims. For your religion, if you asked someone are you a religious, that means do you go to a church every Sunday, and if he does not go to a church, he will still be called a Christian”
Then he made me laugh when I asked him:” Do you go to a church?”
He said:” NO, and God has to understand that”
In general, if there is one thing I can bring back home from the USA, it is how to deal with other people with respect and how to understand other peoples point of view. We are labeled as Muslims, but we don’t practice this great faith.
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