"
Hai Baghwaan, Kya zamaana aagaya (oh my God, What times have come?)"
Savitri mumbled as she made her way through the front door of her
beautifully furnished, opulent home. Huffing and puffing, she made her
way to the black leather lazy boy massaging chair that was situated in
the corner of the room adjacent to the sliding door that exited to the
swimming pool and main entertainment
area of the house. " Agnes, bring me a glass of water" she shouted.
Savitri is a typical traditional Hindu lady who worked very hard for
most of her life in her husbands laundromat and tailoring business. She
made sure that all four sons became doctors abroad at a well known
prestigious university.Two of her sons reside in the same neighbourhood a
few doors away and Rushil and Keval married European women and settled
in Paris. Savitri is short and stout in stature and not the tiniest of
individuals around might I add. Despite being overweight, she chooses to
wear trendy saris with matching accessories and high heel shoes but
always fails to conceal the rolls and folds around her waist area. I
always wondered why does she have to expose her ' Firestone tyres ' in
public. Nonetheless she is a bright, bold and vivacious character who
seems pretty comfortable in the skin that she is in and I guess doesn't
really care about what the general public think about her. Her husband
Rohan on the other hand is a meek, submissive individual in my opinion.
He is a middle aged man and even after the grey hairs have set in there
is no doubt that Rohan must have been a strikingly good looking
handsome man in his heyday. Nowadays he is retired and spends most of
his day taking walks around the neighbourhood, swimming and spending
time with his grandchildren. He is a well groomed man always sporting
trendy elegant athletic wear along with a designer watch. Rohan looks
ten years younger than most men within his age category as he does spend
a lot of time looking after himself in terms of eating the correct
foods and visiting the gym regularly quite the opposite to his wife
Savitri who spends most of her time at home cooking up a storm for her
grandchildren and being involved with elaborate tea party afternoons
with the elite women of the community. Rohan stares at his wife as she
gulps down the glass of water.
" Savi, why don't you start going to the gym? It would be good for your health. You wouldn't feel so tired and out of breath.'
' No, No. What nonsense. I need to be at home cooking for the kids. Prakash and Aditya only like my hand food. You know how their wives are. Both my daughter in laws are so useless. All they know is fast food and take away.. No, no, my sons need wholesome, home made food. I wonder what my angrez (English) daughter in laws are feeding my poor babies in Paris. They must have lost so must of weight. Next week I will make pickles, chevra and other frozen items to take with us to Paris. Need to fatten them up again whilst we there.."
Rohan simply nods his head and continues reading the newspaper. " Hey, did you see the newspaper Savi? Renukha's daughter in law, Latika is in the paper. She is now promoted to being the head of Baragwanath hospital. I am sure her husband and family must be so proud of her." Rohan looks at Savi with sheer delight and happiness showing on his face.
" Yes, I just came from their house." Savi replied.
" I wanted to visit Nandi Bhen after her operation. Hai Bhagwaan. Latika was sitting in front of the television doing her nails whilst her husband Ramesh was cooking dinner and trying to feed baby Simran at the same time. He said he was helping his wife as she was tired and exhausted after attending a day of meetings.What a sissy boy that Rohan is. What a shameless woman to make her husband slog in the kitchen whilst she sits like a rani in front of the television'
"Savi, zamana badalgaya. Times have changed. Let the kids lead their own lives." Rohan replied to Savitri in an irritated tone.
Savitri was really not in the mood of listening to Rohan's long sermon which she has become quite accustomed to hearing in recent times so she quickly decided to get up and make her way towards the kitchen. Just then the phone rings.
Does the above scenario paint a very familiar picture to you? I am sure it does. Within the Arab and Indian communities in general, the women are meant to cook, clean and take care of all the household domesticated chores. Our grandparents were brought up with an old school of thought whereby the women were meant to slave away for their husbands. Take for example in our household, dad is the youngest of 7 brothers and hence he was very spoiled by his mom. Naturally, when he got married he expected the same kind of vip treatment from my mother. Hence, to this day my mom has taken care of all the household and domesticated chores without dad having to worry about anything. With none of the men in our home having a keen interest in assisting with household tasks, mom was very impressed with our guest from Pakistan, Jamal who assisted mom in the kitchen a few days ago by making all the rotis for dinner. Naturally, when dad and my brother walked into the house they were quite surprised to find him rolling out the rotis in the kitchen. A strange phenomenon for them I guess, they simply walked past the kitchen with a huge smile on their faces.
I don't know where this idea or notion stems from that it is the duty of a woman to take care of household chores. Even from a religious perspective a woman is not obliged to be solely responsible for household and domestic chores. Rather a woman carries out these duties out of love and affection for her husband and kids.The Prophet Muhammed (saw) set a universal example for all men by assisting his wives with domestic and household related chores. Whilst it is very difficult to change the mindset of our parents and grandparents, I think that the mothers of today should try implementing changes within their homes. Both sexes should be treated alike.Boys should also be given domestic household chores to carry out like ironing, washing the dishes and even assisting in cooking simple meals. These skills would definitely assist them in creating a life of marital bliss years down the line. A husband who assists his wife with domestic related tasks creates an environment of sharing and caring. It is only natural that any wife who has a supportive partner would love her husband in return and go out of her way to fulfill his needs and desires thereby creating a heavenly home environment. As Mary Kay Blakely once said," If my sons are to become the kind of men our daughters would be pleased to live among, attention to domestic details is critical. The hostilities that arise over housework...are crushing the daughters of my generation....Change takes time, but men's continued obliviousness to home responsibilities is causing women everywhere to expire of trivialities." And on that sweet note I now present you with a picture of beautiful tempting cupcakes that were baked by a friend of mine who resides in South Africa. He is a doctor with a tremendous passion for cooking and baking. The woman he marries will definitely be one lucky soul. That's for sure.
" Savi, why don't you start going to the gym? It would be good for your health. You wouldn't feel so tired and out of breath.'
' No, No. What nonsense. I need to be at home cooking for the kids. Prakash and Aditya only like my hand food. You know how their wives are. Both my daughter in laws are so useless. All they know is fast food and take away.. No, no, my sons need wholesome, home made food. I wonder what my angrez (English) daughter in laws are feeding my poor babies in Paris. They must have lost so must of weight. Next week I will make pickles, chevra and other frozen items to take with us to Paris. Need to fatten them up again whilst we there.."
Rohan simply nods his head and continues reading the newspaper. " Hey, did you see the newspaper Savi? Renukha's daughter in law, Latika is in the paper. She is now promoted to being the head of Baragwanath hospital. I am sure her husband and family must be so proud of her." Rohan looks at Savi with sheer delight and happiness showing on his face.
" Yes, I just came from their house." Savi replied.
" I wanted to visit Nandi Bhen after her operation. Hai Bhagwaan. Latika was sitting in front of the television doing her nails whilst her husband Ramesh was cooking dinner and trying to feed baby Simran at the same time. He said he was helping his wife as she was tired and exhausted after attending a day of meetings.What a sissy boy that Rohan is. What a shameless woman to make her husband slog in the kitchen whilst she sits like a rani in front of the television'
"Savi, zamana badalgaya. Times have changed. Let the kids lead their own lives." Rohan replied to Savitri in an irritated tone.
Savitri was really not in the mood of listening to Rohan's long sermon which she has become quite accustomed to hearing in recent times so she quickly decided to get up and make her way towards the kitchen. Just then the phone rings.
Does the above scenario paint a very familiar picture to you? I am sure it does. Within the Arab and Indian communities in general, the women are meant to cook, clean and take care of all the household domesticated chores. Our grandparents were brought up with an old school of thought whereby the women were meant to slave away for their husbands. Take for example in our household, dad is the youngest of 7 brothers and hence he was very spoiled by his mom. Naturally, when he got married he expected the same kind of vip treatment from my mother. Hence, to this day my mom has taken care of all the household and domesticated chores without dad having to worry about anything. With none of the men in our home having a keen interest in assisting with household tasks, mom was very impressed with our guest from Pakistan, Jamal who assisted mom in the kitchen a few days ago by making all the rotis for dinner. Naturally, when dad and my brother walked into the house they were quite surprised to find him rolling out the rotis in the kitchen. A strange phenomenon for them I guess, they simply walked past the kitchen with a huge smile on their faces.
I don't know where this idea or notion stems from that it is the duty of a woman to take care of household chores. Even from a religious perspective a woman is not obliged to be solely responsible for household and domestic chores. Rather a woman carries out these duties out of love and affection for her husband and kids.The Prophet Muhammed (saw) set a universal example for all men by assisting his wives with domestic and household related chores. Whilst it is very difficult to change the mindset of our parents and grandparents, I think that the mothers of today should try implementing changes within their homes. Both sexes should be treated alike.Boys should also be given domestic household chores to carry out like ironing, washing the dishes and even assisting in cooking simple meals. These skills would definitely assist them in creating a life of marital bliss years down the line. A husband who assists his wife with domestic related tasks creates an environment of sharing and caring. It is only natural that any wife who has a supportive partner would love her husband in return and go out of her way to fulfill his needs and desires thereby creating a heavenly home environment. As Mary Kay Blakely once said," If my sons are to become the kind of men our daughters would be pleased to live among, attention to domestic details is critical. The hostilities that arise over housework...are crushing the daughters of my generation....Change takes time, but men's continued obliviousness to home responsibilities is causing women everywhere to expire of trivialities." And on that sweet note I now present you with a picture of beautiful tempting cupcakes that were baked by a friend of mine who resides in South Africa. He is a doctor with a tremendous passion for cooking and baking. The woman he marries will definitely be one lucky soul. That's for sure.
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